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Uh, ok...

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
.... so antenatal classes might be a bit boring for the husbands. Sure, they are support people and need to be there and so they need to know, but still, all the nitty gritty bits are not really relevant to them.

Still, would this excuse your husband if he came with you to an antenatal class and then spent the entire class READING A BOOK?????

Yes, that's right. This guy read a book the WHOLE class. In fact, even had to angle it more carefully when the lights went off for the video so he could still see the pages. The midwife after a while said to him, `So, Gary, any questions?'. He looked up, said `Nope' and went back to his story!

post #2 of 29
hmm i can see me doing the same thing.

hmm, it could have been worse.
he could have taken sony psp or nintendo ds with him.
post #3 of 29
Thread Starter 
LOL! Or, he could have just stayed home and cooked her dinner. That would have been far more supportive, IMO.
post #4 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva! View Post
LOL! Or, he could have just stayed home and cooked her dinner. That would have been far more supportive, IMO.
that would have been my first choice.
mins the cooking part, how about pizza instead.
post #5 of 29
Thread Starter 
That would be fine! If you order it, pay for it and pick it up, and I don't have to cook or do anything - perfect!
post #6 of 29
That was utterly disrespectful to his wife, the instructor, and the other attendees. He should have stayed at home. The jerk.
post #7 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by clixpix View Post
. He should have stayed at home.
yep i agree. leave us at home

but i do understand why she is upset.
post #8 of 29
My sister had a very short labour, they had enough time to get up and dressed and drive to the hospital, her son was born very soon after they arrived. Her partner was annoyed at all the time wasted in those classes when he didn't get to use any of it
post #9 of 29
Thread Starter 
I just don't get why the fellas think they don't need to be involved in the process. They are, after all, the father of the child. Gonna be raising it, be involved with it, were at least half responsible for conceiving it. Why is the bit in between conception and birth only the woman's responsibility?? Being pregnant is no picnic, let me tell you, and labour and delivery are hardly a ballgame.
post #10 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by missymotus View Post
My sister had a very short labour, they had enough time to get up and dressed and drive to the hospital, her son was born very soon after they arrived. Her partner was annoyed at all the time wasted in those classes when he didn't get to use any of it
LOL! I would be too!
post #11 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva! View Post
I just don't get why the fellas think they don't need to be involved in the process. They are, after all, the father of the child. Gonna be raising it, be involved with it, were at least half responsible for conceiving it. Why is the bit in between conception and birth only the woman's responsibility?? Being pregnant is no picnic, let me tell you, and labour and delivery are hardly a ballgame.
cause well, we did all the hard work to start with.
I mean really you dont think we had fun in the process of getting the lady that way do you? sex is hard work.

so we are involved in the process. he helped make it.
then for 9 months we hear the "its your fault you made me fat" "its your fault my back hurts" " i hate you" .
and we just sit there and go yes dear, i am sorry dear, i love you dear.
oh yea i forgot. do not forget the middle of the night, honey could you get me some icecream with ketchup craving we support . hehe.

so you see your trip out of the house is just peace and quiet for us guys.

dont worry we will be there to catch it if the doc drops it.
what else do we need to know?







PS( i am kidding about parts of this )

oh yea, i said i would go buy the pizza so dinner would be ready
post #12 of 29
Thread Starter 
Lol! I love the way you are only kidding about `parts' of it.

I am not like this. Max is a lucky man. He has said that he is going to buy black market oestrogen when it's over and keep putting in my food so my happy and placid mood lasts forever. He could trip me down the stairs and I'd think it was funny and endearing.

And the only craving I have had pretty much the whole time is for apples. They're easy. Oh yeah, and for about four days, cow's milk. My goodness I drank so much of it in four days I'm surprised I didn't turn into a lump of calcium.

So I'm a low-maintenance pregnant woman. Max even calls me tubby and gets away with it.
post #13 of 29
I would have loved for my partner to have been of some use to me during labour!! He attended the antenatal classes with me, but I swear his head wasn't there. When it came to giving birth, he sat in the corner of the room like a hopeless lump. Just someone to take my hand and tell me I was doing ok would have been nice every once in a while. It's a painful thing to go through - And they want us to be there for them when they get sick, or they're in pain.....
post #14 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat View Post
I would have loved for my partner to have been of some use to me during labour!! He attended the antenatal classes with me, but I swear his head wasn't there. When it came to giving birth, he sat in the corner of the room like a hopeless lump. Just someone to take my hand and tell me I was doing ok would have been nice every once in a while. It's a painful thing to go through - And they want us to be there for them when they get sick, or they're in pain.....
men need reminding that squeezing a baby out is the equivelant of them squeezing out a tennis ball from the eye of there penis
post #15 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by pixietina View Post
men need reminding that squeezing a baby out is the equivelant of them squeezing out a tennis ball from the eye of there penis
female propaganda, yours is made to expand.
if men had the babies, they would expect us back at work in the after noon.
no 6 months off.
post #16 of 29
ok you are kidding right? Sure women are built for this, but babies are getting bigger and bigger these days and yes, it hurts! Good grief, if men could have babies, the human race would have died out a long time ago! What about those poor women who have to have a c-section? You can't tell me that's natural - we were designed to be cut to ribbons? Nah-ah. Women take those 6 months because they are crucial in a) letting your body recover and fall back into it's normal place (yes, everything gets squished around into all the wrong places, and we're not made of rubber) and b) forming those all-important bonds with your child.

