or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Health › Hypertension? Overactive Thyroid? My beloved 38lb cat just went blind!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Hypertension? Overactive Thyroid? My beloved 38lb cat just went blind! - Page 3  

post #61 of 96
not the news i wanted to hear... or you either, i know continuing to send & for you & both of your kitties... this will be hard on Cooper's brother, too.
post #62 of 96
I am so sorry the news wasn't positive, and send chin skritches to Cooper.
post #63 of 96
May your remaining time with Cooper be filled with peace and love.
post #64 of 96
I am so sorry. I know you'll take great care of Cooper during his last days.

post #65 of 96
Thread Starter 
Thank-you everyone for your kind words and condolences. It really helps. I'm not so good at dealing with loss honestly, so left to my own devices I'll consume myself with sadness and dread and end up having a harder time then I should. The only real loss I've dealt with in my life was of course my 1st love. After 3.5yrs of knowing somebody and then having them be gone it's really hard too. It broke my heart. This will too. I recovered though from her not being around, so I'll get over Cooper passing away, but from now until then and some after I'll be inconsolable.

I think now the main goals are keeping close tabs on him so he doesn't get lost in the house or scared and then basically waiting for his body to give out. The vet said it's seizures next, so I'm worried about that. Basically I'll stick by his side 24/7 as best I can and comfort him until God decides he needs him. Then it's time for his journey and me to grieve. Life will go on though like it always does haha. I'll let everyone know how he's doing every so often. Hopefully he can make it through the summer because he sure does love the sun. Take care everyone and thanks again from the bottom of my heart.
post #66 of 96
Seizures look very scary, but the one having the seizure feels nothing. After the seizure is over, it is common to be a bit confused and very tired. Think of a seizure as a power surge, only in the brain.
Just keep Cooper in a protected location. Being there for him is the only thing you can do.
post #67 of 96

It's brought tears to my eyes to read this. Be strong...
enjoy your time with Cooper as well you can.
post #68 of 96
Thread Starter 
Another long response, but warranted!

Anyway, I wish I could say he rallied, but the opposite is true. About 4:00 this afternoon he took a turn for the worse. He has officially stopped eating, has a weird fishy odor to him, slept in his litter box for a bit, had a minor seizure, is almost completely unresponsive, has raspy breathing, and worst of all; stopped purring.

Cooper is known for his super loud purr and because he purrs no matter what all the time. He even purred at the vet's when he was scared. He isn't purring anymore and his balance is off and he's started to wander aimlessly when he can get up. I think he's looking for a place to die. I groomed him for the last time so I can present him to the other side looking his best. I'm trying to say goodbye, but nothing is good enough. I just want him to know how special he was and how much I adored him. I thought comforting him was best, but he seems almost annoyed by it. This is so hard.

I have to go to sleep soon, and I'm terrified something is going to happen. Since he sleeps in his room I'm not close enough. I may just sleep close by tonight. I want to make sure he feels secluded and secure though as I know that's how cats prefer to die. Tonight is going to be a very big night for him as it's probably going to be the conclusion of his life. I know that I did my best and showed him all my love, but no matter how I try and slice it I just always end up terribly sad.

Even as I write this he's trying to get up and failing. His head is starting to shake around. I think it's the onset of something more formidable. I have to decide if I'm going to have him put down or just let him ride it out. I think as long as there's no pain I'll let nature take its course as I don't want to tempt the powers that be unless I really have to.

I just want everyone to know that the world is losing one of the best cats in history. He is absolutely drop dead gorgeous and very interactive, curious, and loving. He made me proud as can be and I always was talking about him and showing him off. He never ceased to shock anyone seeing him for the 1st time, but then won their heart almost immediatly with his personality. Everyone who had the pleasure of meeting him always remembered him and asked about him. He will be terribly missed by many. This is a huge loss for me and I'm going to be inconsolable for a long long time.

This is just so weird and miserable. He looks just fine sitting there staring off into space, but he's in bad shape; on his deathbed in fact. I just am simply not ready for this. It happened so fast. He was totally fine 2 weeks ago. Then I noticed he was blind, then he was diagnosed with cryptococcus today, and within a few hours he's ailing really bad. I can just watch his brain being affected by this disease. It's just so swift and relentless. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. They want to take a tissue sample after he dies, but I said absolutely not. Nobody is hacking up my beautiful boy no matter what the reason.

