I think my 1 year old cat is playing too rough with our new kitten. Help!

Hello!

We have a VERY playful 1 year old Siamese boy named Twyx. We just got a new kitten (shes 10 weeks old now.)named Reese.
We love the fact that Twyx has a companion now but we are worried that his playing is too rough for our little girl.

Often he tries to groom her but then proceeds to bite her on the neck (I think that's normal though right?)

He's relentless in his stalking her and chasing her around and jumping on top of her.
She is so tiny that his paws can wrap right around her body and I'm afraid he's going to hurt her. I think she may be starting to get scared of him.

We are now at the point where we can't leave them alone together because we are worried what might happen.

Is he trying to play with her or hurt her?

What should we do?

Does she cry out or have there been any little scab marks from him biting her?
If not, he's likely just trying to play and doesn't realize how big and strong he is.

10 weeks is rather young, was there a reason why you didn't wait 2-4 more weeks?

Since she's young, I would keep an eye on them and maybe not leave them completely alone together until she gets a few more weeks growth. But other cats do fine with each other in similar situations without owner intervention.

I had a similar concern when my boyfriend's 13 pound all muscle tabby cat came to visit with my two darling petite 5 lb soaking wet little Aby kitties.

What we ended up doing was making sure that there was a spot in every room of the apartment that the Abys could get into that the tabby couldn't fit, so they always had an escape spot to run to if the playing got to be more than they wanted. Low dressers, underneath the couch, under a set of shelves, into a narrow spot between two pieces of furniture, or if we needed to, we could've made some spots by cutting out little "kitty doors" into cardboard boxes or something like that.

As it turned out, the tabby left our girl completely alone, and our boy Aby tormented the tabby relentlessly by smacking him, zooming under a space where the tabby couldn't fit, and then smacking, retreating, smacking retreating, over and over. On the times when the tabby caught him, we let Mr Saucy Aby-pants get the butt kicking he so richly deserved.

Make sure the little one can get away to a safe spot - we did this by having doors propped open to 'kitten width' so the larger one could not follow him. The licking then biting the scruff of the neck and pinning down is normal dominance behaviour and nothing to worry about as long as it's not too rough. Separate them for a while if the kitten has had enough and needs a break. We introduced a 9 month old to a 13 week old and it did take a while before we were happy to leave them alone together, because of the size difference, but it just sounds as though your older one who is still just a kitten himself is being playful and exerting his dominance. He doesn't mean any harm and when the little one gets bigger she will be able to sort herself out fine, just keep an eye on them until they are more equal in size

Thanks for all your help guys. You have been very reassuring!

We have her bathroom door (where her litter and bed is ) at a "kitten width" so the big boy can't fit through in case she wants to retreat. Under the couch is a good place for her too because he can't jump on top of her. But that being said, I don't want our little girl to be totally frightened by this guy forever. My hope is that she'll eventually get big and strong and show him who's boss at times!

It's only been a week and a half and so far no injuries and they have certainly come a long way from the hissing on the first few days.

But I still keep them separated when I go off to work during the day. She stays in the bathroom and he has the run of the house.

I know it's probably more of a trust issue on my behalf but how long do you think it will be before it's safe to let her out with him all day?

I feel guilty having her in the bathroom but at the same time i fear for her safety until she gets bigger.

Honestly?

I am by no means saying that this was the best course of action, nor am I saying that I recommend it, but I am just sharing my story, so here it is:

So 13 lb tabby, beau's cat, Arc. Two sweet little Aby kitties, mine, Ysa and Imri. They got 2 days with us in the apartment, and then we left, and then my roommate left the next day. The three of us discussed it and we decided that, while there was clearly still tension with the three of them, we were going to let them all have the apartment open while we were gone for 6 days. (Just wanted to add: this was over the holidays, we were traveling to visit our families back home, which was why the cats were being consolidated to one location, and why we had to leave them by themselves. A neighbor was checking in on them.)

We came back and they were all happy as clams. Girl kitty Ysa, and Arc, were best of friends -- Ysa actually seems to have quite the crush on Arc and makes a big point of stretching in front of him and rubbing up against him whenever she walks past (Arc has no idea what to make of this) -- and Imri LOVES having someone who will play rough with him.

They're cats, and unless something goes really seriously wrong, chances are slim they're going to injure each other, we figured. So we just left them to themselves, figured they'd sort things out, and they did. And now whenever Arc comes down to visit, they're super happy to be reunited and have a grand old time visiting together!

Like I said, I'm not saying "Just let them at each other", but I'm just putting the thought out there. It might be worth giving them a day to themselves to chase each other around without "adult supervision" and work things out.

Just my two cents, though.

I went through the same worries when I brought my youngest home. Id say let them have run of the house together. If there was going to be real violence you'd have seen it by now. Sometimes my 2 look like they're killing each other, but then they just bounce back for more!! Kitties like play fighting, chasing etc. My female kitten was 'boss' long before she was our older cats size. They love each other to bits and I think your cats will be the same! Let them play!