My feelings.

catloverin_ks

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Every since I found Chloe yesterday I have just basically been numb. Will life ever be the same? I have lost pets in my life, but Chloe, she just had something about her.


I don't know how to explain it. I think I am still in shock. I am angry, sad.

I just need to talk. I truly do not know if my life is ever going to be the same with out her.
 

mrblanche

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Originally Posted by catloverin_ks

Every since I found Chloe yesterday I have just basically been numb. Will life ever be the same? I have lost pets in my life, but Chloe, she just had something about her.


I don't know how to explain it. I think I am still in shock. I am angry, sad.

I just need to talk. I truly do not know if my life is ever going to be the same with out her.
Please tell us about it, so we can share your shock and grief.
 

laureen227

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Originally Posted by mrblanche

Please tell us about it, so we can share your shock and grief.
this is the place for it - almost all of us have lost a sweetie or 2...
 

mews2much

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I am here for you if you need to talk. I found Stormy almost dead Dec 4th and we rushed to the Vet. The Vet called that night and said there was no hope and to have her Pts. I told my husband to ask if we could wait until the next day and the vet said she may not live the night. She did but was Pts around 1Pm Dec 5th. it was very sudden too. You can Pm me if you need to talk. I lost Yoshi a month after Stormy but we knew he was sick but it was still hard. So sorry about your Cat again.
 

isabel

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Originally Posted by catloverin_ks

I don't know how to explain it. I think I am still in shock. I am angry, sad.

I just need to talk. I truly do not know if my life is ever going to be the same with out her.
I totally understand. I had to have my 26 year old horse euthanized on February 18th. We had been together 22 years. While it wasn't totally unexpected (she was old, and had lost a lot of weight this winter), I hadn't planned on doing it so soon - and I certainly hadn't planned on doing it that morning when I stopped out to the barn to visit her.

I have only recently been able to talk about it. I dream about her a lot. It hurts.
 

cooper38

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My Cooper pasted away exactly 4 days ago as I'm writing this. I was in shock and may still be. The 1st 2 days after his passing are a blur. I just remember carrying my beloved man out to the vet's truck and after that it was pure agony. His essence is all around me still. He had a few accidents when he went blind before he located the litter box again and even though I meticulously cleaned them I'll get a little whiff of him every now and then and it burns right to the bottom of my heart. There are random Cooper hairs all over the house and they haven't failed to set me off yet.

I thought it was getting a little easier during yesterday, but as the evening drew near I simply lost it. Last night was quite possibly the hardest night of my life. I had a meltdown and even had to take some sedatives myself to prevent some possible mistakes from not being able to control myself. I felt empty and hopeless. I even contemplated ending it all. I'm ashamed to admit that because I'm not like that at all, but the pain I was feeling at the time was simply unbearable. Luckily the medicine kicked in and I passed out for some time.

I hesitate to say so, but today has been slightly better. I'm still crying heavily every hour or so, but the utter despair isn't quite so deep. I hope whatever happened last night doesn't come back because IDK if I can go through that again. As you can see from my liberal amount of writing; I haven't hesitated to "write it out." The folks on this site have been VERY helpful and understanding and I honestly don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't of found this place.

I think the biggest thing is to let yourself grieve over the loss of your friend. It doesn't matter that she was a feline as that doesn't matter at all. You've lost someone you loved deeply and it hurts. Bottom line. If you don't deal with it now you'll have to deal with it later because it's not just going to go away. For me it's about respecting the memory of Cooper and not trying to make myself feel ok because I'm not. I'm terribly angry and ridiculously sad that I've lost him and that's what is real.

I don't know much, but I do know that numb isn't a feeling. It sounds like you have a loving family and you shouldn't be afraid to show your pain. Trust me, having someone around who understands is a huge blessing and is more than I have; at least in person. All of us would be glad to hear what you have to say and please know that I fully understand what you're going through. I too don't know if I'll ever recover from this loss I've taken. I rotate from disbelief to anger to utter sadness. Chloe would have left you at some point in your life, so no matter what you'd have had to deal with her loss. To me that's about all that's getting me through this with Cooper.

Well I've gone and written another novel and apologize if I've bitten into yout thread, but my sole intention was to convey to you that I and other folks completely understand your loss and that it's perfectly fine for you to express your grief here and elsewhere. Like John Lennon (I think) said, "Let It Be."

Take care and I'm very very sorry for the loss of your beloved girl. If you'd like to talk about her you may PM me anytime and I'm sure I'll share lots about my Bear too. I think we're both pretty much in the same stage of our grief at this point.
 

lunasmom

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oh my goodness
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please, don't worry about us...we're here to help, even if its just an ear.
 

mrblanche

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Write all you want to. We all understand the feelings. Psychologists say it's good for us to have pets who live shorter lives than we do; we need the contact with finality.
 

menasmom

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Monica, I'm so sorry. When you're ready to talk, cry, scream--anything--we're here for you. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
Sending you vibes and knowing that your Chloe is watching over you.

-mare
 
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catloverin_ks

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Thank you all for everything.
I am just going thru alot of emotions, as many of you can relate I am sure.
 

lmunsie

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I am crying reading this thread. It's so hard to lose them. I wish I had something more then condolenses to offer.......
 
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catloverin_ks

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Originally Posted by LDG



I have no words for your pain. I wish I could wrap you in a "make all the pain go away" blanket.


Laurie
Thank you. I would love that....or just to turn back the clocks and make her be here with me again!!!
 

menasmom

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Monica, how old was Chloe? The link that was posted earlier didn't say whether she'd been sick or not. Maybe writing to share your feelings will help you. I know the heartache you're feeling, believe me. We all do. Our hearts are aching for you.
 
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catloverin_ks

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Originally Posted by menasmom

Monica, how old was Chloe? The link that was posted earlier didn't say whether she'd been sick or not. Maybe writing to share your feelings will help you. I know the heartache you're feeling, believe me. We all do. Our hearts are aching for you.
I am unsure of her age, I found her in 2005 as a kitty.
No, she was not sick.
 
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