My boyfriend has a bad habit of saying whatever's on his mind, which can sometimes be sort of bad...
I really want children. I looove babies and want 2-4.
My boyfriend knows this, acknowledges that nursing is a good career for me because it's easy to combine with motherhood, we talk about moving out of the city to raise kids, where we'd send them to school etc.
He says "in theory" kids sound great.
But then he'll start to panic (he's a big worrier) about how much kids cost, how much sleep and time you lose, what if we never have sex again, what if there's something wrong with our kids, what if we have a girl and some guy gets her pregnant or hurts her? etc...
Then he starts to panic that maybe having kids isn't worth it.
And says that he definitely doesn't have a strong desire to have kids right now. Which is fine, I'm only 26, I'm in nursing school, and we're not even married.
I just want to make sure that he'll want them in 4 years or so, and that he'll love being a father once he is one.
But how do I predict that?! When I ask him if he'll ever want kids his answer is usually "sure, in theory".
Then I think he gets offended when I say "I must have children" cause he feels I should want to marry him for him, not potential children, and he doesn't want to be viewed as a sperm donor/financial supporter for my children. I think he worries I'd divorce him if he was infertile or something.
Is he nuts? Or do lots of men have these anxieties?
Are there actually men out there who know they 100% want children and gush over babies? Or is that just women?
I think Chris will be a great father (he's a great kitty father!) and that he would surprise himself by how into fatherhood he would get once the baby was actually born.
But it's sort of a gamble. If he decided it's not worth it, you can't give the baby back!
I want to be with a man who really wants to have children.
But I don't want to break up with Chris just because he expressed a little anxiety (being anxious is part of who he is. He'll complain about how much a vacation costs, but then go and have a great time!)
How do the men in your lives feel about fatherhood both before they had kids and after?
I really want children. I looove babies and want 2-4.
My boyfriend knows this, acknowledges that nursing is a good career for me because it's easy to combine with motherhood, we talk about moving out of the city to raise kids, where we'd send them to school etc.
He says "in theory" kids sound great.
But then he'll start to panic (he's a big worrier) about how much kids cost, how much sleep and time you lose, what if we never have sex again, what if there's something wrong with our kids, what if we have a girl and some guy gets her pregnant or hurts her? etc...
Then he starts to panic that maybe having kids isn't worth it.
And says that he definitely doesn't have a strong desire to have kids right now. Which is fine, I'm only 26, I'm in nursing school, and we're not even married.
I just want to make sure that he'll want them in 4 years or so, and that he'll love being a father once he is one.
But how do I predict that?! When I ask him if he'll ever want kids his answer is usually "sure, in theory".
Then I think he gets offended when I say "I must have children" cause he feels I should want to marry him for him, not potential children, and he doesn't want to be viewed as a sperm donor/financial supporter for my children. I think he worries I'd divorce him if he was infertile or something.
Is he nuts? Or do lots of men have these anxieties?
Are there actually men out there who know they 100% want children and gush over babies? Or is that just women?
I think Chris will be a great father (he's a great kitty father!) and that he would surprise himself by how into fatherhood he would get once the baby was actually born.
But it's sort of a gamble. If he decided it's not worth it, you can't give the baby back!
I want to be with a man who really wants to have children.
But I don't want to break up with Chris just because he expressed a little anxiety (being anxious is part of who he is. He'll complain about how much a vacation costs, but then go and have a great time!)
How do the men in your lives feel about fatherhood both before they had kids and after?