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Not cat related,but need help !

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Dilemma-NEED opinions !

Long post ! But I'm sobbing ( and rambling ! ) as I type, so please bare with me - I need your opinions !

Last year in June and July, I fought so hard to save the life of a pony, who I knew for many years, and as the owner refused to pay livery costs, the retirement place in Wales wanted to shoot her.

With the help of Chev from here, who I met on this board, I was put in touch with the Veteran Horse Society ( my pony's 25 now ), and the pony was signed over to me, and she was saved. It turned out to be a bit of a rescue and she was retreived in a bit of a bad way. At the time. I was suffering from chronic depression, and the fight for my pony pulled me back on the road. I feel I owe my pony my life.

Anyway, much to my delight - it was like a miracle - my pony was rehomed on Permanent Loan, only 20 minutes away to a lovely family of all adults, who's life's ambition was to own a pony of her breed. They love her to bits, and they have done so very much for her, she looks fantastic, and is clearly healthy and happy. They are really nice people and I get on very well with them.

Now the dilemma. Before she was rescued, in a space of a year, she had 9 different loaners, and several different homes. When I agreed to rehome her to this family, who I get on very well with, I really thought this would be her last home - and her home for life. They gave me no impression that they would ever leave.
My world and my pony's were more or less perfect, and I dreamed of watching her spend the rest of her life, in that very same place.

Then last night, my bubble was burst. Less than 7 months on, I am faced with a decison. The family want to move - they were badly flooded out in January and cannot take that again. They want to take my pony with them - they've already made transportation cost enquiries, so by the Autumn they will have gone. I haven't stopped crying. I don't know what to do for the best.

For the last 7 months, I have seen my pony daily, even if just from across the field, - I didn't visit every week, because I didn't want to invade or interfere, even though I long to hug her and groom her every day. By pure chance, I now even work in a mail order company next to her field. I yell goodnight to her every night when I drive by her field, and I took it for granted that that is just where she'd be all her life. She is my pride, and joy and daily pick-me-up. I can't imagine not seeing her so often. I've been with her for the past 13 years. Even got a job on her yard to be with her, to make sure she was loved, and looked after, until she was sent to that awful 'retirement' place in Wales.
I was the only stable thing in her life.

I love her soooo very much, but am not in a position to look after her myself, physically and financially - hence the permanent loan. If they take her with them, I'll be lucky if I see her more than twice a year, inspite of promises of photos, and camcorder footage. She'd be two and a half hours away drive, and ferry ride away, and the ferry is very expensive.

If I find her a home closer to me, and they leave, I can still make sure she is ok. I save my own heart from breaking...probably - but break their whole family's - they do love her to bits - and her field/stable mate, their 40 (?) year old horse's, heart. If I let them take her, I lose her on all but paper, and not see her more than a couple of times a year. And what also fills me with terror - even if it's irrational, because no one ever knows when - is that when her time comes, I doubt I'll have the opportunity to say goodbye.

So what would you do ??? Break a whole family's heart, or break your own ??? Please help !

Thanks for reading all this.

Peace, Love, and Happiness, Always

post #2 of 6
Sonia, what a horrible dilemma to be in.

Situation A : You find a new home for the pony.

** Hurt the family that so graciously rehomed your animal.

** The new home may not be so nice and may not be as lasting as this one.

** You may not even get along with the new people who take on the pony.

Situation B : You let the family take the animal with them.

** You do not get to see her, but you know that she is well cared for and has a permanent home.

** You still have a chance to visit her, but not as often.

Which situation can you handle emotionally? Which decision will you be able to live with? Would you be able to move closer to where the new home will be and find a job there?

I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you, but when emotions are involved it's never cut and dry.

post #3 of 6
I think in a situation like this, you have to follow your heart.

If they end up moving with the pony, maybe you could ask them to send you photos and keep in touch about how she is doing. At least then, you wouldn't be totally removed from her.

Good luck with whatever you decide... you are an angel for caring so much about this pony.
post #4 of 6
Sonia, this is a heartbreaking decision. My advice would be to think of what would be the best for the pony. I know it would be difficult to let her go, but it sounds like she's in a very good family right now who love her tons, she has a cohort in their other horse, and it sounds like you are sure they take very good care of her. Could you find another family who would give her all this? Is it worth having her go through another family change?

Really, I can only offer (((((HUGS))))) during this difficult time for you.
post #5 of 6
Being a horse owner myself, you have my heart during this time.

I could never imagine my two horses ever becoming separated, but for a brief time they were. I lost my one horse for over a year, and the effect on all of us was monstrous. When the two of them were finally reunited it was a joyous occassion and I vowed they would stay together from now on, no matter what. I also found out from the people who had my other horse, that he too suffered in many ways from the separation.

After reading your emotional posting, I would say that where your pony is now, he should stay with this family that have proved themselves. I would, before they leave, have papers drawn up- a buy-back clause, where you will be notified if EVER they decide that they A. No longer want him
B. Can no longer afford him
c. He becomes to ill and they have to make that awful decision horse owners are forced to make from time to time.

Make it clear that you want to be notified as soon as possible, should these issues come up, as you only have the best of intentions for the welfare of this pony. Tell them, you will do everything in your power to secure another home for him if this becomes necessary Then just spend as much time as you can with him before he leaves (he will never forget you) and just blow in his nostrils, hug his velvet neck and cry all over him, but leave him with the family that wants to care for him.

Best of luck!
post #6 of 6
I think Hissy has given you some excellent advice here. I will say a prayer for you in what ever decision you make...I know this is hard for you and I am so sorry you are having to be faced with this. We are here for you if you need to talk about it more. I am sure you will make the best decision and follow your heart!
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