I'm happy I found this site for the good people and also the good information. It's made this slightly easier which is really appreciated. This thread has kind of been my log and diary to keep track of what's going on and just write things out. I truly appreciate having the medium to share Cooper with everyone. Thanks again for everything. Take care everyone.
post #69 of 96
So sorry about your Cat. It made me Cry too.
post #70 of 96
Cats are so good at hiding their pain and illness that it often happens that they are near death before we realize anything is wrong. Our first cat, Snoopy, was that way. His kidneys started failing, and he went from looking just fine to being put to sleep in less than a week.

And no matter what, Cooper will leave a hole just exactly his size and shape in your heart, and nothing you can do will ever perfectly fill it in. But that way, he will always be with you, and not as he is now, but as he was in his best days.
post #71 of 96
All I can say is I'm sorry. When it happens quickly it is easier on them, but harder on us. Now you give your self time to grieve, but please come back for support. You are not alone in this. No two people feel the pain of loss the same, but we have all felt loss in our own ways. Please lean on us for help!
post #72 of 96
Originally Posted by mrblanche View Post
And no matter what, Cooper will leave a hole just exactly his size and shape in your heart, and nothing you can do will ever perfectly fill it in. But that way, he will always be with you, and not as he is now, but as he was in his best days.
i agree wholeheartedly with the above.

i lost my cat last oct. it was just under 3 weeks from the first vet visit (little weight loss, nothing major) to janet being pts, another victim of FIP.

i'm so truly sorry that this awful thing is happening to your beautiful, big boy. you are in my thoughts, both of you.
post #73 of 96
i dont know how i missed this post but i just sat and read through it all and i have a lump in my throat
I am so sorry , i know no words can make you feel better so im sending big
post #74 of 96
I'm so sorry to hear about Cooper. We are all here for you.
post #75 of 96
Thread Starter 
Well I stayed with him throughout the night. About 3:00am he urinated all over himself and the floor so I cleaned him up and brought him into my bed. He then had a little seizure at 5:00am and I thought he was gone, but he stayed with me. He tried to walk about 8:00am and just went in a circle which I know is a sure sign of severe brain damage. Now at 1:00pm he tried and can't even walk. Not even in circles. He's too weak and his cordination is gone.

I did get him to eat last night about midnight. He ate a lot. Almost as if he knew it was the last time he'd eat. He adored food when he was well, and now he's not even looking at it. He's not happy anymore either. Everything has just come to a head so quickly. I think if he hasn't passed by tomorrow then I'll have him put to sleep here. It's really a hard call, but his quality of life it totally gone. He's miserable, I'm miserable; I think it may be time just to let him go. It's such a hard decision to make though because he's not in pain from what I see, but he isn't happy at all.

My vet is in surgery right now, but he's supposed to call me back and then I'll see what we can do as far as having him put down here. All I know for sure right now is that this is the absolute hardest time in my life. I unconditionally love Cooper more than anything I ever have on earth. I never met my real family and he's the closest thing I've ever had. I miss him terribly already. My life is going to be really hard for the next while.

I'll keep everyone updated. At this point he's a goner though. He can't recover and is going downhill fast. I'm going to miss his beautiful soft coat and his huge nipples that he wasn't afraid to let hang out haha. Thanks again everyone.
post #76 of 96
As difficult as it is, holding Cooper and whispering to him as your vet administers the final medication, is very rewarding.
It takes courage to do this but know that the last thing Cooper will hear is his daddy's loving voice.
Your precious boy will always be with you in your heart.
post #77 of 96
This may sound silly, but have you told him it's OK to let go? Sometimes I think they hold on to keep us happy. Hold him talk to him and tell him it is OK.
post #78 of 96
Originally Posted by xocats View Post
As difficult as it is, holding Cooper and whispering to him as your vet administers the final medication, is very rewarding.
It takes courage to do this but know that the last thing Cooper will hear is his daddy's loving voice.
Your precious boy will always be with you in your heart.

I agree with this. I've been in this situation before, and as difficult as it is, I think not only will you feel better for being there to comfort and say good-bye to Cooper, it will also be of great comfort to Cooper to have you there during his final moments.

