Unruly kids at retail establishments

cdubbie · May 19, 2008

This has been a great thread to read. I detest Walmart for many reasons and get booed a lot IRL because I dont think Walmart is the greatest experience ever!

My girlfriends call Walmart the store to keep you on birth control LOL. All the unruly kids at all hours of the (late) night remind us kids are quite a handful and require careful (and exhausting) parenting.

It's nice to see I'm not the only one who finds it so stressful to shop there that it is avoided.

I also dont find their prices cheaper than the Target in the same shopping center...so you know where I be going!

krazy kat2 · May 19, 2008

You guys are scaring me. I just got desperate enough to apply at our local Wal-Mart, the busiest one on the east coast. They built another one on the other end of town, but it is almost always deserted. If gas were not so expensive in my big truck, I would go there instead of the one I can almost see from my house.
I never even saw a Wal-Mart until I was about 20, we did not have them in Augusta. We only had K-Mart and Roses.

zissou'smom · May 19, 2008

I haven't set foot in a Walmart for years for ethical reasons, but that sort of thing is common to retail. Maybe more common at big-box stores, especially ones that advertise themselves to that particular type of person.

But I work in a bookstore in the middle of a not-very-great area of the city, and you'd be astonished at what people let their kids do. I'm not sure why, but people either assume that the employees are their babysitters or just don't care what happens to their kids. At least once a week, we have to force some kids from running the wrong way up the top of the escalator (which could, frankly, be a pretty deadly activity if they tripped) or get them to stop screaming or playing on the ladders... not to mention the children who are completely unattended by any adults at all. We have groups of kids come in, some of whom look to be in Kindergarten with their siblings. My favorite example of what happens when parents refuse to be parents is when one of them (has to be 10 or 11 years old) tries to steal an exacto knife so he can steal electronics, cuts the heck out of his hand, bled all over the store and a towel he took off the shelf and subsequently left on the floor, and then ran away. I wonder if his mother even bothered to give him a bandaid when he got home.

catsallover · May 19, 2008

At our house, the rule is "Mind first, then ask why, and I'll tell you" with the explanation of why we do this is: "You might get hurt if you ask why before doing what I told you to", and it has worked surprisingly well, even with a stubborn toddler, lol.

And then there are the days when even the best behaved and disiplined child is a holy terror...

gah.

But the parents who aren't paying attention and don't care...they drive me nuts...

Originally Posted by badninjakitties

I definitely agree!! One thing I love that my mother did when raising me and my sisters was that she always told us "why". She NEVER said "because I said so." When I grew up and went out on my own I never felt like I had to do stupid things just to see why I shouldn't do them. I have thanked my mother for her wisdom in this area of raising her children and if I am blessed with children of my own, I will practice the same wisdom. I hate it when a parent tells a child to do something simply because they "said so"

buzbyjlc10 · May 19, 2008

My personal opinion, and don't jump all over me it's just my opinion I'm not telling anyone else to do it, is kids today could benefit from a good butt whoopin - not for every little thing and of course not in an abusive way... but when I was little and was waaaay outa line, I got a butt whoopin - not in public mind you but it got the point across and I never did those things again, you knew you were in trouble if mom threatened a butt whoopin and you stopped immediately.... but if we were in a store and I wanted something and my parents said no, that was the end of it and I dealt with it... my mom is a teacher's aide in the school district where I went to school and the stories she tells are ridiculous! It just seems parents these days don't care and their mindset is "Oh my Johnny can do no wrong!" I say give the kid a knife and tell him to go cut a switch lol (fyi, I was never whooped with anything more than a flat hand lol - it was a slap on the bum and a time out in my room)

pipersjo · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by BuzbyJLC10

My personal opinion, and don't jump all over me it's just my opinion I'm not telling anyone else to do it, is kids today could benefit from a good butt whoopin - not for every little thing and of course not in an abusive way... but when I was little and was waaaay outa line, I got a butt whoopin - not in public mind you but it got the point across and I never did those things again, you knew you were in trouble if mom threatened a butt whoopin and you stopped immediately.... but if we were in a store and I wanted something and my parents said no, that was the end of it and I dealt with it... my mom is a teacher's aide in the school district where I went to school and the stories she tells are ridiculous! It just seems parents these days don't care and their mindset is "Oh my Johnny can do no wrong!" I say give the kid a knife and tell him to go cut a switch lol (fyi, I was never whooped with anything more than a flat hand lol - it was a slap on the bum and a time out in my room)

