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Hmmm, I wonder

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
At DH's work people are allowed three days for bereavement if an immediate family member dies. Well his grandpa passed last week and he took Wednesday and Thursday off which he was scheduled to work. Friday, Saturday and Sunday were his normal days off. The memorial was Saturday so I'm wondering if he's still entitled to one more day off work because he's only taken two so far. He's going to call and make sure but I thought I'd see what you guys think.
post #2 of 16
Yes, he's entitled to Monday as well.... that's 3 days. Where I work a grandmother is not considered "immediate family." Immediate family where I work is Mom, Dad, a sibling, your own children, your spouse. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, inlaws are not considered "immediate".
post #3 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Yes, he's entitled to Monday as well.... that's 3 days. Where I work a grandmother is not considered "immediate family." Immediate family where I work is Mom, Dad, a sibling, your own children, your spouse. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, inlaws are not considered "immediate".
That stinks.
post #4 of 16
Out of interest why did he not take the tuesday off as well? that would have saved any conflict with his employers. If the Friday was classed as a bank holiday then I would have said yes he was due another day, but as its going into the following week then I think he is expecting too much. Then again its down to the employer, only he knows what they are like and if its worth asking them or not. What he must ask himself is how is he going to spend that time at the expense of his Grandfather? Is he going to use it wisely or stay at home playing computer games? Only his conscience will decide what is right
post #5 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
That stinks.
Same thing for my old job. They did give me one day pay though.
post #6 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by u8myufo View Post
Out of interest why did he not take the tuesday off as well? that would have saved any conflict with his employers. If the Friday was classed as a bank holiday then I would have said yes he was due another day, but as its going into the following week then I think he is expecting too much. Then again its down to the employer, only he knows what they are like and if its worth asking them or not. What he must ask himself is how is he going to spend that time at the expense of his Grandfather? Is he going to use it wisely or stay at home playing computer games? Only his conscience will decide what is right
He was already normally off last Tuesday.
post #7 of 16
I would think that he would be able to get the extra day off. My grandma, who was definitely more of a mother to me, died in January. My grandma and grandpa raised my brother sister and I since I was 9 months old. My sister and I moved back home after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's to help care of her for the next 5 years.

When my sister, who works in a clothing store, asked for time off she was allowed one week off. When we went to her store to buy clothes for the funeral, several managers asked her when she was leaving town for the funeral. She told them that the funeral was in town so we weren't leaving the area. Her managers told her that they thought she had asked for the time off to travel. When my sister told them no, that she needed time to help plan for the funeral, get everything settled because of her death and be there for our grieving grandpa, the managers told her that she should have been able to work if she was still in town. They acted like if they would have known she was going to be in town, they wouldn't have given her that week off. Manager sometimes have no heart!!!!!!!
post #8 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazyforinfo View Post
Same thing for my old job. They did give me one day pay though.
Yes, me too. I took 2 more days off without pay though. I wasn't close to my Mom's mother, in fact I hadn't seen her for a number of years. She was not the kind of grandmother that babysat or baked cookies with me or anything like that. She was simply my Mom's mother. I don't even recall her ever even hugging me.

However, when she died a few years ago, I was devestated. I saw her picture in the obituaries while I was at work. That's how I found out about her death. My brother had called me on the Friday but I wasn't up to talking to him so I figured I'd call him on Monday when I finished my stretch of 7 shifts, so I didn't know she had died until I saw it on my coffee break at work. The picture looked so much like my Mom and I lost it. We were already short staffed and I couldn't leave work, so I worked from 9am to 3:30pm in a complete fog. The other nurses and the manager did their best to help me with things, and I spent much time in the staff room or bathroom crying. My eyes were blood shot and my poor patients were so worried about me and kept asking me how I was doing, and even Pastoral Care came up to talk to me to offer me some support.

She was a virtual stranger to me, and my reaction to her death completely took me by surprise. I ended up grieving for my Mother all over and that's why I took the extra 2 days without pay because I just couldn't function.
post #9 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
He was already normally off last Tuesday.
Can I ask why he wants to take off yet another day if he's had so many off already?
post #10 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Can I ask why he wants to take off yet another day if he's had so many off already?
Me too. To be honest they are probably going to ask for a valid reason for having another day off. Lets suppose he was on holiday the following week anyway, would he still expect another day off what they owe him a fortnight after the event? If he really needs the Monday off for running about and sorting things out then that is a good enough reason to ask.
post #11 of 16
When I worked we only were allowed so many bereavement days in one year!!
Plus it was only immediate family. When one of my aunts passed away I couldn't even leave early to the visitation (2 hrs away) I had to not take a lunch and leave only and hour early so we drove a total of 4 hours to be at funeral home for about 90 minutes.

When my MIL/FIL passed I went and took the three days even though I could have gotten by with 2.5 days.

I wouldn't IMO ask for the day off.
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by u8myufo View Post
Me too. To be honest they are probably going to ask for a valid reason for having another day off. Lets suppose he was on holiday the following week anyway, would he still expect another day off what they owe him a fortnight after the event? If he really needs the
Quote:
Originally Posted by GailC View Post
When I worked we only were allowed so many bereavement days in one year!!
Ditto that. We are only allowed 3 bereavement days off per year. If you require more than that, if you are part time you can request some extra days off without pay. Now whether you are granted them or not is another story. It will depend on staffing and their ability to cover the shifts. If you work full time and need more days off, then you have to ask around to other nurses and try and switch shifts IE: they work for you on those days, and you work for them on others. If you aren't able to find anyone to cover your shifts you can't get those extra days off.

That being said, at work our policy for bereavement days has changed thanks largely to those who abused the system. Some were using it like "vacation" time. They used up their vacation and sick days and then started to draw on their bereavement days by lying about family deaths.

In the 12 years I've been at the hospital one guy that I know has suffered through the death of more than 6 grandmothers!

Thanks in part to him and others like him, we now have to put our request in writing and not only include the deceased person's full name, but the date of their death, their relationship to you, and the date and location of their funeral. Staffing now checks the validity of each request and keeps the request in your file.

Bereavement days aren't there to give you a holiday. They're not even a law. An employer doesn't have to give you any days off with pay for a death. However, those that do give them, do so as a courtesy to their employees.
post #13 of 16
my husbands grandad died the early hours of this morning, were all in shock even though we knew it was comming as he was extremly ill. I was very close to his grandad and class him as my own, my husband and his mum are in a bad way so my husband did not go in to work today and he wont be payed for it, but as he said his family is more important then his job. But he said he will be going back to work tomorrow, he said he is just sitting around doing nothing at the moment whats the point? which is why he is going back tomorrow.
post #14 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
He's going to call and make sure but I thought I'd see what you guys think.
Did he end up asking for that 3rd day?
post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Did he end up asking for that 3rd day?
Yeah, he took Monday off but like an idiot didn't call in until like three in the afternoon. As it turns out he was only allowed two days. So he got two points for missing Monday and one point for not calling in. One of these days I'm going to kick his butt.
post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Bereavement days aren't there to give you a holiday. They're not even a law. An employer doesn't have to give you any days off with pay for a death. However, those that do give them, do so as a courtesy to their employees.

Actually Linda, I just looked this up in the Canadian Payroll Manual. In Manitoba, effective April 30, 2007 if one has worked for an employer more than 30 days they are entitled to 3 days for bereavement of immediate family (grandparents were included). However, having said that, the employer is not required to pay them for the 3 days. The employer may also request reasonable proof. The employee is allowed to defer vacation if bereavement falls during their vacation time.
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