ok you are kidding right? Sure women are built for this, but babies are getting bigger and bigger these days and yes, it
hurts! Good grief, if men could have babies, the human race would have died out a long time ago! What about those poor women who have to have a c-section? You can't tell me that's natural - we were designed to be cut to ribbons? Nah-ah. Women take those 6 months because they are crucial in a) letting your body recover and fall back into it's normal place (yes, everything gets squished around into all the wrong places, and we're not made of rubber) and b) forming those all-important bonds with your child.
And anyway, I'm not cruel enough to want a man to go back to work at noon if he's sick or in pain - I practically have to hold my man back last time he got sick.
He was sooooo ill and he could hardly move without feeling dizzy or nauseous and he was still determined to go to work! How many other men are the same?
If he'd had a baby
then I would have kept him home for a lot longer than 6 months! I bet if you'd gone through that you'd want 6 months off too, right?
but seriously, just a comforting hand would be nice - it's a tough thing to go through. Being pregnant is draining on your body and your mental state, certainly towards the end where your back hurts all the time, you can't breathe properly or eat properly because everything is squished up, your feet and ankles swell, your sleep is completely disrupted because every time you want to sleep baby wakes up and starts playing bongos on all your internal organs. Not to mention the cravings! And of course there are a number of foods they say that you shoudln't eat when you're pregnant (Although I have to admit to ignoring this rule, because my body knows best and if my body says I need sweet and sour pot-noodles, then that's what it's gunna get!)
I don't think men really understand how tough it can get - I think they're mostly focussed on the pain of the birth itself and that that's the only thing to worry over. At least after the birth you can share in the joys of late night feedings and changing diapers. The last three months before that can be a real drag!
I think the closest i could get to explaining it to a man would be:
You suddenly weigh twice as much as you normally do
You're in a hot car on a long journey and you have no air-conditioning
You stop at a restaurant and have your favourite food sitting in front of you, but your hands chained behind your back (which, incidentally, aches like the blazes) because you're not allowed to eat it. But everyone else on the road with you can.
You can't see (or feel) your own feet
And when you get to the end of the road, you know you're going to be squeezed in the crusher along with the car for more than just a few hours. And trust me, that feels like eternity.
And when you can't take any more and you can't go on at all and you have no strength left in you whatsoever - some stranger seeing you in all your fat, naked glory screams at you to try again - while the one person you were counting on to help you get out of this mess, is about as much use to you as a chocolate teapot.
Feel better now? Aren't you glad you're men.