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Am I being unreasonable?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
John is trying to sell a motorcycle and he had a lady interested in it. She was supposed to come out on Saturday but called and said she had a bad stomach virus but would come out as soon as she could. I am completely terrified of stomach viruses, and I asked John to not let her come out here until at least next weekend... just in case she was still contagious. He arrived home this evening with her car right behind him. I'm not willing to take any chances of getting a stomach virus just because he couldn't wait a few more days to show her the motorcycle. So, I banished him from the bedroom and I'm going to stay my distance from him until I'm sure he didn't pick anything up from her. He knows how I feel about being sick, he knows how scared I get, I don't think it would have been that awful for him to have waited just a few more days.

I know I'm crazy, but I am seriously terrified of stomach viruses. To the point that in the past I've avoided eating for several days in a row after I've been exposed to a virus. I realize it's not good but I can't help it. I REALLY can't handle being sick. So how unreasonable am I being not letting him back in the bedroom for a few days?
post #2 of 12
It sounds like you've developed a bit of a phobia - and unfortunately one that most people cannot comprehend easily.

He does have somewhere else to sleep in the house, doesn't he? Technically since you asked him and he didn't listen, he's sort of getting what he deserves.
Though, and I know this won't be helpful to you, if he picks up a virus anything he touches could have that virus on it. So kicking him out of the bedroom to prevent yourself from getting sick won't help.
Besides, how do you know the woman actually had a virus? Food poisoning is common, or maybe it was just an excuse that sounded plausible so she wouldn't have to come out that day?
post #3 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
It sounds like you've developed a bit of a phobia - and unfortunately one that most people cannot comprehend easily.

He does have somewhere else to sleep in the house, doesn't he? Technically since you asked him and he didn't listen, he's sort of getting what he deserves.
Though, and I know this won't be helpful to you, if he picks up a virus anything he touches could have that virus on it. So kicking him out of the bedroom to prevent yourself from getting sick won't help.
Besides, how do you know the woman actually had a virus? Food poisoning is common, or maybe it was just an excuse that sounded plausible so she wouldn't have to come out that day?
He can sleep on the couch for a few nights, it won't kill him . And I know everything he touches could have the virus. Luckily, our bedroom is in the basement. I can pretty much just stay down here for a few days, I don't have to go upstairs for much really. And if I do need to go upstairs, I wash my hands constantly anyway so I'm not too worried about that, I just don't want him in our bedroom or anywhere near me.

And no, I don't know for sure if the woman did actually have a virus. But I'm so scared I'm not willing to take that chance.
post #4 of 12
I think you have a better change of getting germs that will make you sick from the handle of your shopping cart or the keyboard on which you wrote this message!!
post #5 of 12
^^But those are her germs. Phobias or OCD behaviors don't have to make sense.

The couch won't be so bad, but I'd be more concerned how much it might upset him if he tries to give you a hug or kiss and you back away or something - a real blow there. Being a guy he may think you're actually rejecting him somehow...

Is it just worry of getting stomach viruses that bother you or any virus/bacteria/ germs in general? While some take meds and consoling for it, maybe the best thing is to make sure he fully understands. Does he have any phobias? If so, ask how they make him feel and use that in explaining it to him if he gets grumpy over this recent issue.

I have a more acceptable phobia, fear of heights and can understand how hard it must be to face that worry/fear when you can't control it. Mine can be silly sometimes, can't go up a stepladder, can't be near railing on even a second story, can't stand near windows, I shake horribly on steep stairs, and get a horrible feeling of vertigo if I ever make the mistake of looking down. I was all shaky in shop the other day because I got too close to the railing and could see the floor below out of the corner of my eye. It's crazy.
post #6 of 12
Sounds a little unreasonable to me - unless she passed on body fluids to him somehow AND she was still contagious, he's not likely to get sick, and neither are you. You're more likely to get sick many other ways.

Maybe you need to find a way to confront your fears?
post #7 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marine View Post
I think you have a better change of getting germs that will make you sick from the handle of your shopping cart or the keyboard on which you wrote this message!!

yep.

Also, she said she had a stomach "virus", most people who claim that actually are sick from food cross contamination, not an actual virus. And there is no such thing as a "stomach flu"
post #8 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
yep.

Also, she said she had a stomach "virus", most people who claim that actually are sick from food cross contamination, not an actual virus. And there is no such thing as a "stomach flu"
I've heard that, too but you beat me to it.
post #9 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by bnwalker2 View Post
John is trying to sell a motorcycle and he had a lady interested in it. She was supposed to come out on Saturday but called and said she had a bad stomach virus but would come out as soon as she could. I am completely terrified of stomach viruses, and I asked John to not let her come out here until at least next weekend... just in case she was still contagious. He arrived home this evening with her car right behind him. I'm not willing to take any chances of getting a stomach virus just because he couldn't wait a few more days to show her the motorcycle. So, I banished him from the bedroom and I'm going to stay my distance from him until I'm sure he didn't pick anything up from her. He knows how I feel about being sick, he knows how scared I get, I don't think it would have been that awful for him to have waited just a few more days.

I know I'm crazy, but I am seriously terrified of stomach viruses. To the point that in the past I've avoided eating for several days in a row after I've been exposed to a virus. I realize it's not good but I can't help it. I REALLY can't handle being sick. So how unreasonable am I being not letting him back in the bedroom for a few days?

lol just a little overboard. ok alot overboard.
people are exposed to way more then that, every day in the work place.
post #10 of 12
I want to add that it's not what you know that you need to be afraid of, it's what you don't know, which is why we have "universal precautions" at work when it comes to dealing with body fluids.

If someone has TB you know that you should be wearing a mask when you care for that person so you don't catch it. However, if you don't know that Mrs. Jones down the hall has TB, you aren't going to be inclined to wear a mask when in her room.

And as already said above, you have no idea what illnesses your husband's co-workers or anyone else that he or you come into contact with every single day have, yet you don't resign your husband to the couch.

You can't live your life in a glass bubble

Just do proper hand washing. That's the best and most effective way to prevent contracting an illness. Between washing your hands and keeping your hands away from your eyes, nose and mouth (IE: mucous membranes), the chances of you getting ill from any type of common illness is miniscual.
post #11 of 12
I think that John should have respected Britney's wishes, when she asked him not to bring the woman home till she felt safe about the situation..

Whether or not the woman was actually really sick isn't the issue, IMO. Phobias are a very scary thing to have, and I think John should have waited till Britney's fear was under control. She obviously has a reason for having the phobia in the first place. Those things don't just come out of nowhere.

~KK~
post #12 of 12
aww honey bless your heart. I went through the EXACT same thing... colds? fine. infections? fine. Stomach virus? NO NO NO NO and NOOOOOO. I went through it from 4th grade when i got food poisening until 8th grade when i finally beat it. It gave me OCD, constantly washing my hands. wouldnt go NEAR anyone sick. it was difficult when you had to be in school with sick kids.
I can give you no advice, its something no one can tell you to get over. Trust me... i have horror stories. The only thing i can tell you is that you have to decide to get over it.
I used to not eat anything that touched my fingers... ide eat frenchfries and put down the bits that my fingers were on. And one day i got SOOOOO tired of hateing life because of this... that i was eating potato chips and i ate the whole thing! Then feeling this burst of confidence that i didnt vomit at that very moment? I licked the counter

You can get over it, i would love to talk to you about it if you need to. I know exactly what you are going through
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