Maybe the set-up of the house I grew up in had something to do with it, but my room was my room. There were three rooms on the second floor: one was my brother's, one was my sister's, and one was mine. My parents rarely came up there, and it never ocurred to me that they would ever go through my things. In fact, I'm sure they didn't.
I was raised in an atmosphere of trust and respect. In high school, I definitely lied to my parents, I used to slip out my window, and I started smoking cigarettes, drinking and smoked pot. But I always got good grades, I 'fessed up about the things I did behind their back in high school when I was in college, and I became a responsible adult. If they were going through my things, I'd just have found someplace else to hang out or keep "my stash," so the privacy thing to me has little to do with what kids decide to do down the road.
I think that giving kids their privacy is important, and if it's something they haven't had but then ask for, then I think they should have it. It certainly seems like he deserves it. And in the end, being a good mom and teaching the boys about respect by example will win out - IMO.
I talked to Justice this afternoon. We made a deal. I won't allow Deacon in his room unsupervised. Of course, we have to walk through there to get to the backdoor so it can't be totally "off limits". I wanted Justice to have that room over Deacon because I can trust him to not go outside in the middle of the night to hunt crickets
We also made the agreement that I would get him "Do Not Disturb" signs to go on his doors.
When he wants his privacy, he can put those on his door knobs. (He has 2 doors going into his room. One from the kitchen, one from the bathroom)
When those signs are hung, we knock first!
One thing I didn't agree on was locks on his doors. I don't think it's safe.
I wouldn't have access to him if there was a fire or other emergency.