I'm so sorry to hear such heartbreaking news. I also apologize for not responding sooner than now, but I haven't logged on to TCS for a few days, and am now just reading this. I know how it feels to lose a beloved pet, but if Cooper no longer has a good quality of life left, you will be doing the right thing by ending his suffering. I'm so sorry..

post #79 of 96
Thread Starter 
As of 5:00PM PST on March 12, 2008 Cooper S. Hruby has gone home. I made the decision this afternoon to have him put down. He was just so gone and wasn't eating and couldn't even walk anymore. He was circling and couldn't sleep. I was starting to suspect he may have been feeling pain. It was apparent that the only thing his future held was more suffering and I didn't want that.

The vet was very good and came over to my house so Cooper could take his journey in the comfort of his own home. He administered a sedative and then let me say goodbye. I balled like a baby. Then after he was totally unresponsive he injected him with the final solution. My damn phone was ringing while this went on, so I ran out turned it off, and came back to his side. I laid my head on him while he died. He didn't release any fluids or waste and seriously just stopped breathing within 30 seconds. Right now I'm just in major shock that he's gone. I mean all of this happened within a handful of days.

I have arranged for a private cremation as my mind will not be nice to me if I just bury him in the backyard. I'll picture him decomposing and all that terrible nonsense. This way I get back his, and only his, ashes. I'm then going to spread a little bit everywhere that was of importance in his life. I will now grieve for my big beautiful boy until my tears run dry. The pain I feel today will not ever go away. It may be tolerable later down the line, but I owe it to him not to hide any of my feelings. His brother is wondering what happened and I'm sure will shortly be affected by his Coo-Bear's passing. I can say without hesitation that I loved this cat more than anything I have ever loved and probably will ever love. He was so special to me that words can't begin to explain. I feel like I want to roll over and die from grief and heartbreak.

R.I.P. Cooper. You Will Be Forever Missed.
post #80 of 96
So sorry about Cooper. When Stormy and Yoshi were Pts in Dec and Jan I got a nice card with the Rainbow Bridge Poem in it. The Ashes came back in a Velvet Bag with a card too.
post #81 of 96
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. May Cooper rest in peace.
post #82 of 96

I am crying for you.

This is so hard, hold on... and don't forget that his brother needs you too, more than ever.

RIP Cooper
post #83 of 96
Originally Posted by saya View Post

I am crying for you.

This is so hard, hold on... and don't forget that his brother needs you too, more than ever.

RIP Cooper
You did your best. You were there with him and he was at home, surrounded by love. And he knew that. Play happily over the bridge Cooper.
post #84 of 96
Thread Starter 
Thank-you for all the condolences and gifts. I honestly just miss him terribly. It's as simple as that. The house is so empty without him. At least since he went blind he's been isolating himself more so I was weened off him a little bit, but having him ailing and still around, to totally gone forever is a big change. I will never forget today though. It's seared into my heart and soul as a terrible day that I lost him. There is nothing good about death, at least for those of us still alive.

I tried to read that Rainbow Bridge thing, but I'm having a hard time accepting that I'll see him again as I've always thought of death as a simple expiring without anything afterwards. If there is any truth to it I'll be so happy to touch, smell, kiss, hug, feed, play, and groom him again. I'd give everything up for just one more year with him in good health. He was such a genuine pleasure to have known. He only died 3hrs ago, so I'm still processing this. Hence all the lengthy responses. Feel free to skim them over because I'm honestly writing them for me so I can try and wrap my head around what's happened. I'm not saying I don't truly appreciate all of your help because it has made it easier. Thank-you again from the bottom of my beat up old heart.

Either way knowing that he's resting and doesn't have to suffer offers me a little comfort. What him and I experienced together was so special and private that nothing on earth can take that away from me. I raised him from a little baby who could sleep in my hand to a mountain of a spoiled rotten cat haha. I wasn't stingy on love either. I wore my heart on my sleeve with him and will continue to do so.

He was with us for only 6 or 7 short years, but in that time he witnessed me grow from a boy to a man, open my heart fully to him, and lived an absolutely opulent and spoiled existence. I'm now glad that I never put him on an aggressive diet or anything because that's not what causes his death. FIV and the truly nasty Cryptococcus were what did him in at the end. The disease comes from pigeons, so in the end it was a damn bird that did him in. What cruel irony. Since he was diagnosed with FIV I've known in the back of my mind and heart that something would happen, but nothing prepared me for such a rapid decline in his health. I called the vet today to get the number for a private crematorium and ended up standing by while he passed on only a mere hour later. Nothing can prepare one's heart for that.

