I don't have to go, right?

swampwitch

swampwitch

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A post doc who works for my husband, who I'll call "Clara" is getting married this summer. Clara is not the easiest person to get along with, but my husband has a good working relationship with her. I get along with Clara at social-work gatherings but I don't ever see her outside of those functions.

I just received an email from a friend of Clara's inviting me to a gathering of her friends at a spa day. I don't want to spend the day like that! I don't want to socialize with Clara. What should I say to this friend? How should I respond?

I believe she is inviting me out of courtesy to my husband. Help!
 
brandi

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I would reply with a simple "Thank you for inviting me, but I have already made plans for that day...maybe next time" or something to that effect
 
theimp98

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i would just say, i have other plans for that day. but thank you.
i would leave out the part about next time
 
lillekat

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I agree - you can definitely get out of it by just thanking her for thinking of you and inviting you, but it's a shame you already have plans elsewhere. She can't really argue with that.
 
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Yes definitely; I have done that before when I wanted to get out of hen parties etc. Just say you have something on!
 
gailc

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I agree with the others I would not feel obligated to attend.
 
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You have every right to refuse without giving ANY excuses, real or fabricated but I would just say "Thank you for the invitation but I will be unable to attend" - period. That's all you need say. That way you don't have to come up with lies and excuses that you have to remember in case you are in her company another time and the subject comes up.
 
beck4582

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Originally Posted by Yosemite

You have every right to refuse without giving ANY excuses, real or fabricated but I would just say "Thank you for the invitation but I will be unable to attend" - period. That's all you need say. That way you don't have to come up with lies and excuses that you have to remember in case you are in her company another time and the subject comes up.
Click to expand...
Yeah - I agree.
 
clairebear

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I agree with everyone else, just thank her for thinking of inviting you, but tell her that you already have plans.
 
laureen227

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Originally Posted by theimp98

i would just say, i have other plans for that day. but thank you.
i would leave out the part about next time
Click to expand...
if you don't ever want to participate, don't put that part in.
 
sarahp

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Does your husband think you should attend, or will he understand that you wouldn't feel comfortable spending a day socialising with her?
 
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swampwitch

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I haven't told husband yet (he's been away on business) but he will totally understand that I don't want to do it.

The spa date is on a Wednesday afternoon and the spouses are joining for dinner afterwards, and she knows I'm a sahm and that my schedule is pretty easy.

Our daughter will be having spring break, and she could easily go to a friend's house, so I really don't have any excuses and I'm a terrible liar.

Thanks everyone for the advice! I'm thinking Yosemite is right and I shouldn't give a reason and just a "thank you but no." Wish me luck. I don't want to tick her off; like I said she's not very easy to get along with.
 
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