Conversations that could only happen in a cat household

creativgirl · Apr 23, 2008

Originally Posted by algebrapro18

Girl friend: Baby you look like crap today, didn't you sleep last night
Me: Yes but only for a few hours and in the same position
Girl Friend: Why didn't you move
Me: Tom took up the rest of the bed
Girl Friend: Why...how...I don't want to know
Me: *laughs*

Matt (boyfriend): Honey, you look tired. Did you sleep OK last night?
Me: I ended up lying diagonally across the bed because Oliver was curled up around my head and Rocky was on my feet. I woke up with the worst backache because I couldn't move.
Matt: *finds cat to yell at* Why are you keeping your mom from sleeping?
Cat: *gives Matt and me classic cat "Whatever" look*
Matt: That's right, I'm talking to you!

momofmany · Apr 23, 2008

I think most of the conversations between DH and I are related to the critters.

This actually happened once:
Me: Hey, one of the cats tried to put a dead mouse in my briefcase today.
DH: Oh that would be embarrassing to have it fall out during a meeting!

And our weekly shopping ritual:
One of us: I'm going shopping - what food do we need?
The other: We're ok on dog food, but need Lola (puppy) food.
One of us: Did you check the feral cat bins?
The other: We got about 2 days worth, might add that to the list.
One of us: What about Stumpy food?
The other: Down to 4 cans of Wellness and 3 cans of Authority
One of us: What about Scarlett (aka wet) food?
The other: We got about 4 days left. Get more.
One of us: What about dry?
The other: Bin is about 1/4 full. You might want to pick some of that up while you're out.
One of us: How we doing on bread?
The other: Yeah, and buy some lunch meat while you're at it.
(notice that our food is the after thought?)

katiemae1277 · Apr 23, 2008

Originally Posted by laureen227

what, you didn't appreciate her excellent aim? mine can be in an acceptable spot [i have wall-to-wall linoleum] & they'll

to where a piece of clothing has fallen, or a book, or a shoe, in order to puke in it!

exactly! wide open floor, but noooo, it has to be right in my shoe.... she has actually done this 3 or 4 times

sophiec · Apr 23, 2008

Originally Posted by gayef

So, I said loudly, "GEORGE! Get your nose out of your mother's butt this instant!!".

OMG....that is too funny!!!!

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

one that I had just last week: Antigone! Why do you always manage to puke RIGHT IN MY SHOE!!!!

Bella did that to me just last week. She woke me up in the middle of the night doing her kitty gag....I turned on the light and watched her vomit in my slipper. I turned the light back off, rolled over, and made a mental note not to step into my slippers when I woke up.

courtney_ou · Apr 23, 2008

NOOOOO DONT THROW UP ON THE REMOTE AGAIN!!

do you mind? im trying to go potty. here, play under the sink, but leave the toidy paper alone.

must you always get kitty spitty in my hair?

ew that went right in my pop! i dont spit in your water dish!

quit biting my head! i was sitting here first!

just because im eating THIS end of my sandwich DOES NOT give you permission to eat the other end, patches.

what happened to the meat in my sandwich? (see previous statement LOL)

i have to pee so bad but chloe looks so cute

(mom)why are you laying between the wall and the mattress like that
(me)because chloe is all stretched out and i came over here by the wall and the mattress slipped and moved and i fell. but look how cute she is!
(mom) but look how uncomfortable you are. man shes getting big! shes as long as the bed is wide!!!! but she does look cute

patchy! quit drinking my coffee! it cant be good for you! and when did you learn to drink out of a straw?

laureen227 · Apr 23, 2008

Originally Posted by Momofmany

(notice that our food is the after thought?)

since no one at my house but me speaks, i don't have conversations... but the checkout clerks must think it's amusing.
last week, i bought about 21 cans of cat food [would be more, but i only buy cans for the ferals at the grocery store], 2 boxes of tea, 1 box of cereal, 4 boxes of those 100-calorie snax, & some cookies. i'm sure they think i'm eating the cat food!

momofmany · Apr 23, 2008

Another true conversation that happened in 1996:

DH: How did your job interview go today?
Me: It was great until a flea jumped off of me and landed on the table between us.
DH:

!?!?! We just Advantaged everyone last week. We gotta go back to Frontline. Advantage isn't working.
Me: We had the dogs on Frontline. The cats have always been on Advantage.
DH: Then we'll switch the dogs back to Frontline.
Me: (always the practical one) But we have about 2 more months of the stuff and its really expensive.
DH: Then lets use it on the cats.
Me: Can't do that, its Advantix and it can't be used on cats.
DH: Then donate it to the Humane Society or something.
Me: OK, I'll swing by the vets after work tomorrow and pick some up.

End of conversation. And btw, I got the job.

gingersmom · Apr 23, 2008

Preface: Someone thought that a pair of my cotton VS panties on the floor would make a good place to throw up on. After laundering, they were still very stained from the vomit, so I folded them and put them aside to be bleached. This was in the living room.

A couple of days later...

Roomie: You'll never guess what Max did last night.
Me: What now?
Roomie: He ran into my bedroom at about 2 a.m. with something on his head. It wasn't until after I grabbed him and took it off that I realized they were the puke panties. He was running around the house with them on his head.

