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Goodbye Spaz

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Spaz. He was a tabby kitten of 6 months. I write this with a great big hole in my heart... as most of you have all felt.
Spaz was unique. I will miss him and everything that he did. Each and every room in my apartment has memories of him. Be it the bathroom where he would sit and watch you have a shower and then get in the tub after and try and lick up some of the water, and even sometimes slip and fall ontop of you in the bath.
Or in my office.... where he would come and see me when I would be working late at night on homework. He would enter the room and stop and wait for me to see him. Once I saw him his eyes would brighten and hed wait for me to call him over. When I called him he would prance towards me, attempt to meow (he couldnt meow) and then jump on my lap. He would instantly be happy and purr and step up my chest to rub against the stubble on my chin. I made a bet for him and his sister in one of my drawers. He loved it in there and slept there all of the time.
In my bedroom he would wake me and my gf up on call at 7 in the morning with purrs and rubs on our faces. He would nibble at our cheeks to try and get us up and then lay over our faces if we still didn't get up.
He loved his treats and when you shook the container hed come prancing to the kitchen.

We thought he was getting better today. My gf gave him his injection of antibiotics. About a minute later I woke up to him letting out a yell (this will haunt me forever), my gf then yelled for me to come quick. She was in a panic. He was laying on the couch twitching. I grabbed him and lifted him up and he threw up some dark coffee ground looking stuff (been told it was blood). He was stuggling to breath and I looked in his mouth to try and get whatever was blocking his breathing out. I couldnt see anything so I had to sit there and hold him in my arms as he slowly died. He suffocated and I felt his heart slowly stop. I saw the fear in his eyes. I couldnt do anything... all I could do was tell him that I was sorry and that I loved him.

This was the most traumatic experience for me in my life.
I love my pets like they are my kin.
He leaves a sister behind and im not sure how she is going to take it.

I feel so lost and empty. I feel like I need to do something but I don't know what. I can't sleep and I feel sick to my stomach. All I can do is picture the look on his face and I keep hearing his yell. I keep thinking back to times when I ignored him or yelled at him for knocking something down... I feel so quilty.

What can I do to get past this? I lost a dog when I was younger (10 yrs ago) but I didnt think of her as my own kin.

Exams are comming up in the next few weeks at university and I don't know what I can do. Im uttlerly heartbroken. I just wish he was still alive. He was too young to die.

Thanks everyone
post #2 of 13
I'm so sorry for your loss of your friend Spaz. I just lost one of my cats yesterday, TommyBoy and know of the empty whole in your heart that you are now feeling. I watched my big boy slip away, as I rushed him to the ER vet. As I drove off in the car, I heard him cry out, as if to say goodbye and then watched as life slipped away from his beautiful green eyes. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. May Spaz now be free playing at the bridge and may he feel comfort in Gods loving arms.
post #3 of 13
So sorry about your Cat. I hope your other Cat will be ok. When Stormy was Pts last year Meeko became very upset and refused to eat. then I lost Meekos Son last Jan and Meeko refused to eat again. I took her to the Vet to get Blood Tests then she ended up sick with a high fever and infection. If you ever need to talk you can Pm me. I lost 2 Cats within 35 days of each other.
post #4 of 13
your tribute to Spaz was beautiful, as i'm sure he was. for poor young Spaz, taken too soon... & for you...
post #5 of 13
Oh the poor baby, i'm so sorry

Play happy at the bridge Spaz

post #6 of 13
I`m so sorry you both had to go through that

Rest in Peace little Spaz
post #7 of 13
Oh gosh, I am so sorry. It breaks my heart to read what you went through in his last moments

May Spaz rest in peace
post #8 of 13
I am so sorry for your loss! RIP Spaz
post #9 of 13
Rest in peace little Spaz. You were greatly loved during your short time here.
post #10 of 13
condolences on your tragic loss of Spaz. You were very brave to hold and comfort him as he passed from this life to the other side. Rest assured that your love lit his way to the path over Rainbow Bridge and he plays with the angels now.
Sending prayers and vibes that his sister adjusts to the loss and that your gf & you find comfort and healing in your memories of your little treasure, Spaz.
post #11 of 13
Nothing 'I' can say will ease things, although, i felt 'I' was the only cat mad guy on this forum LOL.
When I lost 'Poppy' a year ago my experience was similar. I almost sat and watched her fade out, my big regret was going to bed for an hour that night, she was gone when i awoke.......she went alone in the dark and i'll never forgive myself for that.

RIP 'SPAZ' (what a wicked name ) , lets hope he's playing with 'Pops' and they too can laugh at how stupid their Dads are.

Keep ya chin up fella.
post #12 of 13
wow that was a horrible experience for all. That stuff just breaks my heart. Sorry for the loss. i know the pain.
post #13 of 13
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. Rest in Peace Spaz.
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