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How Foster Kitties Make Failures of Foster Moms

post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 
As many of you already know, we’re “fostering” a kitten that I found out in the Pike National Forest. Look What I Found I am trying not to call her by name because I am trying really hard not to get too attached. She’s making that difficult. Not only is she cute as all get-out, she sweeter than pie too. So for a little kitten, I think she has a master plan:

Step 1: Determine lady who took me home is my new Meowmy. Show her this by wanting to be in her lap or in her arms at all times when she’s in the same room. Roll over so she holds me like a baby, and show her my cute little kitten tummy. Nuzzle into her neck when I get on her shoulder. Totally relax when she’s holding me so I become floppy kitty. Give licky kiss on the nose. Cry when she’s not petting me. Ignore all toys because I would much rather be loved than play.

Step 2: Get the big guy on my side. Snuggle him and love him like I do with the lady.

Step 3: Give big kitty attitude at first so those other kitties know not to mess with my FOOD. But as long as they aren’t eyeing my food, I’ll be OK with them. For some reason they just get curious when they hear me on the other side of the door.

Seriously, this little girl is trying really hard to grab my heart and not let go. Earl even said that if we didn’t already have 4 she would be staying. I really hope there’s an opening at the no-kill shelter whose clinic we’re taking her to for spaying and general check up tomorrow. The longer she stays the harder it will be to let her go.

So two questions…how did the former fosters make failures out of you? Or on the flip side, how did you stop yourself from keeping the little lovebugs???
post #2 of 31
Damita & Dorian had me at hello. Damita because she was always so sick & the shelter couldn't afford her vet care. Dorian was just part of the "package deal". Molly because she was going to be sent to a farm. Squishy, well he was never really a "foster", but nobody else wants him so he'll be a farm kitty here rather than being euthanized.

Jade was a holy terror, I was glad to see her go!
PJ & Punky, if a TCS'er wasn't taking them they wouldn't be going anywhere.
I will be glad when Bea is gone, she is a royal pain in the
Those little kittens, Classy will be very hard to let go, she needs an extra special home. I'll be checking the applications on them & won't just let her go 'anywhere'.
post #3 of 31
What about the neighbour who was considering maybe taking Morgan? Is he still interested in a kitty?

We have 3 cats - 2 failed fosters, so don't ask me! And Lily who is my only actual "adoptee" was adopted as a friend for Stumpy. I'd be ok now because 3 cats is the limit in the city, and because I volunteer at the shelter they know I'm at my maximum allowed, so I couldn't possibly keep any more fosters!
post #4 of 31
Thread Starter 
Oh geez...just got a message from Earl...

"Damn she's a cutie!"

She gave him licky kisses on the nose and lips.

This girl is workin' it!

Now she just has to work it with the other cats...I think if she and Ophelia are OK with each other, or better yet if they become friends....
post #5 of 31
Uh-oh! She sounds like Smudge when she was a baby - and you know what happened there!!!!
post #6 of 31
Just have Earl tell her that she'd better figure Ophelia into her master plan. Let her know that if she wins Ophelia's OK.....

1) Lazlo was going to just be a foster, because I'm allergic to cats.
2) Sheldon was a pal for him, because we figured out how to control the allergies.
3) Munchkin was cute and loved the other kitties - but she didn't love us, so it wasn't completely heart-breaking to let her go. (She LOVES being an alone totally spoiled kitty, however! ).
4) Spooky was abused by people we adopted her to, so there was no question she was staying.
5) Tuxedo bonded to Gary, and we weren't even going to adopt him out.
6) Magic was cute and sweet - but there just wasn't that bond between us, and a neighbor that lost a black kitty to cancer wanted him. But those blue eyes were so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7) Thanksgiving was SO cute, but with Magic, we couldn't even foster her, so she was fostered by the lady with the boarding facility, who also found a wonderful meowmy for her.
8) MaeMae was adorable, sweet and cute - but the older she got, the more energy she had - and we were in the RV, so we really just could NOT keep her. Adopting her to someone from TCS helped.
9) Flowerbelle was going to be just a foster - but her medical problems prevented that. The fact that she curled up in Gary's arms and stayed there for a few months, purring every waking moment had NOTHING to do with it.
10) Jenny was absolutely adorable - but thankfully a vet tech at our animal hospital fell in love with her. *phew*
11) Muffinman and BooBoo HAD to go as a pair, and keeping 7 kitties in the RV was absolutely out of the question. Muffinman treated Gary like a jungle gym, was black and white, and had a "hitler" mustache that was insanely adorable - but the timing of getting them to the vet when a grieving couple wanted two kitties was meant to be.
12) Ming Loy with her disability needed too much special care as a kitten, and we were in a small house, not the RV, so six was OK.

