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Have fun at the Bridge Cooper

post #1 of 52
Thread Starter 
With permission from Coopers dad Mark, i'm starting the thread to help his boy across Rainbow Bridge

Coopers story can be found here...


Have a wonderful time with all your new friends Cooper, your going to be missed so much

post #2 of 52
I normally don't post very much in the Rainbow Forum, b/c it's very painful for me. But since Cooper's thread was locked before I could respond, I came here so I could offer my condolences.

Mark, please don't feel as if you're "rambling on" - that's what we're here for - to share your grief, and offer our support. We all have lost a beloved pet, and I doubt that it's easy for any of us. We all have to grieve in our own ways, and if writing it all out helps you in any way, we're here to listen.

Please take care of yourself, and try to get some nourishment into yourself - even if it's just a little at a time. You need to do this for yourself, and also for Sampson - he needs you too right now. I know how difficult it is. b/c I've been there many times myself, but you have to find the strength to go on. Could you contact your doctor, and maybe ask for a sedative to help get you through the worst of it?? I know it's difficult to believe that you'll ever get over this, but the pain will ease in time, and you will be left with fond and loving memories of you beloved Cooper. And I really do believe that some day, we all will be reunited with our beloved pets.

I am so sorry that you lost Cooper, but you made the right decision by ending his suffering. And I'm sure he's thanking you from above.

RIP, Cooper. Your Daddy loves you & misses you.

post #3 of 52
Rest in peace, Cooper. Visit your Daddy and your brother in their dreams, and let them know that you are in a happy place, chasing butterflies, and awaiting the reunion that all three of you will have in the future. Your Daddy is hurting now, but in the future, that hurt will change into precious memories and anticipation of seeing your chubby little cuteness again.
post #4 of 52
Cooper boy RIP
post #5 of 52
I am very touched by the way you have expressed your feelings and grief. You feel the same way I felt inside when it happened to me. KittKatt gave you some great advice. I can not top that. RTP Cooper.
post #6 of 52
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Cooper is a beautiful boy and it's very clear how much he was loved.
Rest In Peace beautiful boy.
post #7 of 52
Rest In Peace Cooper
post #8 of 52
You and Sampson have my deepest sympathy over your loss this dear boy.

Play in the sunshine at the Bridge sweet Cooper.
post #9 of 52
ok, now don't think i'm crazy, but tell Sampson what happened, where Cooper is. Mouse passed at the vet - as far as the cats were concerned, she left & never returned. i explained to Pixel [her littermate] that Mouse had gone to the bridge, & i think, somehow, she understood.
she also became more affectionate to me after Mouse left us - prior to that, she was loving, but not really a 'lap cat' - that was Mouse's job. Pixel took it over, & has become more affectionate as the years have passed. so Sampson may very well do the same thing, both to console you & himself.
& don't worry about bugging us, writing about your grief - we COMPLETELY understand!
post #10 of 52
I'm so very sorry for your loss, RIP sweet Cooper
post #11 of 52
Thank-you everyone. Every time I come home and know he's gone I lose it, but checking this site and seeing that there are people that understand really helps me. I still haven't been able to eat, but I promise I'll try. I feel pretty dizzy and terrible all around, but eventually I'll have to eat so I don't die as well. I want to see Cooper again if there's any truth to the Rainbow Bridge, but me passing on wouldn't be good for anyone; especially Sampson as he'd be left with nobody and I just can't bear that thought. Humans can go weeks without food, so I think I'll be fine. I do need to drink something though because 24hrs without water is awhile. I know I'm not doing anyone any good by not eating or drinking so I will try really hard to nourish myself.

I may have to have my Dad (he's a doctor) write me a prescription for Valium or something along those lines because I'm almost to the point where it's too much to handle. He's coming over tonight after work and if nothing else it'll be good to have him there with me. I just feel like there's an elephant sitting on my chest and a fire in my throat. It's weird how your emotions can shut you down. I bet if I can force myself to take water or food in then I'll probably feel better in all reality. Last night I tried but just dry heaved. I feel so helpless and that's different than usual because I pride myself in being strong emotionally, but this is just a whole new level. I've lost pets and humans before, but this is just so much more potent than anything I've ever experienced.

