Greetings,
I know that there have been a number of posts about cat people thinking of clever ways to get their stupid cats to shut up at 5:00 in the morning, but I'm at my wits end. My wife has two cats. We got the female first, and she seems to, at best, tolerate the younger male cat. We aren't really sure of their age becasue we rescued them from cat prison, but both are under three years old and the female is about a year older. The female beats the male cat around occasionally (especially at feeding time) and hisses at him constantly. They do play together, however, and both take turns doing the stalk-pounce-attack thing that is about the only thing interesting that these animals do.
I almost like the female cat. She's quiet, polite and patient. The male cat is noisy, obnoxious and dirty. I'd bother with the cat's names, but lets all be honest here. Cats are clearly too stupid to ever learn their names. You might think your cat knows that you've named him "Tinker Bell," but you're just deluding yourself. Your cat will respond to "Hey Idiot" said in the same tone of voice as "Tinker Bell" just as readily. After realizing this we basically just call them "brown cat" and "gray cat". Or, "Fat Cat" and "Fatter Cat".
Gray cat (the stupid male cat) has now decided to start howling at the top of his lungs at 5:00 AM. He knows this fills me with hate, so by the time I get to the bedroom door, he's already run down two flights of stairs to the cat room, where the litter box and feeding area are. I'm still not sure whether the female has put him up to this, but she seems to hang out and observe. It's quite possible that the female cat is threatening the male cat with a beating if he doesn't wake me up every morning so I trudge down and feed them.
I tried spray bottles, throwing shoes and yelling, but nothing works. I'd like to get shock collar, but my wife won't let me. I also never actually beat the cat.
Lately I've taken to waking up as soon as he yells and throwing him outside, or locking him in the downstairs bathroom where we can't hear him until 7:00 AM - feeding time.
We tried leaving a bowl of food out, but those fat moochers just eat the entire bowl in the first five minutes, then throw it up, then eat the vomit and throw it up again, then eat each other's vomit, then fight over the vomit -- at this point its so disgusting that I throw up.
We have a new baby so there is no time to play with the damn cat every night to tire him out. I'd like to lock him in the cat room at night, but that isn't fair to the female cat - who would have to be locked in with him so she doesn't take a dump on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night.
I just need some concrete suggestions before I strangle the cat.
(that's sarcasm for all you SPA people, BTW).
We can't do things like run a vaccum cleaner becasue of the new baby. I'd really like to get that shock collar - with my own personal remote control.
Meow! Meow! ZAP!
Please help,
Owner of Gray Cat.
I know that there have been a number of posts about cat people thinking of clever ways to get their stupid cats to shut up at 5:00 in the morning, but I'm at my wits end. My wife has two cats. We got the female first, and she seems to, at best, tolerate the younger male cat. We aren't really sure of their age becasue we rescued them from cat prison, but both are under three years old and the female is about a year older. The female beats the male cat around occasionally (especially at feeding time) and hisses at him constantly. They do play together, however, and both take turns doing the stalk-pounce-attack thing that is about the only thing interesting that these animals do.
I almost like the female cat. She's quiet, polite and patient. The male cat is noisy, obnoxious and dirty. I'd bother with the cat's names, but lets all be honest here. Cats are clearly too stupid to ever learn their names. You might think your cat knows that you've named him "Tinker Bell," but you're just deluding yourself. Your cat will respond to "Hey Idiot" said in the same tone of voice as "Tinker Bell" just as readily. After realizing this we basically just call them "brown cat" and "gray cat". Or, "Fat Cat" and "Fatter Cat".
Gray cat (the stupid male cat) has now decided to start howling at the top of his lungs at 5:00 AM. He knows this fills me with hate, so by the time I get to the bedroom door, he's already run down two flights of stairs to the cat room, where the litter box and feeding area are. I'm still not sure whether the female has put him up to this, but she seems to hang out and observe. It's quite possible that the female cat is threatening the male cat with a beating if he doesn't wake me up every morning so I trudge down and feed them.
I tried spray bottles, throwing shoes and yelling, but nothing works. I'd like to get shock collar, but my wife won't let me. I also never actually beat the cat.
Lately I've taken to waking up as soon as he yells and throwing him outside, or locking him in the downstairs bathroom where we can't hear him until 7:00 AM - feeding time.
We tried leaving a bowl of food out, but those fat moochers just eat the entire bowl in the first five minutes, then throw it up, then eat the vomit and throw it up again, then eat each other's vomit, then fight over the vomit -- at this point its so disgusting that I throw up.
We have a new baby so there is no time to play with the damn cat every night to tire him out. I'd like to lock him in the cat room at night, but that isn't fair to the female cat - who would have to be locked in with him so she doesn't take a dump on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night.
I just need some concrete suggestions before I strangle the cat.
We can't do things like run a vaccum cleaner becasue of the new baby. I'd really like to get that shock collar - with my own personal remote control.
Meow! Meow! ZAP!
Please help,
Owner of Gray Cat.
