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I need good vibes

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Hmm where to start....well I guess we will start from the sort of beginning.

When I went off to college my dad offered to pay for everything for me, and being 19 and not knowing much about the world I thought that was the best thing ever...that and I had about 2 cents to my name at the time. Well that has continued for 4 years now and it has put a HUGE strain on our relationship but I just can't find a job and its really frusterating. I had some luck this fall and was working for about two weeks before school pressure made me quit(that and I absolutly hated my job). After that I have applied for at least 30 other jobs and haven't had any luck. So right now my dad is shouldering about 1200 dollars worth of bills monthly + the cost of school 2 times a year(about 10k after everything is said and done). So in one year he is dropping about 24,400 dollars a year on just my bills and other stuff.

To add to the mix he had hernia surgery about a week ago so that was expensive. He spent the night in the hospital about 3 weeks ago with a kidney stone so thats another bill he as. The house just got remodled for about $11,000 and he just got himself a new Lexus which cost him about 30k. And now my mom needs both knees replaced and thats a major thing, there talking about keeping her at a rehab center for about a month per leg(there doing one at a time). So you have the cost of the surgery + rehab center + other medical bills that I am sure will come up and that easily another couple hundred thousand in medical bills.

And I want to go to see my girlfriend in 2 weeks but that trip is going to cost about 5k + gas(I get about 20 miles to the gallon and its about 1200 miles round trip). And of course since I don't have any money and in fact I am about 400 in the hole(had to ask for another loan this morning...he was not happy).

Now I found out that my brother is moving back home because he can't afford his rent. He's 26 so my dad is not pleased that he's moving back home and there going out to dinner to "discuss" it. My mom is the one that invited him thinking that he could help her out if she doesn't go to rehab right away. She is the type of parent that would like her children to stay home until they are 50 so she doesn't mind having him home at all but my dad is the opposite. It was very very stressful the last 2 years me and my brother lived at the house mainly because he was 22 when he finally moved out and that was just way to long for my dad.

So if you could please send vibes and any idea's on how I can quickly get money so I can start paying for my own stuff. I have about 30 applications in all over town and I have even started driving to the neighobring states to try to get jobs(dad doesn't like this idea but money is money). There only about 15 minutes away anyway so its not that big of a commute. Anyway any vibes/advice would be great.
post #2 of 14

Ah, to be young again...

Nope, don't think I'd do it if I could.

But here's the stern uncle talk:

No job is "fun" all the time. Most of them are boring, some of them are dangerous, and all of them have periods where you'll hate them. That's why someone pays you to do them.

Are you about to graduate from college? If so, you need to be looking for a job, any job, to start getting your finances together. If not, you may need to find another college that you can attend for a lot less money. Your dad probably expected it to be a four-year ordeal, with a light at the end of the tunnel--you getting a job and not being dependent any more.

My wife has 3 brothers who live at home with her 80+ year old mother. Two of the three are on disability, from TV butt-itis, as near as we can tell. They are in for a cruel shock one of these days, and no one (except my wife) ever sits them down and tells them to at least pretend to be an adult and take some responsibility. One of them has never even written a check in his whole life.

My wife and I have worked all our lives, and we've had some pretty lousy jobs, as well as some good ones. I didn't intend to drive a truck when I graduated from college, but automotive journalism was dead at that time, teaching for 5 years mainly taught me why I hadn't been an education major, and if I could find another job that had the same pay and benefits as driving, I'd do it. I started working at 14 for a beekeeper, worked a couple of years on a ranch, a summer hauling hay, 5 years part-time while I was in school at a cabinet factory, and lots more. All of them followed the rules I stated above.

OK, preaching mode off.
post #3 of 14
Jobs are hard to find right now, so if you find one, you really should stick it out. Everyone wants their "dream" job, but you make do with what pays the bills until you are in the position financial to be picky. Working at McDonalds is better than nothing. I know going to school and working is hard and a lot of pressure but sometimes it has to be done. And, don't think of it as a career, it's just a job to get you through.

And, 5K plus gas to visit your girlfriend? Honey, what are you going to do, buy her a ring while you are there??
post #4 of 14
Thread Starter 
Yes I am planning on graduating from college next year *crosses fingers* with a degree in mathematics and a minor in psychology. The math is the only thing that would extend it past that point but thats mainly because I've found I have very little talent or interest in upper level mathematics(proofs must die) but I am to far into my major to really change it and I want to get out while I still can so I will take my useless degree and like most people work at some fast food joint even though I have collegiate training.

I just feel so bad for my parents...they did everything for me and how do I repay them, I leech off of them. And now that they need as little monetary strain as possible I still can't get away from needing them and now my brother is moving back home...which I am sure won't help things. At least I let them know on a daily basis that I really do appreciate that they are helping me like this but I don't think they hear it anymore all they see is the dollar bills flying out of there check book.

Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
And, 5K plus gas to visit your girlfriend? Honey, what are you going to do, buy her a ring while you are there??
The hotel alone will run be about 1500 dollars + any in room charges I have. I can't stay with her(see my other post). Though it will be closer to about 3k now that I think about it because other than room all I really need money for is entertainment and food.
post #5 of 14
I once thought that driving a truck for one of the NHRA teams would be the ideal job. Then I talked to some of the guys doing it. They say it's great...for the first six months. Then it is a really tough job, lots of time away from home, working on the car when you're not driving, etc.

