It has been a while since the last round of blonde jokes, so I thought that I would post some!
AUTO REPAIR
>> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
>>mechanic it
>> died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
>>smoothly.
>>
>> She says, "What's the story?"
>>
>> He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
>>
>> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>>
>>
>>SPEEDING TICKET
>> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
>>nicely if
>> he could see her license.
>>
>> She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
>>together.
>> Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
>>expect me to
>> show it to you!"
>>
>>
>>EXPOSURE
>>A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her
>>right
>>breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am,
>>are
>>you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
>>
>>She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." he
>>says.
>>
>>She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus
>>again!"
>>
>>
>>RIVER WALK
>>There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
>>another blonde on the opposite bank.
>>
>> "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
>>
>> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
>>shouts back,
>> "You ARE on the other side."
>>
>>
>>KNITTING
>> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
>>freeway.
>> Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
>>behind the
>> wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
>>flashing
>> lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on
>>his
>> bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
>>
>> "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>>
>>
>>BLONDE ON THE SUN
>> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
>>
>> The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"
>> The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
>> The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
>>sun!"
>>
>>The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
>>heads.
>>"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
>>Russian.
>>
>>To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
>>going at night!"
>>
>>IN A VACUUM
>>A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
>>She
>>rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
>>was,
>>"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
>>it?"
>>
>>She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>>
>>
>>FINAL EXAM
>>The blonde reported for her university final examination that
>>consists of
>>yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination
>>hall,stares
>>at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of
>>inspiration,
>>takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin,
>>marking
>>the answer sheet:
>>
>>Yes, for Heads, and
>>No, for Tails.
>>
>> Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the
>>class is
>>still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen
>>desperately
>>throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed,
>>approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in
>>half an
>>hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
>>
>>
>>FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>>There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she
>>decided
>>to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,
>>grabbed a
>>little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
>>
>>I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
>>behind the
>>big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde
>>
>>She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to
>>go
>>straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find
>>the
>>$10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had
>>instructed. Inside the bag was the following note....
>>
>>Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this
>>to
>>another!
AUTO REPAIR
>> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
>>mechanic it
>> died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
>>smoothly.
>>
>> She says, "What's the story?"
>>
>> He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
>>
>> She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>>
>>
>>SPEEDING TICKET
>> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
>>nicely if
>> he could see her license.
>>
>> She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
>>together.
>> Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
>>expect me to
>> show it to you!"
>>
>>
>>EXPOSURE
>>A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her
>>right
>>breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am,
>>are
>>you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
>>
>>She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." he
>>says.
>>
>>She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus
>>again!"
>>
>>
>>RIVER WALK
>>There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
>>another blonde on the opposite bank.
>>
>> "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
>>
>> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
>>shouts back,
>> "You ARE on the other side."
>>
>>
>>KNITTING
>> A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
>>freeway.
>> Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
>>behind the
>> wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
>>flashing
>> lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on
>>his
>> bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
>>
>> "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>>
>>
>>BLONDE ON THE SUN
>> A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
>>
>> The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"
>> The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
>> The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
>>sun!"
>>
>>The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
>>heads.
>>"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
>>Russian.
>>
>>To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
>>going at night!"
>>
>>IN A VACUUM
>>A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
>>She
>>rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
>>was,
>>"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
>>it?"
>>
>>She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>>
>>
>>FINAL EXAM
>>The blonde reported for her university final examination that
>>consists of
>>yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination
>>hall,stares
>>at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of
>>inspiration,
>>takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin,
>>marking
>>the answer sheet:
>>
>>Yes, for Heads, and
>>No, for Tails.
>>
>> Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the
>>class is
>>still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen
>>desperately
>>throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed,
>>approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in
>>half an
>>hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
>>
>>
>>FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>>There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she
>>decided
>>to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,
>>grabbed a
>>little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
>>
>>I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
>>behind the
>>big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde
>>
>>She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to
>>go
>>straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find
>>the
>>$10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had
>>instructed. Inside the bag was the following note....
>>
>>Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this
>>to
>>another!
