I apologize in advance that this is quite long.
It's been 9 months since Eric's cats moved into my house, they are both female calicos, age 12. When they moved in, I had Buddy who was about their age, a calm, in-control, cool guy. And Mia, who was not quite a year old. Sadly my precious Budbud passed away on Nov 28, 3 months ago today. Since then there have been increasing behavioral problems in this once-peaceful house. Of course this being today it's bothering me especially badly. My baby boy died of a cancer in his neck that began pushing his throat shut.
He's now with his precious big sister Cilla, my two angels are once again together.
Buddy took Mia under his wing after I brought her home as a kitten, it had been about six months since Cilla left us. Buddy warmed up to her in just a couple weeks and they became fast friends and snuggle pals. We had nearly a year where it was just me, Mia, and Bud.
Then Eric's ladies moved in last May. He hadn't moved in yet, but was here most nights. Buddy was quite tolerant, Mia less so. And the ladies kept to themselves and stayed pretty unfriendly to the other two. This was fine for me! I knew I could never expect them all to be pals, ignoring each other was fine with me.
Ever since Buddy "went to the bridge" Mia has become more and more aggressive toward the other cats. Nothing where anyone is in grave danger, but seeing scratches on the faces of Eric's ladies isn't unusual, and it makes me really upset. Obviously Buddy's presence here held down a hierarchy which is now gone. Eric also moved permanently in at that time as he was helping me take care of Buddy around the clock in his last weeks. So that was a change as well.
To distract Mia we brought home Shiloh, a content little boy who likes *everyone* - even the Ladies! These ladies have never lived with another cat, and they snuggle up to Shiloh, he's a charmer. Then he'll be snuggled with Mia 15 minutes later... And it did help her to have someone to play with instead of constantly harassing the ladies. And they play, and they play...
Well, it didn't work entirely. Mia began ambushing Patch and Smudge in the litterpan a few months ago. We've expanded our pan collection to 4 or 5 now. Everyone is jumpy (except Shiloh). I still catch Mia running up to swat one of the ladies in the window. Or running out to find them when she hears the sound of scratching litter. The girls had taken to the bed for a few weeks, which was fine. We have a pan there in the room, and their food on the dresser. They seem to pick a certain area and hang out there for a period of time - either the living room or the bedroom. Shiloh slept on the bed whenever he wanted and they didn't care. Mia might jump up, get hissed at and immediately leave. At first I felt sorry for her.
Then, after two giant pees in the bed, we realized that the ladies were more and more afraid to get down off the bed and use the pan, so one of them was periodically wetting the bed (not spraying - like, you know, a gallon of pee). Once last week I went to fluff the blankets in the morning only to find bouncing poop on the top covers.
At this point we isolated who we think was the culprit and put her upstairs with a pan and her food. She's feisty but scared, and Mia seems to take particular issue with her. She's fine upstairs, we let her sister up there as well. We were trying to get a urine sample to move forward with medical tests so we could get to some behavior counseling or meds so I had to keep her alone so as to attempt to get this urine sample without her going outside the pan... another deal altogether.
Well, this afternoon I heard a ruckus in the living room and Mia had jumped into the window where Patch was sleeping and they tangled. Mia had no reason to be in there, and Patch was in plain view. I don't know why she does this. Well, I leaned over to pet Patcho only to put my hand into a pee-soaked sofa cushion.
The litter pan isn't more than 10 feet away, but Patch was afraid to get out of the window. And apparently let out a full bladder onto my sofa and footstool.
Patch is brave enough to slink into the other room to scout for food on occasion, but I did read that going potty is when they are most vulnerable. Anyway, now we know that both of the ladies are having "accidents" and I think that Mia is the problem, rather than Smudge having an inappropriate peeing problem. She's been using her pan wonderfully when she's alone or with her sister. I guarded the doorway as Patch used her pan this afternoon, she was so nervous and jumpy she didn't even cover it all up, I gave her some treats afterwards.
Mia and Smudge were doing that "blocking the doorway" stuff when everyone was sharing the same space. Then there would be big tangles and fights. Mia is jumpy and seems fearful, yet she is definitely the aggressor. She gets downright mean - stalking and attacking them when they're sleeping or going potty. This breaks my heart, and I don't know what to do. This doesn't seem like a medical problem with any of them, it seems like a social hierarchy/ territory problem. Most likely it was brought on by the changes - Eric moving in and mostly Buddy's passing.