And anyway, I'm not cruel enough to want a man to go back to work at noon if he's sick or in pain - I practically have to hold my man back last time he got sick. He was sooooo ill and he could hardly move without feeling dizzy or nauseous and he was still determined to go to work! How many other men are the same? If he'd had a baby then I would have kept him home for a lot longer than 6 months! I bet if you'd gone through that you'd want 6 months off too, right?

but seriously, just a comforting hand would be nice - it's a tough thing to go through. Being pregnant is draining on your body and your mental state, certainly towards the end where your back hurts all the time, you can't breathe properly or eat properly because everything is squished up, your feet and ankles swell, your sleep is completely disrupted because every time you want to sleep baby wakes up and starts playing bongos on all your internal organs. Not to mention the cravings! And of course there are a number of foods they say that you shoudln't eat when you're pregnant (Although I have to admit to ignoring this rule, because my body knows best and if my body says I need sweet and sour pot-noodles, then that's what it's gunna get!)

I don't think men really understand how tough it can get - I think they're mostly focussed on the pain of the birth itself and that that's the only thing to worry over. At least after the birth you can share in the joys of late night feedings and changing diapers. The last three months before that can be a real drag!

I think the closest i could get to explaining it to a man would be:

You suddenly weigh twice as much as you normally do
You're in a hot car on a long journey and you have no air-conditioning
You stop at a restaurant and have your favourite food sitting in front of you, but your hands chained behind your back (which, incidentally, aches like the blazes) because you're not allowed to eat it. But everyone else on the road with you can. ers
You can't see (or feel) your own feet
And when you get to the end of the road, you know you're going to be squeezed in the crusher along with the car for more than just a few hours. And trust me, that feels like eternity.
And when you can't take any more and you can't go on at all and you have no strength left in you whatsoever - some stranger seeing you in all your fat, naked glory screams at you to try again - while the one person you were counting on to help you get out of this mess, is about as much use to you as a chocolate teapot.

Feel better now? Aren't you glad you're men.

post #17 of 29
haha and THATS why ill never have kids
nuh i dunno i love kid , bt i still have anger issues till thier sorted kids are a nono
post #18 of 29
Thread Starter 
Lillekat - that's all so true. And you know what? It's not just men that don't - can't - understand. I don't think women understand either until it happens to them. I certainly didn't. I had no idea how long and painful and uncomfortable pregnancy can be.

Especially how long. Nine months doesn't sound like long but it is. It's the better part of a year. And for nearly that whole time there is something about your body that isn't right. Since I've been pregnant I have had terrible gum disease - constant pain in my mouth. I've had pelvic problems that are so bad that from 20 weeks onwards I haven't been able to turn over in bed at night without assistance, and without crying from the pain. I can't walk properly, I have carpal tunnel syndrome in both of my arms, and I am just exhausted ALL the time.

Now, any of these things you can deal with - but this goes for at least six months - ALL day, EVERY day, ALL night, EVERY night for more than half a year. I'd never have thought that it could be so consuming, so exhausting.

Then labour that goes for 12 to 24 hours (at least) STRAIGHT, with whopping contractions that towards the end come every 30 seconds and last for a minute and a half and this goes for HOURS, then squeezing a whole child out through your pelvis (which believe me, isn't that big) and then your nether regions which may have been designed to stretch that far but often tear open in the process and require stitches - yeah, it's no ball game.

Of course, feeling your baby rolling around inside you and having the wriggling, helpless, beautiful little bundle given to you afterwards is worth all of it (and I can't wait) nobody said it was easy. That's why women all over the world still die in childbirth. It's dangerous, it's traumatic, it's breathtakingly painful, and it's a real ordeal.

I really don't think it's too much to ask for your husband not to read through your antenatal class.

Max would never do anything so insensitive and rude, and I really felt sorry for this man's wife. What a cad.
post #19 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat View Post

Feel better now? Aren't you glad you're men.

of course i am Glad to be man.
i get to stand up to go the bathroom

the rest is still propaganda


but yea i agree he should have hold your hand.
post #20 of 29
Brings to mind my experience with La Maz classes. When I was pregnant with Jenny, I found that our county hospital offered free classes when every other place charged. So, why not go to the county?

The first night we were there, on break, we were sitting in the lobby and the cops brought in a guy who was beat up and in handcuffs.

In our class, we had the biker couple with tattoos all over and in leather every time. No offense to bikers, but have you ever seen a very pregnant woman in chaps? We had a mother and single daughter. A woman who had her sister as a coach. The others spoke English as a second language (this is the Bay Area).

