How do you do it?

Today I took in a feral to be spayed that I knew was pregnant (she had put on a lot of weight recently), but when I picked her up the lady at the vet that gave her back to me was like "she was VERY VERY pregnant, you brought her JUST in time". So, now I feel guilty about the abortion, and keep thinking maybe I should have kept her here until she had the kittens.

Last week we brought in 2 cats and one of them had massive tapeworms. I know they treated her for the worms, but that only kills adult tapeworms so within a few weeks the larvae will hatch and she'll have tapeworm again.

I know that I'm helping them avoid disease, pregnancy, injury, etc., but I am starting to feel guilty anyway. How do you help all these feral cats and not worry yourself sick about them, or feel guilty all the time?

You just do what has to be done. That vet should have just kept his fat yap shut and been done with it. I am sorry that happened and that you feel guilty about it.

The health consequences of having the kittens could have been worse than having the abortion.

You can only do what you can do.

I have had to deal with those feelings myself three times this season already. I just remind myself of last year when I started rescuing. The feral momma would bring the kittens out of hiding when they were old enough to eat with the rest of them, but it would be too late for them. We rescued kittens in the process of dying from flea anemia and infections. We rushed every kitten that year to the vet and that is where they died. The less born, the less to suffer.

I have tried giving medications in food before in an effort to slow the spread of URI. You really can only do so much. Take comfort in knowing that they are better because of anything we do for them, small or large.

I am just starting out like you and already my heart breaks. I agree the vet was a little insensitive. I am not a fan of the abortion thing but I visited a shelter where I am going to volunteer and saw so many babies in cages. So many adult cats needing a home. Then it sinks in. Until we can solve some of the issues facing unwanted cats, ferals and strays we should take steps to not bring anymore into this world.
Another POV is that all of those adult cats in cages were cute kittens once and somehow they ended up in a shelter.
Bless you for caring.