Have fun at the Bridge Cooper

kittkatt

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I normally don't post very much in the Rainbow Forum, b/c it's very painful for me.
But since Cooper's thread was locked before I could respond, I came here so I could offer my condolences.

Mark, please don't feel as if you're "rambling on" - that's what we're here for - to share your grief, and offer our support. We all have lost a beloved pet, and I doubt that it's easy for any of us. We all have to grieve in our own ways, and if writing it all out helps you in any way, we're here to listen.


Please take care of yourself, and try to get some nourishment into yourself - even if it's just a little at a time. You need to do this for yourself, and also for Sampson - he needs you too right now.
I know how difficult it is. b/c I've been there many times myself, but you have to find the strength to go on. Could you contact your doctor, and maybe ask for a sedative to help get you through the worst of it?? I know it's difficult to believe that you'll ever get over this, but the pain will ease in time, and you will be left with fond and loving memories of you beloved Cooper.
And I really do believe that some day, we all will be reunited with our beloved pets.


I am so sorry that you lost Cooper, but you made the right decision by ending his suffering. And I'm sure he's thanking you from above.


RIP, Cooper.
Your Daddy loves you & misses you.


~KK~
 

taterbug

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Rest in peace, Cooper.
Visit your Daddy and your brother in their dreams, and let them know that you are in a happy place, chasing butterflies, and awaiting the reunion that all three of you will have in the future. Your Daddy is hurting now, but in the future, that hurt will change into precious memories and anticipation of seeing your chubby little cuteness again.
 

lilyluvscats

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I am very touched by the way you have expressed your feelings and grief. You feel the same way I felt inside when it happened to me. KittKatt gave you some great advice. I can not top that. RTP Cooper.
 

graciecat

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I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Cooper is a beautiful boy and it's very clear how much he was loved.
Rest In Peace beautiful boy.
 

xocats

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You and Sampson have my deepest sympathy over your loss this dear boy.


Play in the sunshine at the Bridge sweet Cooper.
 

laureen227

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ok, now don't think i'm crazy, but tell Sampson what happened, where Cooper is. Mouse passed at the vet - as far as the cats were concerned, she left & never returned. i explained to Pixel [her littermate] that Mouse had gone to the bridge, & i think, somehow, she understood.
she also became more affectionate to me after Mouse left us - prior to that, she was loving, but not really a 'lap cat' - that was Mouse's job. Pixel took it over, & has become more affectionate as the years have passed. so Sampson may very well do the same thing, both to console you & himself.
& don't worry about bugging us, writing about your grief - we COMPLETELY understand!

 

cooper38

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Thank-you everyone. Every time I come home and know he's gone I lose it, but checking this site and seeing that there are people that understand really helps me. I still haven't been able to eat, but I promise I'll try. I feel pretty dizzy and terrible all around, but eventually I'll have to eat so I don't die as well. I want to see Cooper again if there's any truth to the Rainbow Bridge, but me passing on wouldn't be good for anyone; especially Sampson as he'd be left with nobody and I just can't bear that thought. Humans can go weeks without food, so I think I'll be fine. I do need to drink something though because 24hrs without water is awhile. I know I'm not doing anyone any good by not eating or drinking so I will try really hard to nourish myself.

I may have to have my Dad (he's a doctor) write me a prescription for Valium or something along those lines because I'm almost to the point where it's too much to handle. He's coming over tonight after work and if nothing else it'll be good to have him there with me. I just feel like there's an elephant sitting on my chest and a fire in my throat. It's weird how your emotions can shut you down. I bet if I can force myself to take water or food in then I'll probably feel better in all reality. Last night I tried but just dry heaved. I feel so helpless and that's different than usual because I pride myself in being strong emotionally, but this is just a whole new level. I've lost pets and humans before, but this is just so much more potent than anything I've ever experienced.

This isn't about me though. It's about Cooper. I'd like to share some very personal and private aspects of our lives together.

-As you can see he loved to eat. I'd say he ate roughly 10 times a day out of the buffet I always had out for him. What was funny is how he ate. He's lay down with his paws around his bowl and just stick his little kitty face in there and go for it. When Cooper ate it was like he was in heaven. Cooper's last meal was the night before last. It was right before he truly took a turn for the worst. His last meal was 2 generous helpings of Fancy Feast whitefish/tuna and he purred while he ate. That was the last time he purred.

-While Cooper was a mountain of a cat he was still very agile. Not like Sampson who can balance on tiny ledges and jump off 10' decks, but he still moved his mass around well. Up until he went blind he would sleep with me on my bed. My bed is tall too. I'd estimate 3' at least. Cooper would jump up there all by himself and when he wanted off he'd launch right off there. The thump he made would strike fear in the hearts of those not accustomed to it as it sounded like a locomotive was coming through the house.

-The reason Coo-Bear won my heart with so much passion was because of his personality. He was so responsive and interactive. He was extremely talkative and came as close to any cat at actually forming words that I've ever seen. He purred non-stop. If you just looked at him he'd purr and it was really loud and deep like you'd expect from a big man like him. He loved to rub his face on things and had a little habit of running his head into my face and rubbing me with enthusiasm.

