Stay at home moms...I can't believe she said this!!

calico2222

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I was talking with a few people during break today at work about a co-worker who finally got pregnant. She and her husband have been trying for 3 years and it finally happened! We were all happy for her, then one girl said "yeah, well she just wanted to get pregnant so she can sit on her butt all day. She wants to be a stay home mom, you know?".
Ok....and....that is bad? According her this girl, stay at home mom's are lazy and just watch soap opera's all day (she doesn't have childern, of course). She said "There is no reason why she can't work after she has the kid. It's not fair to put everything on her husband."

Ok...I've talked to the woman, and her husband has a federal job, great benefits and retirement and she was only working for something to do. It's NOT going to be a financial hardship to have her stop working, and she's only planning on staying home until their child gets in school then she will decide if she will go back to work or not.

It's not like her not working is going to put them on welfare. I could understand if they NEEDED 2 incomes to make ends meet, or even if she was a doctor or lawyer or a professional with a career and this would hurt her in the long run....but we work in a call center for pete's sakes! This is NOT a career goal!! I just couldn't believe her attitude. I thought that way of thinking went out with the 80's!
 

duchess15

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Originally Posted by calico2222

Ok...I've talked to the woman, and her husband has a federal job, great benefits and retirement and she was only working for something to do. It's NOT going to be a financial hardship to have her stop working, and she's only planning on staying home until their child gets in school then she will decide if she will go back to work or not.
My mom did stay at home, however, she always volunteered somewhere so that she wasn't home all day.

I am not married nor do I have children, but I have babysat all the way from a newborn and up. Let me tell you, she needs to learn a lesson in raising a child. Raising children is a full time job and you barely have time to get the things done that you need to.

Your co-worker needs a wake up call. How old is she?
 
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calico2222

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Originally Posted by Duchess15

My mom did stay at home, however, she always volunteered somewhere so that she wasn't home all day.

I am not married nor do I have children, but I have babysat all the way from a newborn and up. Let me tell you, she needs to learn a lesson in raising a child. Raising children is a full time job and you barely have time to get the things done that you need to.

Your co-worker needs a wake up call. How old is she?
Oh, she's 29 and still doesn't have a clue. Also doesn't have a steady boyfriend (wonder why??
).

I completely admire women who work and raise kids, but I still think the majority of them do it because they have to to pay the bills, or because they really love what they do. Women who stay home and take care of their kids full time have the hardest job of all! I know I couldn't do it!
 

duchess15

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Originally Posted by calico2222

Oh, she's 29 and still doesn't have a clue. Also doesn't have a steady boyfriend (wonder why??
).

I completely admire women who work and raise kids, but I still think the majority of them do it because they have to to pay the bills, or because they really love what they do. Women who stay home and take care of their kids full time have the hardest job of all! I know I couldn't do it!
My mom went back to work when I was 6 or 7. I was a latchkey kid and stayed home alone about 2-3 hours a day during the week. She totally trusted me and I knew what to do.
 

trouts mom

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Well...I know some people that would rather be baby machines than go to work
(Not necessarily affording it)

But if its something the mother wants to do than I don't see why the heck anyone else would say anything negative about it.
 

butzie

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I am a professional woman who worked long hours at my chosen career. I had nannies for our kids, especially our daughter, when I was what I call, "Working for pay outside the home." I never thought that staying at home or working was better in general. In specific, though, I think that you have to look at the big picture. I realized how much of our daughter's childhood I missed working and traveling. I still worked. Then came Ben who really needed me at home with his problems.

I don't think that we should judge moms or dads based upon whether or not they need to work for the money. There are persons who can afford to stay home but chose not. Some parents would love to stay home but cannot afford it.

For us, I give up a fair bit of money to stay home with Ben. Do I miss what I did with all my education? You betcha! Do I regret my decision? Heck no!
 

laureen227

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

But if its something the mother wants to do than I don't see why the heck anyone else would say anything negative about it.
my sister was/is a 'stay at home' mom... & they didn't have loads of money [her husband was in the service]. but they both felt that children [especially young children] benefit greatly from having a parent as a caregiver, rather that daycare. they cut corners elsewhere so that they could make this choice.
i understand that some people can't afford to choose this option - but i still think it's the best one, if it's possible.
my mom stayed home w/us until we were school age - & then she got her degree as a teacher so that we shared the same hours.
 

okiron

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my mother was/is the sit on the couch and watch tv all day type. i wish/ed she was out working, i was on my own anyway and so are my brothers now.

i hope i'll get to be a stay at home mom but i'll actually be doing productive things like raising my child.
 

kluchetta

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Definitely sounds like she's jealous. I would have loved to have stayed home with my kids. I did for a bit with my son. It was the hardest work EVER. But it's hard to understand how rewarding at the same time.
 

missymotus

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Originally Posted by laureen227

they both felt that children [especially young children] benefit greatly from having a parent as a caregiver, rather that daycare. they cut corners elsewhere so that they could make this choice.
My sister and her partner feel the same, they think mum staying home is best for their families.