Anyway, I'm a jumbled mess of feelings right now, but know eventually I'll be able to come to terms with this. I mean no matter what pets die before the owner so everyone has to deal with it. If it's this hard for a cat then I simply cannot imagine what it would be like with a human. My neighbor lady is about 90 years-old and her husband of many many years passed on a little while back. How did she deal with that?! What about when a kid goes off to school and never comes back?! How on earth can the parents cope with that? We sure do pay to play in this so called game of life. Death just feels so wrong to me and I guess it's now at the forefront of my mental struggles.

I guess I'm rambling on again, but it does me good to write things down. It's part of my process. I think I'll now go weep uncontrolably in a vain attempt to get this physical pain in my heart to go down a little bit. Take care everybody.
post #85 of 96
Thread Starter 
Here's a little note I wrote for my beloved boy:

RIP Coo-Bear; you were the single most important animal, human or otherwise, in this last decade of my life. Gone but never forgotten my good friend. I know you had to go home for good today and I don't hold it against you at all, but your Dad sure is hurting without you. Everything reminds me of you. The feeding area, your bed, your hair everywhere, your smell, your favorite toy, they are here for you if you decide to stop back by in spirit. If you really are somewhere else then please know I have undying and unconditional love for you. Until next time; may your food dish always be full, your bed always comfortable, and your heart always at peace. Love always, Dad
post #86 of 96
i totally get your shock... when Mouse got sick, i took her in to 4 different vets. no one ever could determine what she was ill from, & she was gone only 10 short days after her first vet visit for her illness.
i still miss her, 3 years later. i've added 4 cats to my household since she left, but the hole she left is still there...
to you for making that hardest of decisions & allowing Cooper to go to a place where he's healthy once more.
post #87 of 96
I just spend a half hour reading all of your posts... I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out! I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a cat suddenly. My husband and I used to have Checkers, a black and white kitty. He was only about 10 months old when he died. We still don't know why he died. It could be a number of different things. But the strange thing was... he was perfectly fine that morning when I went to work. I mean, NOTHING seemed wrong with him. He'd had all his shots, was cleared of any disease when he was tested a few months back, and was just a happy, sweet, loving kitty. That was my husband's favorite, by the way.

So I'm at work all day and all night (I worked a double shift), and we're not allowed to carry our cell phones with us (I work in a restaurant), so my hubby couldn't get a hold of me. He had come home that night around 6 and went to go pick him up and take him to bed later that night, and he was lying in the back room in a corner. He thought he was sleeping. He went to pet him and found that he was stiff. He had been dead for several hours.

When he finally got me on the phone, it was around 10, so he had to deal with that for a few hours by himself. I felt so bad! I was in shock about it. I was crying so hard on the way home... I couldn't even finish the drive. I called my parents and went over there and mom took me home while dad drove my car home. They helped us bury him and all that.

He looked fine though. There were no injuries, no swelling, nothing. To have him autopsied would have been so expensive and we couldn't have afforded it, so we just had to let him go in peace and know that he didn't suffer before he died. He looked so peaceful. It's like his heart just stopped all of a sudden. My husband and I both took it really hard. We still have our other kitties, Spock & Saki, and we love them unconditionally, but it's still hard. Every now and then we'll find a little white hair on a blanket or something, and know it could only belong to Checkers. It brings back all those memories of him.

I didn't intend to share this whole story with you, but hopefully now that I did, it will bring you a bit of comfort knowing you're not alone. It's hard to lose a kitty, especially one you've had for years. I lost my first kitty a few years ago. I'd had her since I was 9. She was 9 years old. One day she just didn't come home. I was very upset of course. So again, I know what you're dealing with.

Sorry for the long post! I hope everything turns out well for you, and remember, Sampson needs you right now more than ever. Much love, and don't cry too hard! We're rooting for you!
post #88 of 96
Never doubt how much your beautiful boy knew you loved him. It is so hard to miss their very presence. The house is empty. Each one is special and places a unique stamp on our hearts.