This isn't about me though. It's about Cooper. I'd like to share some very personal and private aspects of our lives together.

-As you can see he loved to eat. I'd say he ate roughly 10 times a day out of the buffet I always had out for him. What was funny is how he ate. He's lay down with his paws around his bowl and just stick his little kitty face in there and go for it. When Cooper ate it was like he was in heaven. Cooper's last meal was the night before last. It was right before he truly took a turn for the worst. His last meal was 2 generous helpings of Fancy Feast whitefish/tuna and he purred while he ate. That was the last time he purred.

-While Cooper was a mountain of a cat he was still very agile. Not like Sampson who can balance on tiny ledges and jump off 10' decks, but he still moved his mass around well. Up until he went blind he would sleep with me on my bed. My bed is tall too. I'd estimate 3' at least. Cooper would jump up there all by himself and when he wanted off he'd launch right off there. The thump he made would strike fear in the hearts of those not accustomed to it as it sounded like a locomotive was coming through the house.

-The reason Coo-Bear won my heart with so much passion was because of his personality. He was so responsive and interactive. He was extremely talkative and came as close to any cat at actually forming words that I've ever seen. He purred non-stop. If you just looked at him he'd purr and it was really loud and deep like you'd expect from a big man like him. He loved to rub his face on things and had a little habit of running his head into my face and rubbing me with enthusiasm.

-The crowning glory with him was that he came when you called. All my little pet names for him were sufficient to get him waddling over my way with nothing but love for me. Cooper NEVER put his claws out except under rigorous play, but he was very gentle. He absolutely never took a swing in anger at anything; not once in his life. I remember him occasionally bringing back a mouse and the mouse would be alive and unharmed. He loved to bring them in the house, let them go, and then sit on them like a hen and egg. Sometimes they'd get loose and I'd have to tear up the house to find them and release them back outside. I don't think he ever killed one of them. He'd let me take them from him in exchange for a fresh can of food and they'd go about their lives not knowing how close they came to death. Cooper was incredibly strong. He loved a game of tug-a-war and the pressure he would pull back with was truly incredible. I'd say close to 60lbs of force. What a beast!

-I don't know what else to day except he was an extraordinary feline. Other cats are fiercely independent, but he was the exception. He was a baby. He required lots of special attention but I was more than happy to do so. It was an honor and a privledge to serve him like a king. I can't think of a more deserving animal of my affection and love. A lot of my younger guy friends would say, "Man, you sure are Cooper's B**ch," but they didn't understand the bond I had with him so I never took offense. It was probably true haha. That's why I'm missing him so terribly bad. I just want to take care of him and spoil him rotten.

Anyway, those are some of the reasons why Cooper was such a special cat. He gave love back which in my experience is truly rare for a feline. His memory will always remain 1st in my heart and if one day I get to see him again it'll be the single most glorious moment I've ever experienced. While his failing health and death are fresh in my mind (just passed 24hrs ago) I want to remember him in his healthy and happy days. I miss him so much and cannot stop thinking about him.