The spanking subject has come up before-- I think that it is in IMO. I do agree though, but not as the only punishment.

I just can't get over the parenting styles now! My mom would have been livid if we had acted as badly as most of these kids! We were never as bad as I see now in public. Now, at home that's was a different story!

swampwitch · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by Jack31

...The one thing I hear the most often said by such parents (that makes me boiling mad) is "I told you to stay right next to me, get over here or I'll spank you" It's not the spanking part that upsets me--its the fact that if perhaps they explained to their child why they wanted them to stay near by (kidnappers, safety, etc) kids might actually stay.

If you said to me "Leslie don't move" I'd move, whats the big deal. If you said "Leslie don't move, there is a hornet on your shoulder" I wouldn't move.

Leslie

This is very true! You are absolutely right. I have found that sometimes kids just don't listen/hear you/reside in the same space.

I have a theory that kids hear only the ending of what you say to them.

For example,

You Say: Don't run!
Kid Hears: Run!
Better Choice: Walk!

You Say: Don't touch the crystal glasses on display.
Kid Hears: Touch the crystal glasses on display.

You Say: Leslie, don't move!
Kid Hears: Move!

You Say: Leslie don't move, there is a hornet on your shoulder!
Kid Hears: Hornet on your shoulder!

Etcetera!

Originally Posted by BuzbyJLC10

OMG! Similar story on Friday! My mom and I went to walmart for a few things and as we're standing in line/leave 3 kids (NO PARENTS IN SIGHT!) each take a motorized scooter and take off in the store... they were running over people and into displays - knocking them over!...

I was in a store last week that had a sign:

Unattended children will be given a triple espresso and a puppy.

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

This is a point I've been trying to make for YEARS! People act as if children are idiots, incapable of grasping even the simplest reasoning -- but they are NOT. .

Most of 'em, anyway, lol!

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

...They need and deserve to understand WHY when you tell them something... and if you give them that level of respect and inclusion, then they're more likely to understand that you always have a good reason for what you ask them to do, and maybe they'll obey more quickly in emergency situations, when you only have time to say, "STOP!" or "NO!" or whatever....

And if they aren't good listeners, you can behavior-train children to stop on command. It's not difficult. And if you say, "STOP" with enough authority, all the adults within hearing distance will stop short, too.

carolpetunia · May 19, 2008

Another perspective on spanking:

I was a very good little girl and didn't get spanked much, but it did happen occasionally early on. Then when I was six years old, I went through a period when I was apparently perfect

and got no spankings at all for quite awhile.

So one day when my mom suddenly did spank me again, it came as a total shock.

Apparently, some shift had occurred in my thinking during that time, and that particular spanking was, in my mind, disrespectful. I was grown-up enough now that I felt Mom and I could resolve our problems through conversation, and I was insulted that I'd been spanked.

It sounds funny, I know... but it was absolutely sincere on my part, and I hate to say it, but that marked a change in my relationship with my mother. We were not as close after that.