Our mum stayed home until the youngest was in school, and I'm glad she did
 

cococat

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I think she sounds a bit jealous, lol.

I think it is a responsible decision they made to let the momma raise her own child. Good for them. Good for the kid.
Not everyone can make that decision for many reasons, but if the mom wants to do it, I think it is the best decision in most cases for the child to have that type of care and commitment. Or even the dad nowadays.

Raising a kid the right way is a lot of work. Not a light responsibility.

My mom stayed at home with me and my siblings and she was the best mom in the world. I have so many fond memories of my childhood. She is still one of my best friends, same goes for my siblings, we are all adults now but even as teens we never went through that I hate my mom phase, she was always there for us and we always felt she was a friend and a good mom.

I know it wasn't always easy living on just one salary and they had to constantly make sacrifices here and there, but sometimes money cost too much. I feel I am very lucky to have had this opportunity. Even though I have gotten my master's degree and am very successful at what I do in life, I also aspire to stay at home when I have a child or children. My parents understand this, but so many people don't. Many people can’t. Some moms need to work, they don't do well at home with that much time with their children. Other moms do very well at home with that much with their children. People are so different so I never judge them for what they choose.

So many think I am short changing myself, not setting my goals high enough, not putting my degrees to use. I think I know for myself what are meaningful long lasting goals in my own life, thank you very much!
Why did I go to school at all they ask?!


Originally Posted by Duchess15

My mom did stay at home, however, she always volunteered somewhere so that she wasn't home all day.
My mom was never home all day, we always went fun places. She also was active in our schools.
 

marianjela

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Originally Posted by butzie

I am a professional woman who worked long hours at my chosen career.

For us, I give up a fair bit of money to stay home with Ben. Do I miss what I did with all my education? You betcha! Do I regret my decision? Heck no!
Butzie, I dont think I could've said it better! I used to be a full-time career mom. Putting in my salaried hours each week to come home and help the kids with homework and be their cabby, and DH was the SAHD.

This worked well for us (although I did get jealous at times) until Joshua got sick. Then hubby had to find something that could pay a fraction of what I made and I stayed home to attend to his needs.

I actually work harder at home than I ever did in an office! LOL... Sometimes I dont know how I ever did both... Of course hubby was a big help when I worked full-time, he did the shopping, prepared meals and kept the house semi-clean... but dont think he knew what a feather duster was... or a mop for that matter


Well, sounds like the girl that made that remark is in for a ride awakening... it's obvious she never stayed up all night with a newborn, woke up in the middle of the night to a puking child, or cleaned crayon off a wall...

As for soap operas... what's that???? My tv cant seem to leave Cartoon Network... I couldnt tell you if Luke and Laura are still on, but I can tell you what time Oobi comes on!
 

addiebee

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this co-worker of yours has the completely wrong idea of what is it is like to be a stay-at-home mom. Raising a child is the hardest, most demanding job in the world. It 's 24/7/365. She obviously hasn't a clue and would like to be at home on her duff watching TV.
 

yosemite

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Sounds to me like the green-eyed monster is raising it's head. I can honestly say that I couldn't wait to get back to work after my maternity leave. I was quite comfortable and happy leaving baby home with daddy all day. He had much more patience and calmness than I and didn't do the housework that I would have felt compelled to do had I been home all day.

Anyone who can stay at home all day with all that entails has my admiration.
 

baloneysmom

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Id like her to say that to my moms face!! LOL. My mom was a stay at home mom and she was just as exhausted and stressed as my dad. My mom HAD a full time job. Between school field trips, after school activities, parties, shopping, cleaning, cooking, my mom would come to my school once a week and cook lunch for the whole class. She was there when we cried, when were obnoxiously annoying, through our evil rebel teens years chasing us all over the place.

Then after we were grown my dads mom got Alzheimerâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s. So my mom took her in instead of the recommended taking her to the hospital. Changed her diapers, fed her, dealt with her wandering, dressed her, dealt patiently with her anger, all the stressful things that comes with taking in an invalid.

My mom now at 60, just like my dad is retiring and theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve both worked the same amount even though my mom hasnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t had a job since she was 20. I work 40 hours a week and I can honestly say my mom jobs as an at home mom was 100% more stressful then mine.

Green is a very ugly color on people.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Well...I know some people that would rather be baby machines than go to work
(Not necessarily affording it)

But if its something the mother wants to do than I don't see why the heck anyone else would say anything negative about it.
I agree, so long as they aren't taking advantage of a social system like welfare, it's their own business. If they live with the means to be able to afford to raise a family with a single family income, it's no one's business but their own.
 
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