Me:

sharky · Apr 23, 2008

Originally Posted by laureen227

since no one at my house but me speaks, i don't have conversations... but the checkout clerks must think it's amusing.
last week, i bought about 21 cans of cat food [would be more, but i only buy cans for the ferals at the grocery store], 2 boxes of tea, 1 box of cereal, 4 boxes of those 100-calorie snax, & some cookies. i'm sure they think i'm eating the cat food!

same here ... but the butcher at the grocery know s that I am buying meat for the four legs finally asked do you have show animals or are you just really good to your animals...

I often have to excuse myself on business calls for a four legged action... ie sounds very strange Gigi tell Ben to stop kissing Zoey .....

abbycats · Apr 23, 2008

Originally Posted by gayef

Living with cats, I declare that I will never have a normal phone conversation ever again. Case in point:

On a recent phone call to a customer service representative, I was asked to "hold while my account was accessed", which I agreed to do. So, while I thought I was on hold, I noticed that George was walking down my Ranch-O-Rama Bowling Alley-style hardwood hallway with his big blue nose shoved way too far up Lex's patootie. So, I said loudly, "GEORGE! Get your nose out of your mother's butt this instant!!".

On the other end of the phone, I hear a shocked gasp and then gales of laughter. I proceeded to try to explain that I was talking to my CATS and that I knew how absolutely horrible that must have sounded ... all to no avail. This woman was cracking up, had lost all control and wasn't gonna recover from it. She quickly put me on REAL hold whereupon a different customer service rep took over my call, ostensibly to allow the first one to get a grip on herself before she took another call.

Knowing friends and family members who work at call centers, I know that all of you folks have that one "special" call of the day ... the memorable ones who for some reason stick in your mind over all the others. My guess is that for that woman, I was her "special" call of that day. *smile*

OMG That is so Funny!!! I work in a call center and that would have been the call of a lifetime!!!!!!!

courtney_ou · Apr 23, 2008

i said this one while on the phone earlier today:

CHLOE QUIT BITING YOUR SISTER ON THE BUTT!

fortunately i was talking to mom LOL

valanhb · Apr 23, 2008

On trash night:

Me to DH: Be careful with that bag - it's full of poopies!

(Seriously, we missed our trash day last week and with 4 kitties...2 weeks worth of litter scoopings is heavy!)

zissou'smom · Apr 23, 2008

I had one just now:

Why must you sneeze in my eye?

(I'm alone, so I'm counting talking to Zissou as a conversation...

)

cc12 · Apr 24, 2008

My ex husband-I was just wondering if I could stop by for an hour today to see the cats.
Me-I don't know, they are tired today from being up so late chasing phantom mice.
ex-Yes, they do need their rest. How about on my lunch hour tomorrow? I will come over with some treats. They should like that.
Me-Yes sure.
ex-Give them all big kisses and tell them that Daddy misses them.
Me-No problem.

He actually has me hold the phone to their ears while he makes kissey noises.
My ex is 6'4.

algebrapro18 · Apr 24, 2008

Why must you sneeze in my eye?

Glad to see I'm not the only one who has this problem with his cat. He usually does it when I am petting him in the morning, though I make the mistake of looking him right in the eyes when I pet him. The amazing thing is I have glasses and he still manages to get it in my eye when I'm wearing them...magical snot I think.

rang_27 · Apr 24, 2008

It's just me & the cats, so I'm sure my neighbors think I'm nuts.

Here's a one for each kitty.

Levi, stop eating your siblings food. Just because it's there doesn't mean you need to eat it.
Jordan stop trying to mount your sister, you know she does not like that. (I should add that they are all fixed)
Isaac stop being a bully, you are not the police kitty of the house
What's wrong Maggie you don't like that food? ...... Here you are your royal highness, I hope you like this one better. (and I wonder why she's picky?)

momofmany · Apr 24, 2008

And how many of us have said:
Get your butt out of my face!!

Or in the middle of the night:
Thank you for stepping on my bladder.

pami · Apr 24, 2008

Originally Posted by Momofmany

And how many of us have said:
Get your butt out of my face!!

Or in the middle of the night:
Thank you for stepping on my bladder.

Really!! Just this morning I was at the kitchen island sitting across from my niece and nephew. Kiko decides my face could use his butt in it

gayef · Apr 24, 2008

And yet another priceless gem from our home ...

Husband: ARGH!!!!!!! GAYE-GAYE!!!! Bring paper towels QUICK!!!!

I go running, paper towels in hand to see what the matter is.

Me: OMG! What????

Husband to the cats: Why must YOU PEOPLE always vomit just where I plan to walk?

And I will leave the rest to your imaginations. *wink*

satai · Apr 24, 2008

Originally Posted by gayef

And yet another priceless gem from our home ...

Husband: ARGH!!!!!!! GAYE-GAYE!!!! Bring paper towels QUICK!!!!

I go running, paper towels in hand to see what the matter is.

Me: OMG! What????

Husband to the cats: Why must YOU PEOPLE always vomit just where I plan to walk?

And I will leave the rest to your imaginations. *wink*

You people? AWESOME.

Conversations that could only happen in a cat household

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