I've written words upon words, but still feel like I've done a poor job of portraying how special he was to me. I'll post more pictures up of him, but I'll have to wait to do that as I can't handle it right now. Thanks again to everyone who's responded. It really is helping me a lot. I'm going to go try to at least drink something because I think that's why I'm in so much physical pain right now. I'll check back in shortly.
post #12 of 52
Right now, your grief over the loss of Cooper feels bottomless but you must take care of yourself so that you can care for Sampson, who is also grieving.
If necessary, buy some liquid meals and drink those until you feel emotionally stronger.
post #13 of 52
I'm so sorry for your loss.
post #14 of 52
Well I guess my family is having a big meal tonight at my sister's house. I don't want to go because I want to be solitary right now, but my Dad won't take no for an answer and I'm sure will force me to eat. I think I'm hungry too. Liquid meals is a really good idea. I'm sure even a few gulps would do me good. Sampson is doing really well too. I don't know if he's fully grasped his brother and littermate is gone, but maybe it's just his process. Only time will tell. The grief is coming in waves still, but they're farther apart and less potent. Given time I think it'll just hurt and eventually I'll just remember him for who he was. A one in a billion cat. Take care folks.
post #15 of 52
I'm so sorry Cooper is gone. May he rest in peace.
post #16 of 52
Rest in Peace Cooper. Play well at the bridge.
post #17 of 52
So I just had a good sized meal with my family. Honestly I think it made things worse. Before I was running on empty so my brain wasn't firing on all cylinders and now it just won't let me take a break. It's just building and building and won't quit. We talked about him a lot and they had a picture of him during his younger days on the fridge that set me off pretty good haha. I'm just tired of obsessing over losing him and really want to try and see the positive, but now it's all rushing out. I haven't cleaned all his remnants up and that's going to be terribly hard. I think I just really miss him deeply. I feel it's unfair he was taken from me so young and can't find comfort in anything at the moment.

Oh well. I owe it to him to grieve heavily over his absence and will undoubtedly shed many more tears of pain. Cooper was an angel that made those 7 years of my life full of love and joy. I'm just depressed, but will get over it. Well not completely over it, but maybe the absolute suffering I'm undergoing right now will cease and I'll just be glad he was around. At least I got to know him. I just didn't imagine it ending this way and still am having a hard time accepting that he's truly gone. I keep waiting for him to come sauntering out of his room wanting me to feed him immediatly.

I guess sighing helps. It kind of releases some of the tension in my heart. I'm actually kind of happy I'm alone because I can grieve freely without having to be aware of other people. This is really hard. It's all I can do to not just sit there and dwell on his death. I know he wouldn't want me to suffer; just like me with him, so I'm going to try and just let it be.

I love you Cooper and miss you forever! I'll see you again in spirit form maybe and we'll tear it up together like we used to my beautiful king. If you're reincarnated you better come back to me and let me know it's you. My soul aches for your presence my best friend. I'll get your food ready.
post #18 of 52
Condolences on losing Cooper at such a young age - truly the prime of his life! I know that no time is a good time to lose our special kitties, esp. a kitty like Cooper who was Personality+!
I hope that you are able to keep on eating. to help keep you hydrated and your electrolytes balanced, you can try nibbling on crystallized ginger followed by a sip (only a sip) of room temp water. If the crystallized ginger is too spicy, then try some ginger-water, with a small amount of powdered ginger plus a little raw sugar in warm-to-hot water; do only tiny sips at time, otherwise, you might get heaves. Remember to give yourself plenty of time to grieve - this is a shocking experience that you have gone through
And please continue to share with us all about your beautiful boy. It is so nice to know about the RB kitty who has gone to join all our other kitties over RB.
post #19 of 52
Thread Starter 
Just take it one day at a time Mark, but remember that Cooper is watching over you. He isn't grieving like we do because he can still see you and that's what makes it harder for us.

Stay strong for Sampson because he also needs his dad right now because he'll be hurting Together you can comfort each other
post #20 of 52
I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP Cooper.
post #21 of 52
I am so, so sorry for your loss

Reading your words just makes me remember how horrible and alone I felt when I lost my Alley in December 2006. It does hurt, and it will hurt for a long time. There will be a little corner of your heart that will never stop missing Cooper, and hurting over his loss. However, it does get easier to deal with in time. You will be able to look at his pictures without crying. You will be able to remember the happy times with him, instead of remembering only the loss. Time doesn't heal, I don't believe that, but it does insulate the pain a bit, so that you can deal with the loss.

