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funniest thing i think i have ever read

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/505190510.html i laughed until i cried over this woman's "problem"
post #2 of 24
Aww boo, it's filtered at my job
post #3 of 24
Oh, that poor woman. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time was laughing hysterically. FFFFWWWWWWPPPPP hahahaha
post #4 of 24
We are both sitting here laughing - DH's suggestion "go buy a cork".....
post #5 of 24
THAT was one of the most hilarious things I've read in awhile!!!!

"butt-dwelling critters"



My Chewbacca is a big dog with bigger farts... but he's never stared at his butt for escaping monsters. LOL He has; however, cleared the room his fair share!
post #6 of 24
OMG that was too funny! I am curious though... as a broke student how on earth can she afford to feed a mastiff?!
post #7 of 24
She probably has a thriving career in standup comedy! That was some great comic writing!
post #8 of 24
That was great
post #9 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by twstychik View Post
OMG that was too funny! I am curious though... as a broke student how on earth can she afford to feed a mastiff?!
Probably WHY she's broke!
post #10 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
Probably WHY she's broke!
No kidding!!

That link is priceless. I loved the part about the fog and butt staring! LOL

On Wednesday when I was at the Vet's a woman came in with her 12 week old Mastiff puppy. He was such a doll! It was the first time I'd seen one. His head was huge and so were his paws.

She said he was a pure bred English Mastiff. He looked a bit like this little one here: http://pictopia.com/perl/get_image?p...hoto_id=137740

I just did a google search to see how big they get when full grown!

http://boston.com/news/globe/gallery/120707?pg=17

OMG! In addition to my full time nursing salary I'd have to take on a part time job just to keep him in food!
post #11 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
She probably has a thriving career in standup comedy! That was some great comic writing!
Yeah, with a Mastiff who has a Chihuahua for his "brother" she could really write some good lines. You know, a chihuahua is about the size of that lamp
post #12 of 24
I shouldn't have read that while eating.
post #13 of 24
That was so funny! Although I do pity the poor dog...
post #14 of 24
We used to have a Boxer who was the same way! We never found a solution, either, other than to open our windows all the time, even in dead winter.

I wanted a Mastiff, and hubby wanted a Boxer, and one of the arguments he'd used was that Mastiffs were prone to flatulence!
post #15 of 24

My dog has a habit of Burping in our Faces and shes only a Quarter that dogs size!... lol.

Yes.. Poor Dog!!
post #16 of 24
post #17 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
We are both sitting here laughing - DH's suggestion "go buy a cork".....
Funny - that was my first thought too. There's only one problem... if she doesn't die from asphixiation... she's going to cork his butt and die in the resulting explosion! Try explaining that one to the neighbours!

"I tried to stop my dog's flatulence.... he blew up!"
post #18 of 24
Hmmmmmm......interesting........
post #19 of 24


Some of the other 'best of' listings are pretty funny too.
post #20 of 24
That was funny. My Charlie stares at his butt everytime he farts too, now I know he is looking for the critters. Luckily his farts don't smell to bad unless I give him "milkbones" nothing else seems to affect him like they do, thank goodness.
post #21 of 24
That poor woman and dog. Really funny stuff though.
post #22 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
No kidding!!

That link is priceless. I loved the part about the fog and butt staring! LOL

On Wednesday when I was at the Vet's a woman came in with her 12 week old Mastiff puppy. He was such a doll! It was the first time I'd seen one. His head was huge and so were his paws.

She said he was a pure bred English Mastiff. He looked a bit like this little one here: http://pictopia.com/perl/get_image?p...hoto_id=137740

I just did a google search to see how big they get when full grown!

http://boston.com/news/globe/gallery/120707?pg=17

OMG! In addition to my full time nursing salary I'd have to take on a part time job just to keep him in food!
I once saw a nearly-full-grown English one in PetSmart. The owner had the 210lb pup on a leash, talking to another customer. In saunters a tiny Pug; all, what, 15 lbs of him. The Pug was literally throwing himself at the Mastiff's side, barking, snarling, and growling. The Mastiff just looked at the Pug, as much as to say, "Yeah, right pal. My knees are shaking." I swear, I wish I had a video of it! It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen! BTW, I petted the Mastiff, who was a big sweetie, very gentle (thank God!). I asked the owner about how big he'd get: "Oh about 220-235 lbs." And he had 2 more at home! He also laughed hysterically when I inquired about his dog food bill..
post #23 of 24
James Herriott, who wrote the All Creatures Great and Small books, wrote of the "Farting Boxer". No change of diet or medicine would help. The solution? The dog was adopted by the owner's gardener who had lost his sense of smell.

My mom's parents had a mastiff when they lived in town. It was to protect my barely 5 foot grandmother. Grandpa (6 foot 2) did horseshoeing (yep, that long ago) and there was a sign telling folks to not go to the house. There was one time the dog chased a man up a small tree. The tree was starting to bend over and my grandmother was trying to pull the dog back. The dog would not have hurt the guy - licked him to death maybe.

Nephew now has a puppy who might be part mastiff. His name is Titan and he will probably do the name proud.
post #24 of 24
I literally have tears streaming down my face from reading this


Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
We are both sitting here laughing - DH's suggestion "go buy a cork".....
That might be dangerous with "Petey"
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