So if you believe in corporal punishment (which I don't), at least TRY talking first. Hitting is the lowest common denominator in communication... and your child may be capable of better.

mews2much · May 19, 2008

When I was 8 years old my Dad took us to the Market. My Brother was in the Cart and he stood up and landed on his head. My dad left the full Cart and we went to Er. He had a big lump and Bruise. The Dr said never put a kid in the back of the Cart. My Brother was 3 at the time. I ahve seen so many bad kids and the parents do not care. We do not go to Walmart often because it is so crowded and there are Kids running all over. When I worked a brat ran right in to me and I had a huge Bruise on my thigh. I got mad and said why dont you watch your Kids. People complained about her. They threw stuff in the Salad Bar too.

ooomisseooo · May 19, 2008

I don't wanna generalize on any one paticular area but when i've shopped in supermarkets in moreless deprived areas of the city ....I have noticed an abundance of parents literally grabbing and yelling at their children. I don't see this in the supermarket by my place of residence ever. What gives?

rockcat · May 19, 2008

This thread reminds me of this:

Parents, please don't get mad. Its just a joke.

krazy kat2 · May 19, 2008

My mother never spanked us with other people looking on,but she would take us to the restroom and wear our butts out if we needed it, but only if we had really been bad and would not listen. Mostly it was for offenses in church. It only took a few times for us to get that she meant it, and all she had to was ask where the restroom was, and we stopped what we were doing and behaved. I was fortunate that I could count on one hand that my daughter really needed a spanking, because I really hated to do it. She was usually good with the removal of a favorite toy or tv. She thanked me later, because those things would cause her to pick up a book, even though we read to her anyway, she grew to have a real love for books. Her daughter has had only 1 spanking nd that was for running toward the road after she had been told several times not to, and removed from the area while being told she could be hurt badly or stolen from her mommy if she did that. Thankfully she has never done it again.

noblesdaddy · May 19, 2008

I think it's something about Wal Mart.

No, seriously, it seems like every time I go in there kids are getting lost, or wandering around, or screaming at the top of their lungs; behavior I don't see in that many other places.
When I was little- if I did HALF the things the kids I see in Wal Mart doing, my mom wouldn't be too happy- and it wouldn't be pretty.
But, I was a quiet child.

laureen227 · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by BuzbyJLC10

my mom is a teacher's aide in the school district where I went to school and the stories she tells are ridiculous! It just seems parents these days don't care and their mindset is "Oh my Johnny can do no wrong!"

this is quite common... one of my colleagues calls it "PCS" [perfect child syndrome] altho i read something recently that indicates that "NMCS" [not my child syndrome] is a better acronym. [we're big on acronyms in education! just think of ADD, AD/HD, ARD, MR, LD, SI, VI, PDD-NOS - i could go on & on!]

luvmy2cats · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by BuzbyJLC10

My personal opinion, and don't jump all over me it's just my opinion I'm not telling anyone else to do it, is kids today could benefit from a good butt whoopin - not for every little thing and of course not in an abusive way... but when I was little and was waaaay outa line, I got a butt whoopin - not in public mind you but it got the point across and I never did those things again, you knew you were in trouble if mom threatened a butt whoopin and you stopped immediately.... but if we were in a store and I wanted something and my parents said no, that was the end of it and I dealt with it... my mom is a teacher's aide in the school district where I went to school and the stories she tells are ridiculous! It just seems parents these days don't care and their mindset is "Oh my Johnny can do no wrong!" I say give the kid a knife and tell him to go cut a switch lol (fyi, I was never whooped with anything more than a flat hand lol - it was a slap on the bum and a time out in my room)

I completely agree on the butt whoopin thing. IMO one of the reasons kids are so bratty is because they have it way too easy and parents are just too lazy to keep them in line. I think people should have to pass some sort of test to be able to have children.

tierre0 · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I thought Wal-mart decorated with running screaming children

My thoughts exactly.

I generally try to go later at night after 8 when most little kids in my opinion should be in bed already, but there are still tons of them running around. Guess you can't win no matter how hard you try..

addiebee · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by RubSluts'Mommy

I've told little kids standing, or trying to stand, in shopping carts that they need to sit down on their butts before they fall out. They listen to strangers. Usually I'm working (one job is retail). At the library, when I'm in the kids area, I get little ones running around and yelling. I've told them to use their inside voices or whisper, and we also have theses vinyl upholstered benches that the kids love climbing all over... some have taken to running up and down them... I usually go over to them, if the parents aren't doing this, and tell them the benches are for sitting, not running on.

