Feeling a little down in the self confidence area (Caution a little ranty and long)

swooshfinn

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Ok, need to give a little background.

I have a Bachelor's of Science in International Business from Illinois State University, graduated in 2001; although my GPA wasn't the best, was able to pull through a couple of really troublesome courses with equally troublesome profs and an academic advisor.

My first year out of college, I had an application in with Rotary International for a graduate level degree that would take me overseas for a couple of years, so I was being selective with looking at jobs at the time, doing substitute teaching to pay for my bills. I heard I wasn't make it very far in the running for the scholarship (there were a total of 12 worldwide) but was at least greatful that my local district was supportive in me once again, having already been a Rotary International Youth Exchange Student back in high school; so I continued through the academic year substituting, and went back to an old summer job, working in an art supply distribution center in my hometown that summer. Stuck with that for almost year before I took my next step. I then went and did door-to-door sales for a period of 7 weeks, completely uprooting from a rural town in Illinois to go to St. Louis. I was miserable and broke, so I just walked into the office one afternoon after returning from the field and quit. I then found a full time position selling men's shoes at a mall. It paid the rent for the remainder of my lease that year, but I had had enough, and moved back home with my parents once again. Basically over qualified for just about every position available to me in my hometown, I took a management trainee position with a regional "big box" home improvement chain in the midwest and thought that I was going to be successful for the first time in a sales position. Moved for a promotion 4 months after getting hired, and then moved for another promotion another 9 months after that. That is when I hit my first road block, I should have known that I was going to run into trouble moving to Terre Haute, Indiana, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but I thought that I might be able to pull through. Four months after getting promoted to a department manager in Terre Haute, I was getting demoted down to a regular full time position (non-management) with my store manager threatening to fire me. Three months after that demotion, he was willing to give me another chance with a promotion out to a new store in West Lafayette, so I bit and took that. Not three months after the grand opening of that store, I was rocked again by the fact that my new store manager was demoting me again, with a choice to stay at that store or work across town, I chose the later, which in hindsight was the way to go. A year and a half of waiting proved to give me another opportunity to get back to management, and I took it, needing the money. Now eight months after that promotion, I am yet again on the verge of getting demoted or terminated, and most of the people that have been supportive of me and my closest friends are leaving for other stores with promotions of their own or new jobs outside of the company altogether; leaving me in a vunerable position.

Being in retail, I have learned that there are a lot of people who think they know how to do things, but they have no clue; there are a lot of people out there that need other people to do everything for them, cause they under estimate their ability level or are just to lazy to do it themselves, and there are way too many people that just don't understand that when you walk into a store, that it isn't a flea market and most prices are non-negotiable. I see the worst in people day in and day out, and it has effected me. I get chewed out by customers, chewed out by my store managers or my department manager, and chewed out by people that don't even work in the stores but at our general offices. I work my tail off trying the to do the best I can possibly do, but it never seems like it is good enough for anyone.

I know that I am capable of way much more than what my current employer thinks that I ever will be. I send out resumes for positions that I find interesting, but am usually underqualified for those, and am way too overqualified for just about anything that most employers are going to offer me. I dispise my job, and have lost respect for my a lot of the "guests" that I see on any given day in my store.

I guess I am just at a loss at what I need to do to get out of this rut, and out of the "rat-race" of sales and into something that better suits my personality.
 
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