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Oh No.....

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
This is really terrible. I just found out that my 38 year old cousin, Dan died last night. He and his wife Lisa (and their 2 young daughters) spent the entire day together just hanging out.

Later that evening, Dan went to the grocery store to pick up a few things, chatted with a friend, then right when he turned to leave the store....he JUST dropped to the floor.

CPR was administered immediately by his friend, who happened to be an EMT. We still have no explanation of his death yet.

This man was a perfectly healthy police officer/husband/dad. He worked out regularly....did not smoke, drink. I am still shocked. Worse yet, Lisa just buried her father 6 months ago.

You've heard people say, "Life is short" or "Appreciate each day as if it was your last." It seems the older I get, the more I understand just how true those words really are.

post #2 of 26
OMG, Kim, I am sooooo sorry.

I'll be praying for you and your family
post #3 of 26
That is so sad to hear Kim and you are right, life is very short.
post #4 of 26
Thread Starter 
Thanks Mary Anne and Colby - Heck, I am fine - it's my cousin Lisa that I am worried about.

It's situations like this that remind me not to complain or whine or waste precious time....I just can't get over how young Dan was.

It's a lot to think about.....

post #5 of 26
Kim, that's awful. I'm so sorry.

It'll be rough for his wife, at first. Hopefully, she's got a good support system.
post #6 of 26
Im so sorry to hear that. It has to be a real hard shock when its unexpected like that.
post #7 of 26
That is very sad Kym, so sorry. What a dreadful shock for his family.
Really makes you think about life and the ones you love.

A 40 year old friend of mine (similar situation) just had too high cholestrol. He died instantly, leaving behind a one & 1/2 year old and a very pregnant wife. He did pass quickly though and not linger in agony for a long time. His family was greatful for that. Still doesn't make it any easier to bear.
post #8 of 26
Sending my condolences, Kim. Hope all is well with Lisa.

My second brother died of bone cancer on April, 19th, 2001, and he was only in his thirties, leaving behind a young wife and a daughter.

i have since realized that when it is time, one can't fight it.

Hopefully, all of us will live a meaningful life!

Take care, Kim! Take care, Lisa!
post #9 of 26
kim, my condolences to you and your family...
post #10 of 26
Kim, I'm so sorry to hear of this. Heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
post #11 of 26
I am so sorry to hear this.
post #12 of 26
Kim: I am so sorry this happened. It doesn't seem fair that anyone dies like this, and then the people who work really hard at their health to try and avoid an early death. I hope you guys are at least able to come to some conclusion as to what happened to him.
post #13 of 26
Oh Kim, I am SO sorry to hear this!!!!! He was only a year older than me! That is so scary!!!! You are right that we need to really appreciate life while we have it!!! My prayers are going up for Lisa tonight. *HUGS**
post #14 of 26
Kim, I'm so sorry! I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. I hope his wife and kids have lots of people close to them to help them through this. Life seems too short, sometimes.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Dream as if you were to live forever." -Gandhi
post #15 of 26
Kim, I'm so sorry about your cousin!!! It's scary when someone so young dies so suddenly!!
post #16 of 26
Thread Starter 
You guys are so cool! I appreciate your condolences and when Lisa is in a better state of mind, I will share this with her what wonderful thoughts and prayers came her way today.

They told us that Dan died of an aneurism—that was my suspicion at his young age.

Dan's viewing is tomorrow and his funeral is the following day. I hate viewings... they haunt my memories in a negative way (maybe I am weird) I am planning to attend the funeral, of course. My mother is prodding me to attend the viewing, though. I can't seem to make her understand how they upset me. Am I wrong to not go?

Anyway, thank you all again for your warm thoughts and prayers. I hope this post wasn't too depressing. I posted my thoughts today only because it brings to light, a sobering fact about life—how precious every minute of time is. Thanks for allowing me to think out loud.

post #17 of 26
I am so sorry to hear such sad news.

I don't like viewings either. I prefer to remember the person as they were. There was a viewing for my grandma, but not my grandpa (different sides of my family). The result is that I remember my grandpa alive and sassy.

I'm sure your cousin's wife would understand you not going. She knows you are thinking about her and her children.
post #18 of 26
I didn't go to the viewing OR the funerals, of my grandparents. My mother had a tendency to overdo everything - its her "what will people think" fixation. I remember Granny as that little woman, making chicken and dumplings for me, when I was pregnant and my grandfather, taking me out to diner, every year, on our shared birthday.

When Russ died, we didn't even hold a funeral. We had a party, at the bar, where he played honky-tonk piano. We sent him off, the way he lived - with music and laughs. Some people wouldn't understand that but, it was a great party and Russ would have loved it.

What I'm trying to say is - do what feels right for you.
post #19 of 26
I agree with katl8e My grandmother died last month I did go to the funeral,but got there late,planed that way,there were so many family there I stood at the back of the room,never did view the body!I remember her strong & healthy.Do what you have to do,don;t let anyone sway you. You and your family have all my prayers.
post #20 of 26
Kim, I know I'm chiming in a bit late...but I wanted you to know that you & your family are in my thoughts and my prayers. It's so hard to lose a loved one, but it's even harder when it's unexpected. It was nice to hear that his final few hours were spent with his family.
post #21 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quoting my son at his grandad's funeral...."Grandad never wore rouge!"
I am so glad you understand my feelings on viewings .....

post #22 of 26
Viewings are tough. When Mike's older brother passed away a few years ago they had a viewing. I went to support Mike, but when I looked in, it looked like Mike laying there, he and Del look a lot alike. I had trouble sleeping after that.
post #23 of 26
People always say, "Doesn't he/she look natural?" HOW natural can you look, laying dead in a box?
post #24 of 26
Kim - I'm so sorry for you and you family that this awful thing has happened - and sorry the message is late, I've only just got to this thread.

I have to agree with the viewing thing. I visited my father's body at the funeral parlour, and wish wholeheartedly now I hadn't as although I realized it was just a shell I was seeing, it wasn't the shell as I remember it. He looked so small and lonely.

I wasn't forced to go, but felt I needed to say goodbye one final time - we were very close.

Kim, what I'm trying to say is I'm sure Lisa will understand if you don't go, as we all have different ways of dealing with loss and it is not a sign of disrespect to her or Dan if you stay away.
post #25 of 26
Oh no!!

I am so sorry to hear it..
post #26 of 26
Kim - I am so sorry to hear that! I will keep his family in my prayers!
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