Cyber Bullying - Thoughts and Experiences

xlaydeextaniax

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Originally Posted by oOoMissEoOo

I have been a victim of that as well. I used to post on a site called kanditrade. It was one of those rave related type boards. Well, from the start the webmaster and various posters never accepted me because they just thought it was creepy I was still going to raves at my age. And, sadly after time and time of making snotty comments I was banned from that site. They said it was because I was causing drama...buuuut, obviously that was not it. They just had to make themselves not look like the culprits.
goodness me, there's no age limit on going to rave's!


some people eh!
 

ooomisseooo

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Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax

goodness me, there's no age limit on going to rave's!


some people eh!
Exactly!! I mean i've never been one to take part in drug use but only to dance the night away. Personally, I don't feel there is anything wrong with that.
 

xlaydeextaniax

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Originally Posted by oOoMissEoOo

Exactly!! I mean i've never been one to take part in drug use but only to dance the night away. Personally, I don't feel there is anything wrong with that.
yeh, your right! there's nothing wrong with "dancing the night away". the drug use yeh, but most people i'd of thought, are not stupid enough to do that. well, except for the "kid's" LOL!

& face it, that's all they are "kid's", behind these computer screen's!
 

yosemite

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Originally Posted by Rosiemac

My hat goes off to all of you who have spoken about your experiences because i've never been bullied be it in person or online, and i would never allow it to happen anyway.

I wonder how many of them would be like that face to face though?, not many i bet.
I think you are "spot on" there Susan. Bullies are usually cowards IMO.

Originally Posted by jcat

Very good point, Susan! The cowardly hiding behind the anonymity of the screen and keyboard, and playing out their fantasies of power? You've got to wonder what their "real lives" are like, if they have such a thing.

I somehow picture such people as meek, timid little mice who don't dare raise their voices or make demands IRL. I suppose I should pity them, and do, when I'm in a generous mood. Otherwise, I tend to put them in the same category as cockroaches, fleas, ticks, mites, parasitic worms, and mosquitoes, i.e., "pests". I guess you can equate the "ignore" function with a "spot on" treatment for parasites. Or have I become too jaded?
I think this is a pretty honest, realistic view of what a bully really is.
 

emrldsky

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Originally Posted by jcat

Very good point, Susan! The cowardly hiding behind the anonymity of the screen and keyboard, and playing out their fantasies of power? You've got to wonder what their "real lives" are like, if they have such a thing.

I somehow picture such people as meek, timid little mice who don't dare raise their voices or make demands IRL. I suppose I should pity them, and do, when I'm in a generous mood. Otherwise, I tend to put them in the same category as cockroaches, fleas, ticks, mites, parasitic worms, and mosquitoes, i.e., "pests". I guess you can equate the "ignore" function with a "spot on" treatment for parasites. Or have I become too jaded?
As I mentioned, I was party to cyber-bullying in my past and I justified it by saying, "OMG, it's just words on a screen! It's the Internet, not real life!" When you take part in it, you don't see the target as a real person with emotions and feelings...you just view their online identity and get your kicks messing with it. What kids (and some adults) need to realize is that it's not just an online identity you're messing with.

And as I mentioned, I grew up and realized that it's not just words on a screen, and behind every screen name, there is a REAL LIFE person.
 

kittkatt

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Originally Posted by SammiesMom

Been there, been victimized, and it even included the three moderators/owners of the board - they joined in the attack, despite the fact that I had done nothing to violate any Terms of Service. I was later summarily banned without reason. Well, not without reason entirely. One member decided she did not like me and campaigned via PMs and eventually the Mods bought into it...despite the fact that I had done absolutely nothing on their board other than read and post an occasional non-controversial comment.
I've never personally been cyber-bullied myself, but I've seen it happen to others as described above on another forum I used to belong to (which I no longer do, b/c of what occurred there). There was an incident where certain members were asking questions regarding the board's policies & ethics (looong story), and when the members were basically told it was "none of their business" but still persisted in wanting answers, they were threatened with being banned -- and some of them were. The members weren't actually being "bullied" by other members, but by the moderating team itself. It was a sad situation all around, b/c at one time, the board was a really good one: it was a support group dedicated to helping those who had been involved in abusive relationships..