Please know that I am thinking of you, and Cooper. I hope he will find Alley at the bridge.

post #22 of 52
Ooooh, I can't imagine I am so so sorry you lost Cooper

May he rest in peace like the little angel he is
post #23 of 52
Rest In Peace Sweet Cooper May you drink from rivers of ice cold water, prance through fields of catnip,
& play the day away with all your fuzzy friends over the rainbow bridge...
post #24 of 52
So I'm hesitant to say so, but I think I'm doing better today. I woke up this morning and knew he was gone and didn't burst into a fit of heavy sobbing like before. I just felt hollow. I think my heart and brain are starting to realize he's truly gone and are getting used to it. Maybe it's just right now too, but any relief is better than none.

I've just been questioning if putting him down was the right thing to do and that there was NO way he could have recovered. My Dad and Mom are both physicians, so they know exactly what was happening to him and they both said without a doubt he wouldn't have recovered. The vet said the next step would have been a state of constant seizures, and that's why I put him down. I knew my big boy's brain was failing his body, but it was hard to make that call when he was seemingly pain free. My Dad and the vet said that's not the case though. His injured brain was swelling and he probably had the headache of the century.

I just have to remember there was nothing we could do for him anymore and that it was his time. I knew this would happen too soon because he had FIV, but the little hope I had in my head told me that it could have been a bad test or he's fight it all off until he died at an old(er) age. I was shooting for 10. I guess the fact of the matter is that he lasted 7 which while not long enough for me or him was still better than nothing. He'll always be my favorite cat and wherever he is now is lucky to have him. If there is a Bridge then he's there now showing all your lost kitties how a real man eats haha.

I'll check back in when his ashes arrive and where they end up. That's going to be a hard day I have a feeling. Take care everyone and thank-you for everything.
post #25 of 52
RIP, Cooper.
My heartfelt condolences, Mark.
post #26 of 52
Cooper38, I wish you lived closer to us; there's a cat at our local shelter that really needs you. I thought of him immediately when you described how Cooper ate, and that is exactly how this big boy eats! He's a big odd-eyed white cat named Casper, and he's been at the shelter for quite a while (they try hard not to euthanize any animals that are at all adoptable). They recently took him out of the public area, just to give him a rest, and put him in a large cage. They also put in a small, sick orange kitten. Most of the time, Casper lets the kitten have the comfy bed in the cage, but sometimes they go back there and find the little kitten curled up between Casper's huge arms!

I guess what I'm saying is that it's clear you loved Cooper, but there are still others out there who need you and you have lots of time left to love more of them, so take care of yourself and don't let them down!
post #27 of 52
Thank-you for the response. I would definitely consider Casper, but it still seems way too soon and would IMO disrespect Cooper's memory. Also, Sampson is just starting to realize something isn't right I think. He's usually rearing to get out the door, but today he's just sitting there unresponsive and unwilling to do anything except mope.

I think bringing an unfamiliar cat into the house right now that I'd dote on heavily would push Sampson even farther away from me and he's still 1/2 of the original duo that I made a promise to those 7 years ago. My promise was to fully respect them and treat them as if they were my own sons, and to never put them out for my own selfish reasons. I feel that if I had Casper come up here less than 72hrs after the love of my life passed away then it would be breaking that promise to both of them even though Sampson is the only guy left in bodily form.

I feel Cooper all around me and would like to honor him fully. He's having a candle service on Monday and hopefully they'll have his ashes back to me by then because how long can it possibly take? Once he's symbolicly (sp?) laid to rest and I've had enough time to grieve for him then I'd definitely consider Casper. It's getting a tad easier to cope with, but my heart just aches and aches for him.

Tell Casper that if he can hold on a few more weeks that there's a guy in the Pacific Northwest that would love to have him. Hopefully he'll understand. As for getting him up here, I have no problem buying him a 1st class kitty ticket and will meet him at the airport with a sign that says CASPER haha. I may fly down there to see him 1st just to make sure. Taking a cat into this household is a big deal because I'll fully open the door to both my house and my heart, so I just need to know it won't be in vain. We'll see how this all plays out. PM me more about him if you'd like. Love is a funny thing and I may just fall right for the old fella. Thanks again for the heads up. Take care now.
post #28 of 52
I'll keep you and Casper in mind, but my real point is that there are other perfect kitties out there that, while they will never exactly fit the hole in your heart left by Cooper, will complement you and your other cat in ways you cannnot imagine today. I live in a southern suburb of Dallas, by the way.

