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I must help somebody - before it's too late - Gambling

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Okay, I've never believed it's going to happen to someone I know, but my girlfriend - okay, so her mom has a kind of boyfriend she lives with, I mean they live together like husband and wife.
They don't have a lot of money with them, and I mean it like they really don't have money, almost none, not even to pay bills.

Her boyfriend was looking at Casino website and he's going to gamble. Now if that would be just for fun I wouldn't even post here but I saw his computer today and normally I don't look up in people's files or history but the guy got "hooked" into gambling and I've no idea how to stop him before the bad news come and there will be bad news.

How can I stop it before the action is taking place? How can I help her or him to not go to any Casino here? If I call the casino and demand them to not let him bet - would it help? I really want to help them, but I'm running out of ideas. Please help
post #2 of 12
Some people are just compulsive gamblers, there are sites on the net that you can gamble on and they really do cost you money! So he could already be gambling! There is a gambling support number you can get at any local casino near you and maybe slip to him! Try to nip it in the bud before its too late! My DH is a gambler, he is also an alcaholic. Life gets pretty hard sometimes!
post #3 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by glitch View Post
Some people are just compulsive gamblers, there are sites on the net that you can gamble on and they really do cost you money! So he could already be gambling! There is a gambling support number you can get at any local casino near you and maybe slip to him! Try to nip it in the bud before its too late! My DH is a gambler, he is also an alcaholic. Life gets pretty hard sometimes!
Thanks for the tips, I guess that's the best can be done which is obviously won't help him to not go to the casino...
post #4 of 12
Maybe you could try talking to him in private where his woman cant hear and explain to him the dangers that could take place if he gambles and what could be lost which is obviously alot more than just money!! Have him make a list of the pro's and cons of gambling! That way he knows whats at stake! Good for you for wanting to put a helping hand out there! Alot of people would just turn a blind eye, but gambling starts a patern of addiction that is really hard to break! It may start there, but thats a stepping stone to another problem! Like drinking, you go to a casino to play and they hand you a free beer, they dont do that just for fun, they're hoping once you drink one that you will continue to drink and spend money! Since you lose your inhibitions when you are drinking you are more likely to spend more money, and even tip better! (yeah I worked at a casino before...) You are the first person to realize a potential problem so its up to you to say something to him, or even his GF who might have more say in the situation! The first step is realizing there could be a problem!
post #5 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by arie85 View Post
the guy got "hooked" into gambling and I've no idea how to stop him before the bad news come and there will be bad news.

How can I stop it before the action is taking place? How can I help her or him to not go to any Casino here? If I call the casino and demand them to not let him bet - would it help? I really want to help them, but I'm running out of ideas. Please help
Nothing you can do actually unless they admit they have a problem, ask for help and want to quit.

You can maybe find an opportunity where they are alone and talk to them quietly about it. Mention that you have heard rumours that he is seriously into gambling and ask him if what you have "heard" is true. If they lie and say "no", then you have your answer.
post #6 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thanks a lot for your tips.
The problem with this guy is that he's very very stubborn, he is stubborn so much that I know he won't listen to me. I feel very sorry, he even wants to take the "free bus" from Plano to this casino. Glitch, it's the same thing - free bus, free bear - totally makes sense.

I told his GF about it many times and trying to push her to do something..
post #7 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by arie85 View Post
Thanks a lot for your tips.
The problem with this guy is that he's very very stubborn, he is stubborn so much that I know he won't listen to me. I feel very sorry, he even wants to take the "free bus" from Plano to this casino. Glitch, it's the same thing - free bus, free bear - totally makes sense.

I told his GF about it many times and trying to push her to do something..
You push too much and you may lose a friend. There is absolutely nothing you can do to help this person unless they admit they have a problem and want to get help to stop. He obviously doesn't, at least not yet.

Sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom to make a change in their life, and sometimes even that is not enough for some people.

All you can do is not enable him by loaning him money to support his gambling.

So far as his girl friend goes, it's really her business whether she stays with him or not. To be completely honest, I know you want to help, but it's really none of your business unless they bring you into the fold and ask for your help and advice.
post #8 of 12
Here's the number for the Dallas-area chapter of Gambler's Anonymous: 214-890-0005. If you can't get him to go to a meeting, you could go yourself and ask if they can help you figure out how to talk to him about this in an effective way...
post #9 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
You push too much and you may lose a friend. There is absolutely nothing you can do to help this person unless they admit they have a problem and want to get help to stop. He obviously doesn't, at least not yet.
I agree. He's an adult as well, so old enough to know what he's doing
post #10 of 12
Why is this your responsibility? I'd butt out, personally.
post #11 of 12
I have to agree with those who feel you would be, and are, overstepping. First, you really had no right to check his computer history...I would be furious if someone did that to me. IMO that was an invasion of his privacy, regardless of your intentions. Second, it really is just your opinion that he has an addiction to gambling, which is a pretty serious diagnosis.

Unless you are someone he looks to for advice, I agree with you that he is unlikely to listen to you.


There is probably little you can do. If you feel that you must do something, maybe you can leave literature around for gambler's anonymous laying around.
post #12 of 12
While your intentions are good, I think its beyond a non-professional's help. If this guy is seriosly betting money he doesn't have, he needs professional help.

All you can do is suggest to his SO that she may want to seek some serious help for him before she's out on the street. Some gamblers have to lose EVERYTHING before they wake up.

Thank God that DH and I have no desire to gamble - especially when it means your house, income, or spouse vs money/gambling. When we first met, we asked each other "do you smoke, drink, or gamble?" - both of us dealt with those things in the past marriage and saw the results.
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