Except for the couple where the woman was Anglo and the husband was Korean. He just did not want to be there. But she was so enthusiastic that by the last class or 2 he go into it.

I would have paid for such a class and not gone to the county hospital with our son but he was a planned C-section so we didn't have to go.
post #21 of 29
Sounds like a typical guy.
post #22 of 29
I've also have incredible dental problems because all the enamel stripped from my teeth during pregnancy (despite taking extra calcium), my hips have never been the same - I did have an old tae kwon do injury to deal with on top of that, my back is ruined, my body is covered in stretch marks even though I used lotions and oils and whatnot, I can't get a flat tummy no matter what I try, and yes, I required stitches too. I think a man also has to take into consideration the indignity of being seen naked by an entire hospital, and then have your most intimate parts stitched up (mine was botched too, so I STILL have pain with that 8 years later) by a complete stranger! AFter he was born, I didn't even get to hold him after all that hard work. LIterally, he was born and given to his father!! THANKYOU!

Not only that, but the first night I was alone with my baby boy, I couldn't get him to stop crying - bear in mind I'd been awake for the last 48 hours, in pain for the last 11 and I'd tried everything like feeding, burping, changing etc - he was taken away from me by a midwife who told me in no uncertain terms that if I couldn't make it through even the first night, I was a terrible mother!! Way to speed up the bonding process.

I agree that even women who've never had kids won't grasp how tough it is on you mentally and physically - I came out of it feeling like a complete train wreck! When you've got to be awake as often as you are to feed a baby in the night, you'd think that pregnancy would be a little easier on a woman come the end of it..... but no. We're supposed to carry on regardless. It's a wonder any of us actually survive the process!

Rune is determined that he wants to have kids - but he doesn't want to be in the delivery room with me. I've told him flatly that I don't get a choice on whether or not I want to be in the delivery room, so he's going to have to suck it up and be a man because I'm going to need his support more than anything right then. Until he can do that for me, then I'm not going to be having his kids.
post #23 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
of course i am Glad to be man.
i get to stand up to go the bathroom

the rest is still propaganda


but yea i agree he should have hold your hand.
If it's all propaganda, I'd like to see you go through it and say that again
post #24 of 29
This all sounds fun! LOL We get to start our childbirth classes tomorrow. 3 hours of no idea what for 3 days (One a week). We get to take ours in the hospital at the L&D ward and they are free.

I do know if Mike acts like that guy with the book, is a good thing we'll be right in the hospital. He'd need to stay a few days.
post #25 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrissyR View Post
This all sounds fun! LOL We get to start our childbirth classes tomorrow. 3 hours of no idea what for 3 days (One a week). We get to take ours in the hospital at the L&D ward and they are free.

I do know if Mike acts like that guy with the book, is a good thing we'll be right in the hospital. He'd need to stay a few days.

Hehehehehehe!! And to think my partner was taken next door to be fanned by a couple of nurses after he passed out when I was getting blood tests done!! If only I'd had the strength then to pap him one in the teeth for that!
post #26 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat View Post
Rune is determined that he wants to have kids - but he doesn't want to be in the delivery room with me. I've told him flatly that I don't get a choice on whether or not I want to be in the delivery room, so he's going to have to suck it up and be a man because I'm going to need his support more than anything right then. Until he can do that for me, then I'm not going to be having his kids.
Is that right? I love the way they do that. Sure, sure - I'll be there to help you make the baby but after that you're on your own!!

Is it because he just thinks he'll totally freak out? Well, too bad, I say.

I'm so fortunate that Max is the way he is. He's even told me he'll be down the business end when she comes out - he wants to see it ALL. I said I would prefer him not to be (I heard a comedian once refer to that as being the same as `watching my favourite pub burn down' - LOL!) because I wanted us to see her for the first time together. But then he said `look, you've got to do the whole pregnancy, you'll get to breastfeed - you get ALL the good stuff. If I get to see her first then that's just too bad!'. And I kind of agree - I can't begrudge him that so I've said he can be wherever he wants for the `moment'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat View Post
Hehehehehehe!! And to think my partner was taken next door to be fanned by a couple of nurses after he passed out when I was getting blood tests done!! If only I'd had the strength then to pap him one in the teeth for that!
We have a good story here. Nothing is sacred in hospitals. We had a patient who was having a c-section and her husband managed to pass out in theatre and fracture his skull. So all the staff had to rush around attending to him while she lay there, all prepped and ready, saying `Hello?? Hello??? Anyone?'. The husband was fine - but that story got around in about two hours!
post #27 of 29
Usually in the Uk they kick unconsious fathers into a corner of the room and let him come to his own senses because they''ve got more "pressing" things to worry about! I knwo Rune is worried about freaking out, but liek you said, that's just too bad... I'd rather he freaked out than missed the most important moment in both our lives.
post #28 of 29
Thread Starter 
Well they usually do here, too, except for the blood that was coming out of his nose. That's a tad more serious!
post #29 of 29
yeah that would about do it!
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