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Can you change your luck?

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Just had to have a moan as i cant believe the bad things that have happened over the last year+.
In February of 2007 my step dad died suddenly the day after my birthday.
Then in April i found out my husband was having a affair,and after threatning me and my son we both had to move in with my (still greiving mum).
In september after a lot of nasty behaviour from my ex i finally got divorced,and was giving a house .
I also found out that he had ran of with our savings!

3 days after christmas my dad passed away suddenly.

Then in february my cat became very ill,but thankfully after a long stay at the vets and huge bills managed to pull through,altho may have fip.

Then i woke up one morning covered in a rash which i still have and was diagnosed as stress,so am taking medication for.

And then yesterday i woke up to find our gerbil had died.
He would have been 5 next month.
But my son is really struggling to cope with all this (he has adhd,tourettes,and attachment disorder) among other things.

So what do i tell him when he says "why do we have so much bad luck?".

Sorry but had to rant as really fed up at the moment.
post #2 of 15
Sending over good luck . Hope things get better this year.
post #3 of 15
Just ride the storm and you'll get there.

Nov 2005 i lost my eldest brother to cancer, 6 months later my estranged husband died, 4 months later my 35 year old nephew ( The son of the brother that died) was killed in a car crash, then 2 weeks before christmas my youngest brother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and we don't think he'll be here long

It's really hard because i said what's going to be thrown at us next?, but you just carry on as best you can by taking one day at a time and you will turn the corner
post #4 of 15
First, I'm sorry for all your losses that seemed to happen in a short time. While it might seem like "bad luck" - I personally don't believe in good or bad.

First, God doesn't give us situations that we cannot handle. Its to challange us and make us grow. So its "opportunities" to help us.

And its more of how your mind set is - if you "think" you have bad luck, you will have it; if you "think" you'll have good luck, you will.

Sometimes we focus too much on the negative things and what you focus on will happen. Then it seems like "bad luck for me in anything".

I tell people this - if you really think your life is bad or you are having all bad happen in a short time, then read the story of Job in the Bible - no one has gone thru what he did - and he was a good person
post #5 of 15
I'm so sorry for this sad time in your lives... it can seem like things pile up and you get more than your share of sorrow. Sometimes there are reasons for it, of course -- as I've gotten older, for example, so have the people I know, and inevitably, I'm losing people more often than I once did. Or if you have a lot of friends or a large family, just the sheer number of people in your life makes it more likely that you will know someone who passes unexpectedly.

But I don't think for a moment that your family is suffering some kind of cosmic jinx -- surely that's not the way a supreme being would conduct things. And I don't think anybody is throwing adversity at you to see how much you can take, either. That seems cruel and juvenile.

I think these clusters of losses are just random chance, occasionally abetted by perfectly real and comprehensible influences. For example, when someone passes away, the stress of the loss may put his or her loved ones at greater risk for heart attack or stroke. It's a terrible thing, when tragic events fall so close together -- but I don't think it's "bad luck."

So what I would say to your little one is that everybody goes through times in their lives when a lot of bad things seem to come along all at once, and it's really sad when that happens... but it doesn't stay that way. Things do get better, and you have happy times, too. So you just have to hang on tight and trust that the good times are coming back soon.

And I think I'd also say that even during the sad times, you can find happy things to hold onto. Even when you've had to say goodbye to your gerbil, you can remember how cute he was and how much fun you had with him, and those memories will always be yours to enjoy.

Gosh, I hope some part of that is helpful. Please give your little guy a hug from me.
post #6 of 15
Hang in there and it will get better.
post #7 of 15
post #8 of 15
All I can say is that sometimes when it rains it pours. Remember though that the sun HAS to come out for at least one day.

I'm sorry to hear of your year of bad luck. Unfortunately bad luck is as much as part of life as the good...without bad or good we would never be able to cherish the things inbetween.
post #9 of 15
Wow, I'm so sorry your year was so bad. I can see why you are stressed!

It just seems like everything happens one after the other sometimes. One time when I was going through a rough period (my dad died, two weeks later my boyfriend moved out to live with a bimbo, my cat was missing, no power for a month) my boss said something so wise. He said "it's the rough times that make us realize how good the good times are". It's simple, but it's true. How else are we going to measure happiness if we don't have something to compare it to.

I don't know if there's a way you can explain it that way to your son. I'm sure all this has been so hard on him, and worrying about him is probably making it worse for you. I hope things get better for you.
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the advice.
Yesterday i booked a holidasy for next weekend and thought 'Right ....now things will get better.'

This morning i got up at 6 am to find my sadie collapsed on the floor in the bathroom with no use of her back legs at all.
She is now in the vets but they dont know whats wrong and think it may be brain damage.
They are treating her with steriods but it doesent look good.

The strange thing is she had a flu jab yesterday and they think this caused the neurological problems ..
post #11 of 15
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Sadie. I am so sorry.

Life has so many twists and turns and sometimes it just seems so unfair. I know that I also had a very rough time 6years ago when my ex husband was having an affair. He threatened my life and I took the cats and some of my personal belongings to a friends. In the mean time he moved the woman in my house(she is now his wife!!). He also took all of our savings. I had no money, lost my home and lost everything in the divorce. I was knocked off my feet and literally had to rebuild my whole life. My 6 cats and I had to live in a closed bedroom for 8 months. I had to sleep on the floor for the first 4 months of this ordeal. The stress we went through was awful. Honestly I thought I was never going to see light at the end of the tunnel. I always kept my mind focused on positive thoughts. Change is very hard and when it's dealt to you in such a drastic way it is overwhelming and it is very easy to have negative thoughts. Life is a test and some of us get some real hard ones.

Fast forward 6 years. My life has done a total change. I am very happily married to a wonderful man. My cats are happy, my life is simple and I learned alot from my ordeal.

I am so sorry you have had to endure so many things in a such a short time. It will turn around for you.
post #12 of 15
Originally Posted by lunasmom View Post
All I can say is that sometimes when it rains it pours. Remember though that the sun HAS to come out for at least one day.
And the sun is always shining bright above the clouds

Hang in there
post #13 of 15
I'm sorry things aren't going well for you. Just hang in there.
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
just to let you know sadie wa p.t.s this morning

Thanks for your kind words
post #15 of 15
I am so sorry you have been through this whole ordeal. Sometimes it is hard to tell where one thing ends and the next one begins. I hope things get better for you soon.
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