To go or not to go?

dixie_darlin

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
8,031
Purraise
4
Location
Pinellas Park, Florida
That is the question


A "friend" of mine is having a baby shower and messaged me on myspace wanting my new address to where she can send the invitation.
Problem is, back in September '07 I loaned her some money (more then I should have
) and I never seen or heard from her again.
Matter of fact, a mutual friend tried to even get back for me since she wasn't returning my calls and at the time I could have really used the money.
I'm debating on giving her my address. Especially since she's the "mooching" type and I know she would be over here all the time asking me to babysit once the baby is born.

I really, really want to say something about the money she owes me but I know I'll never see it


Should I be the "better" person and let it go and attend her baby shower or should I just ignore her?



Oh and FYI, I've known her since we were 16 but we weren't exactly best friends.
 

rosiemac

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 3, 2003
Messages
54,358
Purraise
100
Location
ENGLAND... LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY!
I'd say " Thanks for the invite, but i'm afraid i have other plans that date, and btw is there any chance you could sent my money back because i've recently moved house and i need it to decorate it with".

Then just give her your bank details and say she can pay it in there without having to give your adress away, and say if she doesn't want to do it that way you could pop over for a coffee and collect it then
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #4

dixie_darlin

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
8,031
Purraise
4
Location
Pinellas Park, Florida
Originally Posted by Rosiemac

I'd say " Thanks for the invite, but i'm afraid i have other plans that date, and btw is there any chance you could sent my money back because i've recently moved house and i need it to decorate it with".

Then just give her your bank details and say she can pay it in there without having to give your adress away, and say if she doesn't want to do it that way you could pop over for a coffee and collect it then
That's a really good idea Susan!


I think I will tell her she can drop it off at my mom's house or mail it there.
I don't want her having my address. She's loud, rude, pushy and all in all, obnoxious!
She cusses like a sailor and doesn't respect that I have 2 kids here that are always withen hearing range.


I could go on and on
 

lunasmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
8,801
Purraise
12
Location
Jersey Shore
I would tell her no.

You're right in saying that she's just looking for another handout. Moochers aren't worth my time (or money).

If you feel uncomfortable or unsure, give her your new address and then kindly say that's the same day you're having a housewarming party (even if she doesn't tell you the day
)
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

dixie_darlin

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
8,031
Purraise
4
Location
Pinellas Park, Florida
Originally Posted by lunasmom

I would tell her no.

You're right in saying that she's just looking for another handout. Moochers aren't worth my time (or money).

If you feel uncomfortable or unsure, give her your new address and then kindly say that's the same day you're having a housewarming party (even if she doesn't tell you the day
)
I like that!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8

dixie_darlin

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
8,031
Purraise
4
Location
Pinellas Park, Florida
Originally Posted by Rosiemac

The poor child, what he/she has to come into this world to
I know. It's sad

Out of all my friends in high school, she was the last person who needs a child
 

kaylacat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
1,831
Purraise
1
Location
Toledo,Ohio
I wouldn't go. It sounds like she is the type of person that you don't need in your life.
 

gailc

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
11,567
Purraise
13
Location
Wisconsin
So have you heard from her since you loaned her the money or is this the first time??

Tell you she can deduct $20-$25 from what she owes you for her shower present!!

"Friends" like this person you don't need.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #11

dixie_darlin

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
8,031
Purraise
4
Location
Pinellas Park, Florida
Originally Posted by GailC

So have you heard from her since you loaned her the money or is this the first time??

Tell you she can deduct $20-$25 from what she owes you for her shower present!!

"Friends" like this person you don't need.
This is the first time I've heard from her.
When I loaned her the money she said it was because she was out of a job and her electric was going to be shut off. It was 2 months behind.
I told her she could pay me back out of her next 2 paychecks.

