I normally don't post very much in the Rainbow Forum, b/c it's very painful for me.
But since Cooper's thread was locked before I could respond, I came here so I could offer my condolences.
Mark, please don't feel as if you're "rambling on" - that's what we're here for - to share your grief, and offer our support. We all have lost a beloved pet, and I doubt that it's easy for any of us. We all have to grieve in our own ways, and if writing it all out helps you in any way, we're here to listen.
Please take care of yourself, and try to get some nourishment into yourself - even if it's just a little at a time. You need to do this for yourself, and also for Sampson - he needs you too right now.
I know how difficult it is. b/c I've been there many times myself, but you have to find the strength to go on. Could you contact your doctor, and maybe ask for a sedative to help get you through the worst of it?? I know it's difficult to believe that you'll ever get over this, but the pain will ease in time, and you will be left with fond and loving memories of you beloved Cooper.
And I really do believe that some day, we all will be reunited with our beloved pets.
I am so sorry that you lost Cooper, but you made the right decision by ending his suffering. And I'm sure he's thanking you from above.
Your Daddy loves you & misses you.