I agree that you must not go to lunch with her again, unless you are both part of a group. Even if you yourself are not "tempted," you should not spend time with her alone anywhere
-- partly to discourage her interest, partly to avoid the appearance of impropriety, and partly out of respect for your wife.
However, I don't think you ought to directly acknowledge that you think she's "after you." Even if she is
, there are more graceful ways to put a stop to it (see next paragraph). But if you've gotten the wrong impression (it's possible -- I've been accused of flirting myself,
when I honestly had no such thought at all) and she isn't
actually trying to attract your romantic interest... then you'd be making a HUGE MISTAKE. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, except perhaps an innocent
scorned! You could make a vicious enemy of her, and a workplace nightmare
Instead of coming right out with it, I think you should just ease away from the subject. You might pass along some of the suggestions given here -- and to make sure the signal is unambiguous, you could say, "I asked my wife if she had any ideas for you, and she suggested you try Match.com." Then you just need to be unavailable for lunch. Or be sure to invite some coworkers along.
Finally... you said something about your wife spending most of her time with other soccer moms. Do you think maybe you should invite her on a date? Surely you
more exciting company!