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What to do when life as you know it is about to come to an end?

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Well, maybe not that bad, but for the pain my heart feels right now, it just might as well be the end of the world. Now, before I start this, I am on antidepressants, truthfully, if not for them I'd have gone off the deep end years ago.......
To make a long story short, a few years back we (my mom, dad, husband and I) lost the shoe store that we owned to foreclosure. The bank sold the property, and are currently after us to get the rest of what they're owed. It has gotten so bad that mom and dad filed bankruptcy at the end of last year. Now, we have a letter that come April 29, the bank will have a "sherrif's sale" and sell the 25 acres that we jointly own with my dad.....mind you, my home sits on a tiny corner of that land! We've spent most of the afternoon in the lawyers office, and truthfully, we have three options
1. Bankrupt everything, keep the acreage, and pay almost 600 per month for the next five years (something I don't know how we'll afford).

2. Ask the bank to exclude an acre where home is from the sale, and pay them for it, letting them have the rest, still bankrupting the rest of the note.(loads of other legal mumbojumbo)

3. There is no three, I told my husband coming home, I feel like we're screwed no matter which way we take it and go. All I know is I'm tired of the uncertantity that has plagued us of late, I'm tired of fighting over money, I'm frankly at a loss for words at how I feel about this whole thing......I just feel like life as I have always known it is crashing down around me and I have nowhere to run, nowhere to turn.

For those of you who will berate me for not paying back the bank loan in the first place, the loans were made when things were going good for other improvements, and when the economy started slowing, we just weren't able to make good on those promises, something that I'm truly sorry for.
post #2 of 14
Life happens... We almost lost our home to foreclosure the beginning of this year. Over a year ago I lost my job due to Josh's illness. Before Josh was diagnosed I was the career mom and hubby was the stay-at-home dad... after a year of missing SO much work, my employers got fed up and despite FMLA "laid me off" (read - fired me - heartless )

I was able to collect unemployment and hubby picked up odds and ends jobs, but after that ran out we hit major obstacles. We stressed about it for awhile.

Finally, we came to the conclusion that if we lost the house - so be it - we wouldnt be the first... and it wouldnt be the end of the world - we still had each other. Even if we had to move in with our parents or return to renting...

In the end, the bank ended up working with us and we are now in a deferment plan of sorts. Hubby started truck driving and for the first time in 20 years, I am the stay-at-home-mom!

Our world did a 180... minus the cancer, I wouldnt have it any other way. Things just somehow always seem to work out... even if we cant see it at first.

Hang in there, and good luck in all your decisions!
post #3 of 14
Hon, trust me on this cause I've had similar problems. The world is not over, feels like it, but it will get better. You just keep on hanging in there. Take it one day at a time and whatever happens happens.
post #4 of 14
My husband was supposed his part of our business in January 1983. He was going to retire at the ripe old age of 29.
Then, on July 5th, 1982, the oil industry crashed with the closing of Penn Square Bank. We lost our payroll in the closure, which was bad at the time..... but nothing compared the domino effect of people not able to pay their bills which meant the second group couldn't pay theirs and so on. And they couldn't pay us, we lost our company. No retirement.

We survived it. And I am still proud of the cutbacks that we were able to make and how well we did... and still do.
Our life is much better now than I would have ever believed. Our youngest is about to graduate from college - and none of them owe anything for their education. Our house is paid for, as are our vehicles.

There are always ups and downs. I think the downs, even the bad ones, make us really appreciate the good times.
post #5 of 14
I'm so sorry to hear that. Your story is simply awful!

for your situation to improve!
post #6 of 14
My gosh, it seems things can only go up from here

post #7 of 14
Anybody who's been paying attention for the past thirty years should completely understand how easy is it to get trapped in an impossible financial situation. Financial institutions can get bailed out of their financial trouble at taxpayer expense, but there is no mercy for ordinary working people. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

I wonder if you can arrange a combination of the two options you described...

One Idea: Try to pay the $600 and keep the land (Plan A), with the understanding that if you default on, say, three payments in a row, you automatically go to Plan B -- forfeiting all but the acre your house is on, and buying that acre.

Another Idea: Let them take half the land, and pay them $300 a month so you can keep the other half. This would probably be my choice, if they'd do it: it's only half the financial pressure on you, which should be much more bearable... and you'd still have a nice big chunk of land staying in your family.

But even if you lose every square inch of your land, you'll still have your loved ones, and that's what ultimately matters. And you'll be able to start over without this terrible cloud overhead.

If that happens, then it happens -- try not to look back, because peace of mind is worth a lot. It may even be worth 599 acres, if that's how it has to be. That land has become a burden to you, and you may actually find it a relief to put it down at last.

Oh, I hope this works out for you somehow.
post #8 of 14
Hmmm! What you are saying doesn't sound right to me.

If you claimed bankruptcy from a business, to my knowledge your personal property is protected. Businesses go out of business to bankruptcy every single day, and the company owners still keep their house and cars etc...because it was the business that went bankrupt.

Now on the other hand if you declare personal and business bankruptcy, then they can go after you for the land.

I would seek legal advice pronto about this. If the only reason your parents declared personal bankruptcy was because of the business bankruptcy, that seems wrong. A business bankruptcy is separate and apart from a personal one and by the sounds of things people might have been using illegal means/tactics to bully you guys into paying.....even if it meant pushing you to declare personal bankruptcy to get their hands on the land to sell off.

Get legal advice. Your parents may not have had to declare personal bankruptcy at all!
post #9 of 14
My DH and I were in a similar situation last year!! We had to lose our house, and it royally sucked!!

Hang in there!

PM me if ya ever wanna talk
post #10 of 14
Does the land have some value such as timber which could be logged and and sold to help pay the loan. Leasing out hunting rights. Farmland for crops. I would think land is quite valuable where ever it is. I would have a realtor come out and appraise the land so you can get a sense of its worth.

With the mortgage mess so much in the headlines many banks are working with homeowners on loans I can't imagine any bank not willing to do this.

Do you have anything to sell- cars, furniture, jewelry to raise cash.

Another option it might initially be painful is to have a family meeting with children, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. Have this very soon. Explain the situation to them. Not time to get embarassed over the your situation-it happens. Perhaps a solution can come about.

Good Luck and take care.
post #11 of 14
Why would someone berate you for having a rough period of time? We've all had stuff like this come up, and we are here to help you.

I'd check into getting some legal advice. Go back to the lawyer that did your business BKO, and start asking questions. He should be able to put you on the right path.
post #12 of 14
I really feel for you and hope things can improve soon.

post #13 of 14
I am sorry you are having such a rough time. It must be tought to lose your home. The above posters are right, I would seek a second opinion on the legalities of personal and business bankruptcy. I am not very knowlegdeable about such things, but in some places you must be allowed to have a chance to save your primary residence, and keep your primary vehicle so you can get to work.
I don't think anyone here would berate you for having a tough time. We have all had tough times of some kind, and anyone that has shared this very personal info here has recieved nothing but well wishes and hopefully some good advice. I know it must feel like your world is coming to an end, but as long as you have your loved ones, you have not lost everything. I hope you can find a way to work things out. Vibes, prayers, hugs, and well wishes from me, and I am sure many others here.
post #14 of 14
Anyone who hasn't been there hasn't lived, I figure.

In Texas, the only way you can lose your house is if you don't pay the payments on it or the taxes on it. Used to be you couldn't even increase your indebtedness. If we had kept that law, we would be immune to the current mortgage problems. As it is, we're not affected much.

We had to sell our first house when my wife lost her job, back in 1980. Managed to sell it to an investor, took the profit, paid off all our bills. But it wasn't pleasant.
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