I think it's really sad when a person's life is so unfulfilled that they resort to smear campaigns and bullying techniques.
I've never been a victim of it online, but I have been in my personal life..


~KK~
 

stormchickx

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Cyber-bullying isn't just on websites and message boards, you can get it in chat rooms too. I've been the victim on both kinds. It hurt for awhile but I realized they were only children who meant no harm. Eventually they apologized but I still didn't trust them. Where this happened I won't really say but it's not like it used to be.
 

jcat

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Originally Posted by stormchickx

Cyber-bullying isn't just on websites and message boards, you can get it in chat rooms too. I've been the victim on both kinds. It hurt for awhile but I realized they were only children who meant no harm. Eventually they apologized but I still didn't trust them. Where this happened I won't really say but it's not like it used to be.
I imagine it's even more of a problem in chat rooms, because they're so much faster-paced, and people don't reflect much before clicking the "send" button.
 

nekochan

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I had a "cyber stalker"... An ex-friend of mine would follow me into every online chat room I visited (mostly dog or pet chat) on AOL and then say bad things about me and lie in the room. Of course, most of the people who visited the room knew me and they all defended me and heckled her until she'd leave the room...
 

lunasmom

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Originally Posted by jcat

I imagine it's even more of a problem in chat rooms, because they're so much faster-paced, and people don't reflect much before clicking the "send" button.
I remember way back in the day when the WWW became commercialized, being in chat rooms and some nutcase would appear and just start picking on one person. Usually they were banned within 2-4 minutes after their appearance. The moderators for those chatrooms were good about being quick.

I've been trying to think if I've ever been bullied before online...probably but if I was it didn't last long. Usually I bluffed them that I had their IP address, their last name and address and was going to the police with screen shots of everything they sent me.

I can't find whoever said, but you're right. Any text online is just words...however we feel at the time we read these words reflects on how to interpret them. The smilies were created to help alleviate that.
 

jean-ji

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I haven't been bullied, just had a few bad encounters. I find forums for whatever car I have owned: Jeep, Mini and now a Prius. These boards can get rough. The majority of posters are men and they don't mince words. I've learned to be careful and to be truthful, I don't post much out of fear. I don't like confrontation and some of these guys are looking for nothing else. It's their way or the highway...literally. The forums are informative, so I mainly lurk.

I prefer the gentler, kinder TCS and if I want a bit of rough, the IMO forum does it for me.
 

lsulover

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Originally Posted by adymarie

In my opinion there is a major difference between being bullied and just not getting along.

I have been a member of various online communities for over 7 years. Rarely have I seen true bullying. I have seen parting of the ways due to miss and non communication. I have seen disagreements blown out of proportion. I have seen sides taken and beliefs held on to regardless of evidence and only based on friendship and not the truth. I have seen back stabbing and in fighting, but true, down and out bullying on the communities i have been involved with are rare.

To me true cyberbullying involves the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others. Mostly I have seen stubborn people refusing to back down or change opinions and that has led to conflict.
Good post adymarie, I agree with you.

The kind of stuff you described happens all the time, it would be nice if everyone could get along and respect others, but it just does not happen.

I personally do not let stuff like this bother me, LIFE is too short to worry about it. And even though I have met some of my "internet friends" in person, others I have never met and will probably never meet. I just don't worry about stuff like that, and I just don't get involved in it. I think that everyone is entitled to their opinions, and others might not think the same way as me, and that is ok, that is their opinion.
 

xlaydeextaniax

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Originally Posted by jean-ji

I haven't been bullied, just had a few bad encounters. I find forums for whatever car I have owned: Jeep, Mini and now a Prius. These boards can get rough. The majority of posters are men and they don't mince words. I've learned to be careful and to be truthful, I don't post much out of fear. I don't like confrontation and some of these guys are looking for nothing else. It's their way or the highway...literally. The forums are informative, so I mainly lurk.