So other than Laz and Shel, the "foster failures" were due to bonding, special needs, or a responsibility to the kitties that we felt.

My heart really goes out to you. I found it SO difficult to foster and let them go. I was relieved in a really weird way when Tuxedo got so ill we really had to stop fostering.

Annie sounds like one of those heart-twisting situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

post #7 of 31
It is very difficult to let them go! Out of the cats we have now:

Leo - we took in him and his siblings to find homes for them but he was so tiny and sick for so long that we ended up falling in love and keeping him.

Tabitha - we adopted her, with intentions of keeping her.

Spooky Bear - because of his "issues", he would not have been able to be adopted by anyone else.

Spike - we adopted him with intentions of keeping him.

Captain Squishy - was supposed to be a foster but John fell in love with him the day he arrived here at 4 days old and claimed him.

Garfield - already had a home lined up for him when he was old enough, but when it was time to let him go we couldn't!

Woodward - we planned on keeping him right away.

Taco - he also already had a home lined up but then was diagnosed with Feline Herpes and the new owner didn't want a "special needs" cat... we tried to find another home for him but then realized we couldn't give him up anyway.

Lilly - she was a keeper from the day we found her.

Orion - Since my kitty Woody passed away in 2005, I have wanted another shorthaired orange and white kitty. As soon as Orion was born I knew I was keeping him.

Rufus - he was another one that John picked the second he saw him.

There have been so many other fosters that we would have loved to keep, but if we would have kept more we wouldn't e able to foster anymore.
post #8 of 31
Originally Posted by valanhb View Post
Oh geez...just got a message from Earl...

"Damn she's a cutie!"

She gave him licky kisses on the nose and lips.
That's how Chynna won me over when I found her. Lots of purrs and nose kisses!

So all I have to say is....

Congratulations! It's a girl!!
post #9 of 31
That little girl sure knows how to turn on the charm.

Seriously, I've had a string of adorable, sweet foster kitties starting with your Ginger Cookie, Heidi. It's been tempting to keep each of them, but I've just had to keep reminding myself that four permanent kitties is my limit and that if I'd add a fifth I won't have the space or resources to foster any more. For me, being able to foster occasionally has priority over adopting another, no matter how cute and charming the kitty in question may be.

Whatever you decide, we'll support you. If you end up keeping Annie, then she's a very lucky little girl. If not, then she'll make someone else very happy.
post #10 of 31
i havnt failed yet... but ive only had two batches... this third batch? oh this is going to be hard! the last ones werent cuddlers... these ones definetly are
post #11 of 31
Thread Starter 
I think part of the reason why this one is so hard is that I actually rescued her. Eileen probably knows this feeling well. (I only use her as an example because I know many of her rescue/foster stories.) I know she wouldn't be here, alive, if I and the guys at the match hadn't stepped up and done this for her.

As with Mojo, we're kinda going to let fate decide. Well, fate and Ophelia. IF the shelter has space for her, she goes there. We know they screen well and she'll get a great home there. IF they don't, we'll bring her here and let her recover from her spay, and probably attempt slow intros and see how our crew does with her and how she does with them. IF (and this is a BIG IF) Ophelia gets along with her, as well as Trent, Ginger and Mojo, then we'll consider it. So we'll see how it goes...

But I will say this...Earl said tonight that if they do have a spot for her, he would really miss her. Awwww. She's really good at wrapping her little self around our hearts!
post #12 of 31
Originally Posted by valanhb View Post
Earl said tonight that if they do have a spot for her, he would really miss her. Awwww. She's really good at wrapping her little self around our hearts!
She's a keeper! She loves you and your DH, and you both love her. She's adopted you
post #13 of 31
Originally Posted by valanhb View Post

So two questions…how did the former fosters make failures out of you? Or on the flip side, how did you stop yourself from keeping the little
Am a total foster failure...
post #14 of 31
Keep her! Keep her! Keep her! Whats the difference between four and five? Not much. Besides you found her and she clearly wants to keep you! Keep her!!! I'm very jealous!
post #15 of 31
Ophelia may be at the point where she does a and decides they're at it again.

Mojo may be the problem child. Lucy has had a terrible time with Carly, but Much just ignores them both.
post #16 of 31
Originally Posted by joyzerelly View Post
Keep her! Keep her! Keep her! Whats the difference between four and five? Not much. Besides you found her and she clearly wants to keep you! Keep her!!! I'm very jealous!