-The crowning glory with him was that he came when you called. All my little pet names for him were sufficient to get him waddling over my way with nothing but love for me. Cooper NEVER put his claws out except under rigorous play, but he was very gentle. He absolutely never took a swing in anger at anything; not once in his life. I remember him occasionally bringing back a mouse and the mouse would be alive and unharmed. He loved to bring them in the house, let them go, and then sit on them like a hen and egg. Sometimes they'd get loose and I'd have to tear up the house to find them and release them back outside. I don't think he ever killed one of them. He'd let me take them from him in exchange for a fresh can of food and they'd go about their lives not knowing how close they came to death. Cooper was incredibly strong. He loved a game of tug-a-war and the pressure he would pull back with was truly incredible. I'd say close to 60lbs of force. What a beast!

-I don't know what else to day except he was an extraordinary feline. Other cats are fiercely independent, but he was the exception. He was a baby. He required lots of special attention but I was more than happy to do so. It was an honor and a privledge to serve him like a king. I can't think of a more deserving animal of my affection and love. A lot of my younger guy friends would say, "Man, you sure are Cooper's B**ch," but they didn't understand the bond I had with him so I never took offense. It was probably true haha. That's why I'm missing him so terribly bad. I just want to take care of him and spoil him rotten.

Anyway, those are some of the reasons why Cooper was such a special cat. He gave love back which in my experience is truly rare for a feline. His memory will always remain 1st in my heart and if one day I get to see him again it'll be the single most glorious moment I've ever experienced. While his failing health and death are fresh in my mind (just passed 24hrs ago) I want to remember him in his healthy and happy days. I miss him so much and cannot stop thinking about him.

I've written words upon words, but still feel like I've done a poor job of portraying how special he was to me. I'll post more pictures up of him, but I'll have to wait to do that as I can't handle it right now. Thanks again to everyone who's responded. It really is helping me a lot. I'm going to go try to at least drink something because I think that's why I'm in so much physical pain right now. I'll check back in shortly.
 

xocats

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Right now, your grief over the loss of Cooper feels bottomless but you must take care of yourself so that you can care for Sampson, who is also grieving.
If necessary, buy some liquid meals and drink those until you feel emotionally stronger.
 

cooper38

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Well I guess my family is having a big meal tonight at my sister's house. I don't want to go because I want to be solitary right now, but my Dad won't take no for an answer and I'm sure will force me to eat. I think I'm hungry too. Liquid meals is a really good idea. I'm sure even a few gulps would do me good. Sampson is doing really well too. I don't know if he's fully grasped his brother and littermate is gone, but maybe it's just his process. Only time will tell. The grief is coming in waves still, but they're farther apart and less potent. Given time I think it'll just hurt and eventually I'll just remember him for who he was. A one in a billion cat. Take care folks.
 

cooper38

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So I just had a good sized meal with my family. Honestly I think it made things worse. Before I was running on empty so my brain wasn't firing on all cylinders and now it just won't let me take a break. It's just building and building and won't quit. We talked about him a lot and they had a picture of him during his younger days on the fridge that set me off pretty good haha. I'm just tired of obsessing over losing him and really want to try and see the positive, but now it's all rushing out. I haven't cleaned all his remnants up and that's going to be terribly hard. I think I just really miss him deeply. I feel it's unfair he was taken from me so young and can't find comfort in anything at the moment.

Oh well. I owe it to him to grieve heavily over his absence and will undoubtedly shed many more tears of pain. Cooper was an angel that made those 7 years of my life full of love and joy. I'm just depressed, but will get over it. Well not completely over it, but maybe the absolute suffering I'm undergoing right now will cease and I'll just be glad he was around. At least I got to know him. I just didn't imagine it ending this way and still am having a hard time accepting that he's truly gone. I keep waiting for him to come sauntering out of his room wanting me to feed him immediatly.

I guess sighing helps. It kind of releases some of the tension in my heart. I'm actually kind of happy I'm alone because I can grieve freely without having to be aware of other people. This is really hard. It's all I can do to not just sit there and dwell on his death. I know he wouldn't want me to suffer; just like me with him, so I'm going to try and just let it be.

I love you Cooper and miss you forever! I'll see you again in spirit form maybe and we'll tear it up together like we used to my beautiful king. If you're reincarnated you better come back to me and let me know it's you. My soul aches for your presence my best friend. I'll get your food ready.
 

catsknowme

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Condolences on losing Cooper at such a young age - truly the prime of his life! I know that no time is a good time to lose our special kitties, esp. a kitty like Cooper who was Personality+!
I hope that you are able to keep on eating. to help keep you hydrated and your electrolytes balanced, you can try nibbling on crystallized ginger followed by a sip (only a sip) of room temp water. If the crystallized ginger is too spicy, then try some ginger-water, with a small amount of powdered ginger plus a little raw sugar in warm-to-hot water; do only tiny sips at time, otherwise, you might get heaves. Remember to give yourself plenty of time to grieve - this is a shocking experience that you have gone through

And please continue to share with us all about your beautiful boy. It is so nice to know about the RB kitty who has gone to join all our other kitties over RB.
 
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rosiemac

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Just take it one day at a time Mark, but remember that Cooper is watching over you. He isn't grieving like we do because he can still see you and that's what makes it harder for us.

Stay strong for Sampson because he also needs his dad right now because he'll be hurting
Together you can comfort each other
 
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