I prefer the gentler, kinder TCS and if I want a bit of rough, the IMO forum does it for me.
i agree 100%! i used to be on a car site, one local to my area. all the men on there are not nice. they think that women don't know anything about car's. so therefore, they don't think we know what we're talking about! typical "man" behaviour if you ask me.
 

strange_wings

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Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax

i agree 100%! i used to be on a car site, one local to my area. all the men on there are not nice. they think that women don't know anything about car's. so therefore, they don't think we know what we're talking about! typical "man" behaviour if you ask me.
Easy solution there. Don't make yourself stand out, it's not necessary for interaction. Pick a vague user name and don't let people know if you're male or female. You're a person who wants to discuss cars, that's all they need to know.
 

xlaydeextaniax

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

Easy solution there. Don't make yourself stand out, it's not necessary for interaction. Pick a vague user name and don't let people know if you're male or female. You're a person who wants to discuss cars, that's all they need to know.
actually, i never thought of that one! i think i may start using that site again now!
 

jcat

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Originally Posted by jean-ji

I prefer the gentler, kinder TCS and if I want a bit of rough, the IMO forum does it for me.
As one of the IMO mods, I feel called upon to comment. It does get a bit rough in there at times, as it's a forum for debates, and people tend to disagree. Things will really heat up as the U.S. elections draw closer.

All posts are read, but obviously not 24/7, and we make an attempt to intervene as little as possible, unless remarks become too personal and insulting. We tend to post "reminders/warnings" in threads before resorting to official warnings and infractions, although they are sometimes necessary, too.

Unfortunately, I've read/participated in other boards where posts seem to be moderated perhaps once a week, if at all, and at times have just shook my head in disgust.
 

strange_wings

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Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax

actually, i never thought of that one! i think i may start using that site again now!
Sometimes it's more fun to keep them guessing.
Ah, I miss the old SNL skits with Pat (that suddenly popped into my mind).
I've been referred to as he and it several times before in chat rooms, I find it funny.
 

xlaydeextaniax

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

Sometimes it's more fun to keep them guessing.
Ah, I miss the old SNL skits with Pat (that suddenly popped into my mind).
I've been referred to as he and it several times before in chat rooms, I find it funny.


LOL, am certainly going to give it a go now!


but, what i was trying to point out is, people shouldn't have to hide what they really are. just doesn't seem at all fair, if you get me?
 

jean-ji

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Originally Posted by jcat

As one of the IMO mods, I feel called upon to comment. It does get a bit rough in there at times, as it's a forum for debates, and people tend to disagree. Things will really heat up as the U.S. elections draw closer.

All posts are read, but obviously not 24/7, and we make an attempt to intervene as little as possible, unless remarks become too personal and insulting. We tend to post "reminders/warnings" in threads before resorting to official warnings and infractions, although they are sometimes necessary, too.

Unfortunately, I've read/participated in other boards where posts seem to be moderated perhaps once a week, if at all, and at times have just shook my head in disgust.
I meant no criticism at all about IMO, I just meant that is as rough as TCS gets, which is no where near the level of animosity and intensity on other boards I've been on. Every one on IMO is fairly well behaved and I have seen the mods interject to keep things on an even keel. No offense intended at all. I visit IMO like I do the Rainbow Bridge, I definitely have to be in a certain frame of mind to venture into either one. That has to do with me, not the forums.

Edit: In case I'm not being clear about this, I love TCS and feel safe and at home here.
 

natalie_ca

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Here is a step in the right direction! New Jersey is seeking records of registered users at a particular gossip site that is geared to anonymous, often malicious gossip about college students.

The investigation began last month when a student came forward who had been terrorized by posts on the Web site that included her address. Prosecutors have subpoenaed information from JuicyCampus on how it is run, citing concerns about "unconscionable commercial practices."
 
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