Whatever there is or isn't for an afterlife. What is certain is the bond and love you shared while Cooper was on this earth with you. Nothing will ever change that

In the end you did the kindest most giving thing you could, despite the pain to you.

keep your heart open, Cooper is going to send you another kitty in the future. It may be next week or in 5 years. Trust me though, you will know the one Cooper sends.

Lots love and light to heal your broken heart being sent.
post #89 of 96
Thread Starter 
Thank-you a ton for those 2 posts. They were very helpful to me and of course brought the tears back out. This is terrible. I stayed up with him most of the night last night so got next to nothing for sleep. Then I had to deal with his death today so I'm really drained physically and emotionally. I can't sleep though. I'm just too sad. I finally ate something, but if anything I felt worse. I miss him so so bad tonight. I've only lost it into deep heavy sobbing twice today (right after the vet left with him and again just about 15 mins ago), but have been crying or on the edge of crying all day. Even for the last few days watching him go downhill has had me devastated.

I keep thinking all these crazy thoughts. For instance, what if the vet didn't administer enough of the sedative and he only appeared dead? What if he was put in the freezer and woke up in there for a little bit?! I know it sounds absurd and probably is, but I'm just sharing my thought process. I'm also picturing him dead in the freezer. I know he's there still and he still has his beautiful coat and face. I know it's crazy talk, but the "what ifs" just start bombarding my brain. I just want some relief from this absolute misery I'm feeling. I live alone and it's oh so lonely here right now. Sampson is here, but he has the lovingness of a piece of granite compared to his lovable brother.

I guess the bottom line is that I'm just grieving. We all have our ways of dealing with it, but mine is especially rowdy I'd imagine. I can't let things go and only focus on the bad. It's just when you're used to having a companion by your side for 7 years (human or not!), and then they're suddenly gone; it's quite a bit to deal with in my opinion. Everything reminds me of him. He's on my mind absolutely every second. He's only been gone about 7hrs, so I'm just now realizing he's truly gone and NEVER coming back. He was so beautiful and smart, and came when you called like a dog; better than a dog. Only to me too. I was his protector, father, and companion almost every day for 7 years and now that he's gone I'm going downhill emotionally rather quick.

I choose to grieve alone because it can get pretty messy and uncomfortable unless the person is grieving with you, but honestly I'm having a hard time of it tonight. I feel like I can't explain how deeply I loved him and how special our connection was. Our hearts communicated just fine, with no species barrier at all. He loved me unconditionally and me the same for him. In the last 4 years since it's truly been just me and my boys; really formed an imeasurebly strong bond with him. I just knew what he wanted and he trusted me enough to provide that for him.

Haha, before I go rattling on I'll make this the last paragraph or so. Thank-you everyone for letting me be your shoulder to cry on. It's a little less messy this way haha. I will admit that I would actually prefer to be with someone tonight that would let me mourn with them, but that's not going to happen. Nobody loved Cooper like I did, so anyone else coming over to my house would be consoling me, which I don't want I don't think.

I'd rather look like a spewing mess of tears and snot alone than have someone watch me. Now if they'd just lost a cat they adored them like I did Cooper then that would be fine. No matter though; I'm definitely gritting this one out myself, but no sleep, not much food, and a brain able to consume me alive (emotionally)isn't exactly the best combination for what I'm going through.
I'll check back in tomorrow to log some more about how I'm dealing with this and what's going on with the ashes too. Hopefully someone else can see this thread and learn something from it, or see it after their cat's died and see that they're not alone. I'm never the type of guy to frequent a Cat Forum, but this place is actually really great and people are real here which on most other forums is discouraged; at least the car forums I frequent sometimes.

Take care everyone and send a soul flare to Cooper so he can feel all the love and light wherever his soul may be, Hopefully it's close to me because I sure do miss him. I found some videos of him on my phone and that's when I lost it for the 2nd time. There he is not more than a couple months ago just fine and dandy. That's a real burner haha. That's why the 2nd absolute devastated sobbing happened haha. Maybe I should hold off on them until I've sorted this out. Anyway, enough rambling. I'll check back in soon with another Novel.
post #90 of 96
The love that you share with Cooper transcends death.
Your precious boy will always be with you.
Until you are together again...
Rest in peace sweet Cooper.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Cat Health
This thread is locked  
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Health › Hypertension? Overactive Thyroid? My beloved 38lb cat just went blind!