The next Friday I tried to call her to get part of the money back. She never answered or called back. This went on for 2 months. Finally, I gave up.
When I got in a bind and really needed the money back, I talked to a mutual friend.
Turned out she owes him money too but not quite as much.
He was able to get in contact with her and told her she needed to pay me before him.
She never called either of us back until now
 

whuckleberry

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jan 17, 2007
Messages
1,090
Purraise
1
Location
Massachusetts USA
I agree with the suggestion of messaging back and asking about the money. I'm amazed she even contacted you without mentioning it! Some people have nerve.
 

goldenkitty45

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 29, 2005
Messages
19,900
Purraise
44
Location
SW Minnesota
I'd just ask where the shower is, what time, and whether or not you will attend - if you don't need an official invitatoin, then all she needs to do is to give you the info.

That way she doesn't have your address, but you can attend. Give a small gift for the baby - its about the baby - not her.

And, unfortunately, you probably won't see the money - easiest way to make relatives and friends vanish is to loan them money. But don't loan them more then you can afford to NOT get it back
 

trouts mom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2006
Messages
23,949
Purraise
16
Location
Snowy Santa Land
Originally Posted by whuckleberry

I agree with the suggestion of messaging back and asking about the money. I'm amazed she even contacted you without mentioning it! Some people have nerve.
Like, "come to my shower, gift me a gift.." when she owes YOU money? Some people
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #16

dixie_darlin

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
8,031
Purraise
4
Location
Pinellas Park, Florida
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

I'd just ask where the shower is, what time, and whether or not you will attend - if you don't need an official invitatoin, then all she needs to do is to give you the info.

That way she doesn't have your address, but you can attend. Give a small gift for the baby - its about the baby - not her.

And, unfortunately, you probably won't see the money - easiest way to make relatives and friends vanish is to loan them money. But don't loan them more then you can afford to NOT get it back
I know it's for the baby and not her but what kills me is she sent a link of where she is registered.
Out of curiousity, I checked it out.
She has Dvd players, kitchen towels, baby towels, bras, rocking chair, bassinet, crib sheets, bottles, DVDs, candlesticks, candle holders, tart burners... etc
Alot of what she has listed is for her not the baby.
That in itself upsets me.
I might might send a gift with a friend but I don't think I'm going to attend.
 

white cat lover

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
22,206
Purraise
35
I'd message her back on myspace & flat out tell her...

"I'll come to your shower if you pay me back what you owe first"

Then again, I'm a rude person like that!
 

sammiesmom

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
250
Purraise
1
Location
Tampa Bay, Florida
Ahhh, and once again she comes to you with her hand out?

Ummm, no, I don't think so. I don't think I would go, nor would I even send a gift, but that is just me.

I saw a quote somewhere similar to:

"If you loan a friend $50 and never see them again, it was money well spent."

Consider this a lesson learned. You found out who she really is and you know she is not a friend.

I'm sorry you experienced this.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #19

dixie_darlin

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
8,031
Purraise
4
Location
Pinellas Park, Florida
Originally Posted by white cat lover

I'd message her back on myspace & flat out tell her...

"I'll come to your shower if you pay me back what you owe first"

Then again, I'm a rude person like that!
I usually am too but I was trying to be adult about.


Originally Posted by SammiesMom

Ahhh, and once again she comes to you with her hand out?

Ummm, no, I don't think so. I don't think I would go, nor would I even send a gift, but that is just me.

I saw a quote somewhere similar to:

"If you loan a friend $50 and never see them again, it was money well spent."

Consider this a lesson learned. You found out who she really is and you know she is not a friend.

I'm sorry you experienced this.
She acts like the world is owed to her!
 

worriedmommy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 10, 2007
Messages
2,347
Purraise
1
Location
Knee deep in cat litter
Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

That's a really good idea Susan!


I think I will tell her she can drop it off at my mom's house or mail it there.
I don't want her having my address. She's loud, rude, pushy and all in all, obnoxious!
She cusses like a sailor and doesn't respect that I have 2 kids here that are always withen hearing range.


I could go on and on
Gee, she sounds like she will be such a wonderful mother.
(ok, they do not have a big enough icon of rolling eyes to go with this comment.
)
 
Top