May my mother rest in peace

I just came back from the from the visitation and there were so many people that came to include all of my co-workers. There were 3 pages full of names.

If you would like to see the pictures send me a PM and I'll send you the link.

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. we're here for you! please take care of yourself.

i'm very sorry for your loss

So sorry to hear of your loss. Your message was a wonderful tribute to a wonderful person. Nothing can make the loss easier, I hope you manage to find some peace at this time.

Sorry for your loss. It seems she was suffering and she's in a much better place now...I'm sure of it.

I am so very sorry.

I had to look for a sewing book since my mom has a very nice brown jacket and I have a nice pair of brown dress pants, but they are too long. I always have problems remembering how to thread the sewing machine.

I found a book at the mall, but also checked at Hobby Lobby. I couldn't stay long because it just brought back too many memories. My mom could do it all so we were always in there.

I also attempted to make my first german cheesecake without her. I hope it comes out ok because the last time I did one was July and she walked me through it.

Originally Posted by Duchess15

I also attempted to make my first german cheesecake without her. I hope it comes out ok because the last time I did one was July and she walked me through it.

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Just practice...and I bet you do well at it faster than I have with my two grandmother's desserts -took me years to finally get that what was special about my one grandmother's apple pies were the nothern spy apples that were from two trees on her property. Nothing like the taste of a northern spy apple

You'll do it again and again until it finally matches the memories, you will get it

Originally Posted by Pat & Alix

Just practice...and I bet you do well at it faster than I have with my two grandmother's desserts -took me years to finally get that what was special about my one grandmother's apple pies were the nothern spy apples that were from two trees on her property. Nothing like the taste of a northern spy apple

You'll do it again and again until it finally matches the memories, you will get it

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I sure hope so. Now trying to sew up my pants is another issue in itself. I wish I would have paid more attention when she was teaching me.

I'm very sorry about your Mom. She will live on in your heart & in you.

So sorry to hear about your mom. She was beautiful. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayer.

I'm sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

We just came home from the funeral and I have to say that it wasn't anything like I expected. I'm used to the ones in Germany and I wasn't very impressed with the actual cemetary, but it's the best there is in this area.

The headstones are so close together that it looks like you walk on someone else's grave to get to the one you want. There is no individual space or personality between them. It makes me sad to think of what she could have had and what she is getting.

Another difference is that you do not stay for the actual burial. In Germany, I remember everyone putting a flower on the casket before they covered the grave with dirt. Here where I live, you don't even stay for the burial.

When I get pictures taken of my mom, I'll try to post one from her and one of my grandparents and you can see the difference. I am rather disappointed and it just adds to all the stress.

Really? I prefer the Cemetaries in Italy, they are very beautiful, clean and well preserved, it is though out of cement and not dirt.


the ones around frankfurt and in some other cities ive seen are just grass, some with just a cross no name, no photo.... no stone, no special message.

Originally Posted by Duchess15

We just came home from the funeral and I have to say that it wasn't anything like I expected. I'm used to the ones in Germany and I wasn't very impressed with the actual cemetary, but it's the best there is in this area.

The headstones are so close together that it looks like you walk on someone else's grave to get to the one you want. There is no individual space or personality between them. It makes me sad to think of what she could have had and what she is getting.

Another difference is that you do not stay for the actual burial. In Germany, I remember every putting a flower on the casket before they covered the grave with dirt. Here where I live, you don't even stay for the burial.

When I get pictures taken of my mom, I'll try to post one from her and one of my grandparents and you can see the difference. I am rather disappointed and it just adds to all the stress.

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I know just what you mean, but at least the graves in the U.S. are usually permanent. Here in Germany you can "personalize" them with plants, borders, candles, photos, etc., but due to a lack of space the graves are usually re-used after 10, 20 or 30 years, unless the cemetery is of "historical interest".

Oh i'm so sorry it's not what you thought it would be. In the UK we stay for the burial as well.

Try and not let it upset you though because you know your mums in a much nicer place, heaven

The two that I have been to in Germany, my grandparents, and my aunt's parents are VERY nice and so peaceful. I'll post pictures tomorrow when I go back to get some flowers and to see where she is.

BTW, my cheesecake came out really good so that was a plus.

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your Mom. She could not have wished for a more loving daughter. Although I have been lurking most of the time, I was sending my hopes along with everybody else that she would recover.

May your Mom rest in peace. She looked such a lovely person from the pictures that you posted. Lots of hugs for you and your Dad.

I've been thinking of you today, hoping the service was a comfort to you. I'm so sorry the cemetery isn't what you hoped for.

But if I understand right, your mom is resting now in one of the official National Cemeteries which are created and maintained by the armed forces strictly for veterans and their families. They are all operated by the same standards as the famous Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia. [Edit: I just checked what you sent me, and I'm mistaken -- yours is a state-run veteran's cemetery, but it appears to follow the same standards as the national ones, and is intended to serve the same purpose.]

In a way, our family felt the same way about the Dallas/Fort Worth National Cemetery, where my father is buried. The precise sameness of every marker was disappointing at first. I guess it's natural that we should want to make our loved one's resting place unique and expressive of who that person was... and that can be done only to a very limited degree in our National Cemeteries.

It's more difficult for you, perhaps, because your mother was not a soldier -- but maybe you'll feel better if you view her grave as the place where your father, too, will someday be laid to rest. When you consider the inclusiveness of military service, the fact that people from all backgrounds and all walks of life come together in the armed forces for a common good, you may be able to see a certain kind of dignity and rightness to the uniformity of a National Cemetery.

I've come to feel that it's right that everyone buried in a National Cemetery is treated equally, regardless of rank or stature or background or family situation. My father, a Lieutenant Colonel, rests between a Corporal and a Sergeant, and his headstone is exactly like theirs. That strikes me as a perfectly American way of doing things. It's an expression of our commitment to equality.

Since our family is not wealthy, we wouldn't have been able to provide a headstone that really reflected what we feel about my father, anyway -- and if we had, my father would have been embarrassed by it, I'm sure. For all his accomplishments, he remained a very humble man, and he dearly loved the enlisted men, the lowest ranks in the Army, the so-called "grunts" who he felt did the riskiest and dirtiest work, but got the least glory.

So I know my father would be happy not to have anything distinguishing about his resting place, aside from the yellow roses we placed there last week. I think he would feel it is special enough to be among his fellow soldiers, in a place that will be protected and cared for with dignity for as long as there's an America.

Does that help you at all? I hope you can come to view your mother's grave as the place of great honor that it is meant to be.

That was a beautiful tribute you wrote of your mother. She was a beautiful woman and your description of her was touching. She lives on in your heart!