Rehoming Kitty

After two years of playing referee and keeping our cats separated in our 750sq foot apt, we are on the brink of rehoming our male. We have a wonderful woman who would love to take him home with her, but now we're not so sure we can give him away. My husband is more attached than I realized, and he can't even bear to be here when she takes him. We still have a little bit of time to decide, but the deadline is drawing near. I feel like the bad guy now, and I am not sure I should go through with it. Then again, is it fair to keep a cat holed up in a room at night and when we're gone? We can't separate emotional reason from practical reason. I know you all are the perfect people to ask as many of you have faced similar situations. Please, any advice or encouragement is greatly appreciated. I've never seen my husband cry over an animal, and I don't think he's ever had a strong attachment to an animal before. However, I can't help but feel that this place is too small for all of us.

Thanks in advance,
Chelsea

Why can't you take turns with the cats at night instead of keeping the same one in the same place? I know cat like their 'own' places, but even they switch around every so often, and both could have the 'fun' of sleeping where the other one did the previous night (they love doing that!). Have you considered a cat tree with at least two 'dens'?

Well, I told my husband the decision would have to be his since he feels Thomas is more his than mine. He decided we would let Thomas go home with this new mommy. She already had two from the same litter, and one died of cancer, and she wanted another cuddly cat. The other cat is somewhat aloof, unlike Thomas and her former cat. Thomas and Lily just get so tense around each other. We've tried a lot of different things, and none seem to work. He bullies her to point of leaving her face scratched up. It's gotten extreme, and we're always on the look-out for a scuffle when they are around each other. We figured out she only sits on high up chairs and such when he's out. Anyway, we've made it very clear that Thomas coming to live with her family is contingent upon them bringing him back if it is not a good fit. We are committed to making sure Thomas is happy, and that's why we're doing this. Thank you for the advice.

Chelsea

Originally Posted by chelsinator

We've tried a lot of different things, and none seem to work.

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It sounds like you and your husband have already made up your minds. But maybe if you posted a list of the things that you've tried to combat Thomas' undesirable behavior, members who have gone through similar situations can give you some new ideas. It can't hurt, right?

Sometimes people (and I'm certainly not saying you're one of them) say that they've "done everything" and "tried everything" to fix their issues, and it's revealed later on that they haven't even come close to "everything". Or their approach has been faulty at times.

It's great that the cat has a loving new home ready for him. In that situation, I don't think it's at all bad to give him up... particularly since you think both cats will be happier that way. It will be painful at first, but it's a selfless thing to do for the cats. And you'll be able to visit him whenever you want, I'm guessing?

I agree with emmylou. If he has a loving home ready for him to go to, it might be the best all the way around. If this is someone you know, you can even visit him and make sure he is ok. I hate that your husband will lose his cat, but if the cat is unhappy, it is for the best for everyone. If it does not work out, make sure he comes back to you, and maybe other arrangementscan be made, or he may be glad to be back with you and behave himself.

Good luck to your kitty! Very glad you found thomas a good home! hopefully he'll be happier with his brother/sister. As long as he is warm and loved he;ll be happy and your and your other baby can be at peace. Maybe now you'll have room in your home to open your house up to a more docile kitty that needs rescuing. If of course Lily is not the problem

good luck!

Originally Posted by lmunsie

Good luck to your kitty! Very glad you found thomas a good home! hopefully he'll be happier with his brother/sister. As long as he is warm and loved he;ll be happy and your and your other baby can be at peace. Maybe now you'll have room in your home to open your house up to a more docile kitty that needs rescuing. If of course Lily is not the problem

good luck!

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I agree You now have the perfect opportunity to give a senior cat (or even just a younger lazy cat, like my Matilda) a home that needs one.

Glad you offerred to take him back, as there are problems now with a multiple cat household. I would think this cat would need to be placed as an only cat, but cat people seem to mostly have more than one kitty making it even harder to place the cat in another home. Did you make sure they knew the proper introduction rules?