Since I believe in Divine Intervention and angels, IMO, she and you crossing paths isn't just a simple coincidence....so either the same Divine Intervention will send a forever meowmmy (possibly someone who has to PTS their current kitty) or.....LWIF has a good guardian angel who showed her the way to her true home
post #17 of 31
If you ever find out, please tell me, because I have 3 orphaned kittens at home and I don't know how I will be able to let them go. They are the cutest thing on heart and they love to gently grab my face with their paws (as if to say "come here") and lick my nose and lips. And they are real purring machines as soon as I touch them...and I couldn't help giving them names since I've had them for weeks (from the moment they were 2 weeks old to now...they are 9 weeks old). When I think about how fast the time will come for me to let them go, I can't help but cry. It happens more and more often as I get even more attached to them and as the time goes by. So, please, if you are ever able to let her go, just tell me how you did.
post #18 of 31
Did she see the vet today?
She sounds like a sweetie pie Heidi.
post #19 of 31
Thread Starter 
You wanna talk about Divine Intervention... This little one definitely has a Guardian Angel watching over her. We just had a cold front move through the state in the last 36 hours. I work with a man who lives about 1/2 way between Denver and where I was - I was much higher in elevation than his house where we found her. Anywhoo, my coworker said that at his house, they got 7" of snow yesterday. Reports from elevations close to where Annie was at are between 8-12". It's a good thing we had a match up there on Mother's Day!
post #20 of 31
She would have frozen to death.

Thank heavens she is safe with you now.
post #21 of 31
See, Heidi? It's meant to be....
post #22 of 31
Good luck with your decision - I personally have only kept 2 out of over 50 fosters, the first one was about my 18th cat, and we didn't think she had long left, so I allowed myself to get attached thinking she only had a few months, so might as well have as much love as she could - 2.5 years later, she is still here, happy and healthy!! The second was another 13yo who hated humans so i didn't think it was fair to rehome her. One of my fosters was here 14 months, and i could still let him go (mind you, he did spray cos of the other cats, so in one way it was a good thing!!). I Do have 2 long term fosters at the moment, who will live their life out here, but not through my choice, one is cos the rescue she is from doesn't feel they can rehome a 17yo (I personally wouldn't have picked her, there isn't that bond between us, but she is here for life), and the other is a 15yo with CRF, so the rescue dont want to home her, and the vets have agreed.
post #23 of 31
We are going to become foster parents to cats. My daughter is wonderful with Saffron and our other cats. She filled out her own application to volunteer at the shelter so we decided to foster. We have the room so our next venture is to either foster our strays in our yard.
Or do some from the shelter. My fear is ending up with 30 cats that I can't let go.

But still, keep this one. This is kismet. What's one more lovable around? However she could also be meant for someone you find worthy of her.
post #24 of 31
So far I have managed to let go of my fosters, but it is hard! I know that one of these days one will come along that I can't let go of. I actually feel worse for Riley because he loves all his kitties and gets depressed when we don't have one for a week or two.
post #25 of 31
Gracie was my foster failure. She was six weeks old and I was only supposed to keep her long enough for her to gain one pound. Well... now it's 4 years later and she's gained about 15 pounds. Tell me how to make it stop!!!!

How she won me over... For starters, I named her. Big mistake. And she got along as well as could possibly be expected with my other cats. And probably my biggest downfall for me... she was mouthy. He liked to gnaw on people. She never bit hard. She never broke skin. She never meant it maliciously. But she likes to chew on hands. Then lick, then chew a little more. We joke that she shows her love with teeth. But knowing that the shelter I was fostering her for was a kill shelter with no tolerance for biting, I was afraid that no one else would put up with her bizarre little quirks. I couldn't bear the thought of her being PTS, so she's ours.

She's my personal space heater at night, and my alarm clock in the morning. And I'm so glad she's mine.
post #26 of 31
Firefox is my foster failure altho i wasn't fostering her for any particular shelter... just couldn't bear how sick she was - so i took her in & nursed her back to health.
never have found a home for her, altho i have tried!
post #27 of 31
How are the intros going?
post #28 of 31
These are touching stories.
Sometimes that one cat tugs at your heart and then you are done for.
post #29 of 31
For the record......its not just fosters who make failures of you......one of the biggest reasons that we got out of the breeding business was because it got to the point where I cried every time one of my babies went to a new home.......and at that point I had my original breeder pair, one cat who was payment for stud service, and two kittens that I just couldn't part with.....if we'd kept breeding, I'd probably have either a hundred kitties or have had a nervous breakdown, lol!
post #30 of 31
I have a limit of 6 in the household. There is always an exception for a very special one.

Maybe your kitty and you were meant to be together
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