Hi there, new to the forum, thought we'd post since we have an ongoing problem. We have two cats, Fred and Calypso, Fred is roughly 2, Calypso 3, and she's the bigger one. Both are spayed/neutered.
Calypso has been with my g/f since she was a kitten, and may have some "mommy issues", since she's demonstrated that she does very poorly when "mom" is gone for a while. She likes to hide, and while she used to be very playful, she abruptly stopped playing when Fred joined the household. She's also become very protective of new toys, she will run off with a new toy to her hiding spot (often in a closet) and wrestle with it frantically for an hour, then calm down.
Fred joined the household a little later, and is a bit... oblivious, at times. The problem is that Fred likes to fight with Calypso, play-fighting like kittens, swatting and wrestling, pouncing, sometimes stalking her, but Calypso isn't having it: She growls, hisses, swats, sometimes runs and takes the high ground somewhere, but usually just tries to flee. Once, she actually pinned him down and had Fred howling, but usually does not assert herself that way.
Sometimes they act normally together, they'll groom each other or sleep together once in a while, but sometimes entire days will go by with Calypso hostile to Fred, getting to the point where she growls or hisses at the sight of him. Lately, trying to break this behavior, I've been grabbing Fred and scolding him, then reinforcing the improved behavior, but I think I had more success by playing with him to distract him. The odd thing is, Calypso will come in and watch us play, as if she wants to play, too, but not with Fred. Fred usually sleeps in bed with us at night, as well, and Calypso will sometimes come in when Fred goes out, but will take off when Fred reappears or they will have a confrontation near the door. Once or twice, the confrontation has happened in bed with my g/f in it, as well.
I'm not sure what's going on here, and hope somebody might have some experience with similar issues. Is Fred trying to play and just lacking the social skills to realize Calypso isn't taking it that way, or is he trying to dominate Calypso and take her space/toys out of some kind of jealousy, or both? What can we do to help make Calypso feel more comfortable so she can play and not stress out? Thanks for any input.
Calypso has been with my g/f since she was a kitten, and may have some "mommy issues", since she's demonstrated that she does very poorly when "mom" is gone for a while. She likes to hide, and while she used to be very playful, she abruptly stopped playing when Fred joined the household. She's also become very protective of new toys, she will run off with a new toy to her hiding spot (often in a closet) and wrestle with it frantically for an hour, then calm down.
Fred joined the household a little later, and is a bit... oblivious, at times. The problem is that Fred likes to fight with Calypso, play-fighting like kittens, swatting and wrestling, pouncing, sometimes stalking her, but Calypso isn't having it: She growls, hisses, swats, sometimes runs and takes the high ground somewhere, but usually just tries to flee. Once, she actually pinned him down and had Fred howling, but usually does not assert herself that way.
Sometimes they act normally together, they'll groom each other or sleep together once in a while, but sometimes entire days will go by with Calypso hostile to Fred, getting to the point where she growls or hisses at the sight of him. Lately, trying to break this behavior, I've been grabbing Fred and scolding him, then reinforcing the improved behavior, but I think I had more success by playing with him to distract him. The odd thing is, Calypso will come in and watch us play, as if she wants to play, too, but not with Fred. Fred usually sleeps in bed with us at night, as well, and Calypso will sometimes come in when Fred goes out, but will take off when Fred reappears or they will have a confrontation near the door. Once or twice, the confrontation has happened in bed with my g/f in it, as well.
I'm not sure what's going on here, and hope somebody might have some experience with similar issues. Is Fred trying to play and just lacking the social skills to realize Calypso isn't taking it that way, or is he trying to dominate Calypso and take her space/toys out of some kind of jealousy, or both? What can we do to help make Calypso feel more comfortable so she can play and not stress out? Thanks for any input.
