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Random rant.... quite long...

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Just having a bad day I guess.... Need a random rant...

First off, I'm very happy b/c I've got the perfect home for Vinnie, my black foster boy. He's going to a co-worker and friend I've known for over 6 years. He will have a great life, she lost her last cat of 20 years and her dog to cancer, both just last year. It broke her heart, she loves her animals and provides wonderfully for them. I have nothing but great respect for her, and we get along wonderfully and are always discussing animals and rescue work.

Yada, yada.... anyway, so I am taking Vinnie to work tomorrow at 5, when she gets off, (it's my day off) to make it easier on her b/c she lives a good distance away, and in totally the opposite direction of my house. Anyway, I was explaining to her that I would provide all his medical history, paperwork, food, care package, etc.. for her tomorrow when I bring him, and I tell her his adoption fee, and she gave me the rudest look and said "You never said anything about that". I just didn't even know what to say to her. I was totally floored. It would have been different if she was just some random person, and I would explain to them everything the cats have done, etc... but I never expected it from her. For crying out loud, my workplace has even pooled donations for me before for cats. So she knows what all I do, we discuss it all the time. Another co-worker that has a family member that recently adopted a cat from me overheard this and was shocked as well...

It just really offended me b/c it was her. I never would have pegged her for a person that would expect something for nothing, or anything like that. So I called her tonight, and explained to her that everyone that has ever adopted a cat from me, including my own mother has donated. And I went into depth of what Vinnie has received. She had kept making the comment that he was already neutered when I received him, but I explained to her that he has been leuk tested, vaccinated for rabies, leukemia, and distemper. Fecal tested and dewormed, and flea treated. In addition to being fed for the last month and a half. So trust me sister, I'm not pulling one over on you here! As anyone that rescues knows, the adoption fees do not start to cover your expenses, but that isn't the point anyway. Yes, you work to recover a little, it goes towards your next one. And to be quite frank, Vinnie's adoption fee covers about his office call and exam and one vaccination. Granted he is probably one of the "cheapest" rescues I've had, especially since he was already neutered, but by "cheap" I still mean $200 dollars of care.

I guess I just have never felt like I was taking something from someone before. I've NEVER had anyone question the adoption fee before. I did tell her on the phone tonight, that if she doesn't feel comfortable, she isn't obligated to take him. She immediately said, "Oh no, it isn't that, I know you put alot out of them, etc..... it isn't a problem".... I guess it is one of those things that you can't take back a first impression kind of thing... you know? No matter what she says, I can't get that comment or her look out of my mind.

Like I said, if it had been Joe Schmo, it would have been different, but I had a lot of respect and a good relationship with this woman, I think that is why it has bothered me so much.

All and all, I am not "settling" on this home for Vinnie, he will be loved and wonderfully cared for. Just amazed at her attitude.
post #2 of 12
She probably thought you would waive the fee since you two are so close.
post #3 of 12
Thread Starter 
And I'm sure she may have thought that.. however, if I were in her shoes, I would have just covered and said "Okay fine, great, no problem", etc.... Or what not...
post #4 of 12
yea, i think she was shocked.

I know when i got heyu from the apl, i was like,100 dollars for a cat!!!! last time i had got one from them it was 10 dollars.

but of course i already made up my mind was taking her home with me.
post #5 of 12
I don't know the entire story but if I were her, I would've said the same thing. Why haven't you guys discussed the adoption fee before? If it wasn't talked about beforehand, I would've assumed there wasn't one either, especially if you guys are so close.
post #6 of 12
I would've been kinda shocked too at what she said. Especially as she knows you are involved in rescue and that everyone else has paid a fee, and like you said it obviously wasn't that much since it was only covering an office call and 1 vax.

It was probably something that just kinda "pooped" out of her mouth. I would try to do my best to look past it since you know she is a good pet owner
post #7 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277 View Post
I would've been kinda shocked too at what she said. Especially as she knows you are involved in rescue and that everyone else has paid a fee, and like you said it obviously wasn't that much since it was only covering an office call and 1 vax.

It was probably something that just kinda "pooped" out of her mouth. I would try to do my best to look past it since you know she is a good pet owner
Thanks Katiemae... I feel a better today after sleeping on it...
post #8 of 12
Maybe one way to make sure the friendship continues with no hard feelings is to approach her and apologize for not directly speaking about an adoption fee. Doesn't matter who is wrong or right in this...I think it's a small enough issue to move past and keep the friendship alive.

Whatever happens, I'm glad you found a wonderful home for Vinnie.
post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by okiron View Post
I don't know the entire story but if I were her, I would've said the same thing. Why haven't you guys discussed the adoption fee before? If it wasn't talked about beforehand, I would've assumed there wasn't one either, especially if you guys are so close.
She's met several of my adopters in the past that come into the store to shop. I've been running cat rescue for several years now, and have had many many cats come through me. In addition, I also purchase spay/neuter vouchers for people that are having tough times and really NEED to get their animals altered but can't afford it. She's been aware of donation drives for my organization. In fact there is a donation effort coming up just next month to benifit both mine and a friend of mine that does rescue, that she also knows. She also knows that there IS an adoption fee b/c another co-worker had forgotten her checkbook when she picked up a cat from me, and gave me a check at work. Coincidentatelly, it happened in the break room, and infront of this woman.

I guess knowing all that, and that I AM a rescue, and not just some person trying to rehome a cat, I would not assume that there would be no fee. I'm hedging my bets that she honestly thought I would just not have "her" pay one. In which case, honest mistake or not, I'm am shocked at her character to not want to donate to help future cats when she is getting a wonderful healthy pet out of the deal, and when she is such an animal person also.
post #10 of 12
Yeah, sounds like she should've known better. But I still think you should've discussed it with her sooner. Keep things clear and don't make her assume anything while you're not making assumptions yourself.
post #11 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by emrldsky View Post
Maybe one way to make sure the friendship continues with no hard feelings is to approach her and apologize for not directly speaking about an adoption fee. Doesn't matter who is wrong or right in this...I think it's a small enough issue to move past and keep the friendship alive.

Whatever happens, I'm glad you found a wonderful home for Vinnie.
Thanks

I did call her last night, and did exactly that. I also told her I knew that fees had been discussed in the past in regards to other cats, and in addition that I know she's been on my shelter site on Petfinder in order to show her husband pictures of Vinnie, in which my adoption fees are also clearly listed. But I apologized none the less, she was stumbling for words a bit after that. So I "know" that she knew. But at least it is out there, so to speak, in the open, and I confronted her on it. It'll be one of those things, that you forgive, but don't forget :-)
post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by okiron View Post
Yeah, sounds like she should've known better. But I still think you should've discussed it with her sooner. Keep things clear and don't make her assume anything while you're not making assumptions yourself.
Thanks for the advice. I disagree given this particular situation and all it's specifics, but in general I do agree of course.
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