By the way, I don't know if you've visited www.petloss.com, but if you haven't, you should. I have dealt with the founder/owner of that site, and he has quite the story, too; he disappeared from a web site I was working on, and when we checked up, he was at home ill and close to death, due to some ongoing health problems.
post #29 of 52
To my magnificent Bobo-kid, Ghibligook, Coo-Bear, Coopy oopy, Balboa, Gubbins, and of course Mug-Mug:

I remember you, I can't forget the day I received you too. Your helpless mew and your giant eyes. Your soul shown through for the world to see; I was happy as any new father would be.

You knew what you wanted from the start of our journey and till the end you never once thought it prudent to betray me.

Time after time we shared pure love, not a care in the world when you showed your mug. Your beautiful kitty face was all it would take for my heart to open full make no mistake

It was unconditional love that we shared, and I sure hope you know how much that I cared. A high maintenance kitty without a doubt; I wouldn't have it any other way my gentle giant so soft and so stout.

I'll never forget the day it rang true; my soul mate was here fresh out of the blue. Inseparable till the end was the name of the game, and as it grew near we felt one in the same, because as you knew I was hopelessly addicted to you.

Now that you're gone I feel rotten inside without my Blue Bear to remain by my side. The anger of Zeus wells up in my brain as I know deep down that you were taken in vain. Far too young to leave this fine place; I'll never forgive the heartless devil who brought this disgrace.

Even now I weep freely from withdrawl and heartbreak, and can't help wonder if I made a mistake. The armies of the East couldn't hold back my hate if I finally get a hold of the one who dealt you your fate.

You were pure love I have to remember, so I won't cause a stir, but it's hard to contain the filth my poor brain can muster. I won't forget what you taught me; that my heart is what's real, so get ready buddy because I'll be running with zeal, as I cross that last bridge with your favorite meal.

I'm not so much a poet obviously, but I felt like it was warranted to at least make an attempt. I don't know why but right now it's getting hard again. It's been over 3 days since he passed, but now I'm questioning everything and feel pain and anger that wasn't there before. I feel like he shouldn't have had to die young, and almost feel as if we both got burned. It's not fair at all, but I guess that's life. I can't accept it now but I suppose I'll have to. I miss him with fire in my belly and sadness in my heart.

I thought things were getting better, but I keep picturing him waddling around the house and just doing all the little things that became his routine. I fear nothing can help with how intense this new wave of emotions has hit me. I just want him back and am worried sick about how they're taking care of his body. I'm starting to 2nd guess my decision to have him cremated. I think I maybe should have kept him here with me as I know deep down that's what he would have wanted. It's too late now for anything except grief and I guess that's what's so hard for me to wrap my head around. The finality of the whole thing.

I keep getting these rushes of pure emotion that overwhelm me and I fear something may happen if they continue without ebbing. I guess I'm just in mourning and this is part of it, but never in a million years would I have guessed it would progress like this. What a dirty trick that was. I started to feel better and then it got worse. Maybe it's because tonight was always movie night with me and the boys. Cooper on my lap, at least what could fit, and then Sampson on my neck. This is so hard! I wasn't ready for this.

I'm going to have to figure out a way to deal with this pretty quick here because I feel it may be destructive rather than healthy. Nothing helps which is what's different. Before I'd read the poems and read other people's stories and it would ease the pain a bit, but now it's all just caving in. I need a break somehow, but the problem is you can't just shut down your brain. Sorry for the doom and gloom folks, it's just how I feel for the time being.
post #30 of 52
Grief comes in waves that can knock you to the ground.
After a wave passes, get up and take a deep life affirming breath.
Over time, the waves will become smaller, but they will always come.

Your tribute to Cooper was beautiful.
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