Speaking of those motorized carts? I had a kid, about ten, last week at the store who wanted something... he interrupted me while I was ringing up a customer, and I told him I'd help him in a minute. Now, in our store, we have a lounge area I call the Lost Husbands Lounge (it's a fabric store)... and we have satellite TV, and chairs and a table... I thought the kid wanted the remote to change the TV... nope. When I got over there, he pointed to the motorized cart and wanted the key... I told him it's not a toy and that unless he needed it, he was not to play on or with it. Shortly thereafter, he grabbed a regular shopping cart and backed it up... then started running with it toward the front door. I didn't have a customer, so I logged back off of my register and walked over there ... again. I told him the shopping carts are also not toys. He was a rude, inconsiderate brat... his daddy was sitting in the lounge area zoned out on TV... the women of the family were off shopping in the store...

No one ever needed to explain to me why you didn't do things... I was an observant child who watched my older siblings do stupid things and get hurt/punished for them... I knew better...

*sigh* God help us when they grow up...

A.

Yup!! I live in an upscale area and can say that bad parenting knows no socio-economic bounds, either. I heard a mother explain to a daughter why they couldnt by a box of cereal - basically, because people just don't EAT THAT cereal anymore. ( in other words, it wasn't trendy enough. It was Wheaties, BTW! Sheesh!!)

Oh yes, and we have a fair share of screaming, spoiled, undisciplined brats, who whine and cry while the parents try talking them down. That doesn't work with an irrational child who knows the M or D will give in eventually. The problem is that parents are afraid to use discipline. I don't mean a swat or a spanking. I mean --- say what you mean and MEAN what you say. That there are consequences for actions and then follow through. My mother NEVER made idle threats!!!! if she said, "if you do that again, I will do X." And she did ... she meant it and we learned pretty darn quickly.

mrblanche · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

He certainly would! Ol' Sam seems to have been a reasonably good guy, but his corporation has become Evil Incarnate. I try to avoid Wal-Mart, but we're just too poor, especially now... we have no choice but to go wherever the prices are lowest. But someday, I dearly hope to be able to boycott them.

Do you remember two of his mottos were:

1. "You're next in line." If there were more than two people waiting for checkout in any line, his policy was to keep opening more registers until either every line had 2 or fewer people in it, or all the registers were open. Poor check-out was one of the items that nearly killed K-Mart, and Sam knew it.

2. "Bringing it home to America." He actively looked for American companies to produce goods for Wal-Mart, showing them the items made elsewhere and telling them what the bids were. He would pay more for an American-made item than for an imported item, if he could find one.

trouts mom · May 19, 2008

Originally Posted by AddieBee

Yup!! I live in an upscale area and can say that bad parenting knows no socio-economic bounds, either. I heard a mother explain to a daughter why they couldnt by a box of cereal - basically, because people just don't EAT THAT cereal anymore. ( in other words, it wasn't trendy enough. It was Wheaties, BTW! Sheesh!!)

OMG, one time I over heard a mother saying if they bought milk she wouldn't have enough money for smokes.

sweet72947 · May 19, 2008

Hey its not only Wal-Mart where there are ill-behaved children. I used to work at a Dollar General, and although weekdays were ok, Saturdays and Sundays were insane. We could never keep the toy isle straightened up, I would clean it up and about 5 minutes later it would look like a craphole again. Once some kids even dumped some bottles of bubble solution all over the floor by the toy isle, causing a woman to slip, grab hold of a shelf, and wrentch her back. I had to call the Manager so that they could fill out an accident report.

Also, there's nothing like cleaning the toy isle and finding a stale, hard as a rock half-eaten McDonald's cheeseburger buried under a pile of toys.

Unruly kids at retail establishments

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