I'd still like to try it.

You planning on teaching with that degree? Teach math and be the school counselor?
post #6 of 14
Thread Starter 
I was thinking about it but I will have to do more school for that. The origonal plan was to become a teacher but I couldn't get into the school of education here with out staying another 2-3 years to fix my grades(I had a .98 cumulative gpa after my first year). So I am just going to get the math degree and then, if I can get a job, I will pay to go to another school(near my girlfriend) and finish my psychology degree and then go into that. Thats really were my talent lies and thankfully there are TONS of coffee shops around where she lives so I can probably get a busboy job very easily.
post #7 of 14
Honestly, unless you are visiting nearby colleges and doing interviews with them, you should not go visit your girlfriend. You can't afford it, and it would irresponsible for you to go anyway. Yeah, that sucks, but if you don't have a job and are living off your parents, then you have to deny yourself some things you want to do.

I'm a grad student, and I have a crappy, low paying job. I barely make enough to cover my rent and bills. I would love to go visit my dad in Florida (I'm in Missouri). I only see him 2 times a year, maybe 3 times at the most. However, I can't afford it, and he can't afford to buy me a ticket to fly down there. So, I'm not going to visit him.

If you are so concerned with "leeching off your parents", then be proactive and apply for student loans. Apply for financial aid through your school and the government. Make an effort to try to take some of the pressure of your parents' bank account.

post #8 of 14
How long are you staying? Does she have a friend you could crash with instead of paying for a hotel? Not only would that save you money, but you could have a "reference" for her parents from one of her friends that you are a good guy. I know, not a lot of privacy, but it may be an option.

Also, is there a posibility you could fly instead of drive to see her? I know the price of air flight is going up, but in the long run, it still may be cheaper than driving 600 miles and save wear and tear on your vehicle.
post #9 of 14
Have you tried the on campus tutoring program at school? helping Freshmen and Sophomores with their math? Heck, helping the athletes with their 'dummy' math. If you have, then try off campus tutoring companies. I don't like upper math either, but I can teach... I used to teach at Sylvan Learning Center... it's part time... now depending on how hard-up your local centers are for teachers, they may or may not want a college student... but you could teach the kids there easily... it's basic stuff.

Look at things you like to do, even remotely like, and then find stuff that may guide you in that direction. If you like books, apply to each and every bookstore you can find... and then check back with them every so often on the status... it lets them know you are still interested. Try the campus bookstore. Try the local libraries.

There's usually a career office on college campuses... I doubt your campus in an exception to that. Walk in there on Monday and look at the job listings... the jobs posted there are LOOKING for college students. That's how i found a great job with a wedding photographer while I was working on my BA in English. I was there two years... ultimately, he decided he wanted someone full time, and tried to get me to drop out of school... when I refused, i was 'let go.' But it was fun while it lasted... Try the Career Office... whatever it's called. The staff/counselors there can help you find work.

No job will be perfect. I have days i hate both of my current jobs... and I'm working with two things I LOVE: fabric and books. But I deal with the negatives... are things perfect? no, but I'm working on it. I'm not saying you have to go flip burgers... I haven't yet. I did do food service in a hospital though... rather... er... interesting. I had more education behind me than some of my supervisors... but I did my job, despite the occasional creepiness (the black sign on the door means you don't want to go in there... the patient has died), the spillage (don't tip used trays - bad things happen to your uniform), and the hours (wait, I just went to bed, and i have to get up when???).

But it was worth it. the experience was interesting, if nothing else. Try stuff... and go to that office on campus.

As for visiting your girlfriend? Don't. I know you really want to, but she's too far away for you to pull this trip off. If you absolutely MUST go, what about Youth Hostels in the area? They're a LOT cheaper than hotels... not as private, but much cheaper. But I still wouldn't go. That trip will cost far too much... wait until you have money of your own... enough to pay for the trip and then some.

Now that I've written yet another 'book' post... I have to go to work... good luck!

post #10 of 14
Are there recruiters who come to your campus? Can you get an intern job somewhere? I know they don't pay much, but you get experience plus a little cash.

College is so expensive these days, but did you ever look into scholarships or loans to take some of the burden off your parents?
post #11 of 14
If you feel so guilty about using your parents money maybe take out a small student loan. Just like 5K or something to shoulder some of the responsibility. My dad was paying for me but I felt bad and ended up taking out a small student loan and it helped tons, and i'm still not in very much debt at all (in grad school now and paid it almost all off).

I don't know how it works in the states but in canada you can get a student line of credit and you only pay interest on what you use. Ie. my line of credit allowed me access to 10K but I only used just under 5K, only paid interest on that as I used it and it barely cost me anything.

Good luck.
post #12 of 14
Just a hint. If you're willing to work as a busboy, go for the gusto and get a good job as a waiter. Yeah, I know it doesn't sound like much, but it can be VERY lucrative, especially at the better restaurants.
post #13 of 14
You might look into student loans. I don't know if you live in the states or not, but of you do and have any questions about federal student loans, I work in that business. PM me with any questions you might have.
post #14 of 14
getting another cat would definitely not be a good idea given your circumstances then. i noticed in another thread you are thinking about doing this.

how would you pay for your current cat plus a new one with no money?
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