Is there a solution besides keeping doors between them all the time? I love them all, but this house used to be peaceful. Now it's not... and I'm breaking up fights and cleaning up pee all the time.
sincerely,
Gina
p.s. We really don't want to give up Mia, but her behavior sure wouldn't be making her big brother proud
.
It's been 9 months since Eric's cats moved into my house, they are both female calicos, age 12. When they moved in, I had Buddy who was about their age, a calm, in-control, cool guy. And Mia, who was not quite a year old. Sadly my precious Budbud passed away on Nov 28, 3 months ago today. Since then there have been increasing behavioral problems in this once-peaceful house. Of course this being today it's bothering me especially badly. My baby boy died of a cancer in his neck that began pushing his throat shut.
Buddy took Mia under his wing after I brought her home as a kitten, it had been about six months since Cilla left us. Buddy warmed up to her in just a couple weeks and they became fast friends and snuggle pals. We had nearly a year where it was just me, Mia, and Bud.
Then Eric's ladies moved in last May. He hadn't moved in yet, but was here most nights. Buddy was quite tolerant, Mia less so. And the ladies kept to themselves and stayed pretty unfriendly to the other two. This was fine for me! I knew I could never expect them all to be pals, ignoring each other was fine with me.
Ever since Buddy "went to the bridge" Mia has become more and more aggressive toward the other cats. Nothing where anyone is in grave danger, but seeing scratches on the faces of Eric's ladies isn't unusual, and it makes me really upset. Obviously Buddy's presence here held down a hierarchy which is now gone. Eric also moved permanently in at that time as he was helping me take care of Buddy around the clock in his last weeks. So that was a change as well.
To distract Mia we brought home Shiloh, a content little boy who likes *everyone* - even the Ladies! These ladies have never lived with another cat, and they snuggle up to Shiloh, he's a charmer. Then he'll be snuggled with Mia 15 minutes later... And it did help her to have someone to play with instead of constantly harassing the ladies. And they play, and they play...
Well, it didn't work entirely. Mia began ambushing Patch and Smudge in the litterpan a few months ago. We've expanded our pan collection to 4 or 5 now. Everyone is jumpy (except Shiloh). I still catch Mia running up to swat one of the ladies in the window. Or running out to find them when she hears the sound of scratching litter. The girls had taken to the bed for a few weeks, which was fine. We have a pan there in the room, and their food on the dresser. They seem to pick a certain area and hang out there for a period of time - either the living room or the bedroom. Shiloh slept on the bed whenever he wanted and they didn't care. Mia might jump up, get hissed at and immediately leave. At first I felt sorry for her.
Then, after two giant pees in the bed, we realized that the ladies were more and more afraid to get down off the bed and use the pan, so one of them was periodically wetting the bed (not spraying - like, you know, a gallon of pee). Once last week I went to fluff the blankets in the morning only to find bouncing poop on the top covers.
At this point we isolated who we think was the culprit and put her upstairs with a pan and her food. She's feisty but scared, and Mia seems to take particular issue with her. She's fine upstairs, we let her sister up there as well. We were trying to get a urine sample to move forward with medical tests so we could get to some behavior counseling or meds so I had to keep her alone so as to attempt to get this urine sample without her going outside the pan... another deal altogether.
Well, this afternoon I heard a ruckus in the living room and Mia had jumped into the window where Patch was sleeping and they tangled. Mia had no reason to be in there, and Patch was in plain view. I don't know why she does this. Well, I leaned over to pet Patcho only to put my hand into a pee-soaked sofa cushion.
Patch is brave enough to slink into the other room to scout for food on occasion, but I did read that going potty is when they are most vulnerable. Anyway, now we know that both of the ladies are having "accidents" and I think that Mia is the problem, rather than Smudge having an inappropriate peeing problem. She's been using her pan wonderfully when she's alone or with her sister. I guarded the doorway as Patch used her pan this afternoon, she was so nervous and jumpy she didn't even cover it all up, I gave her some treats afterwards.
Mia and Smudge were doing that "blocking the doorway" stuff when everyone was sharing the same space. Then there would be big tangles and fights. Mia is jumpy and seems fearful, yet she is definitely the aggressor. She gets downright mean - stalking and attacking them when they're sleeping or going potty. This breaks my heart, and I don't know what to do. This doesn't seem like a medical problem with any of them, it seems like a social hierarchy/ territory problem. Most likely it was brought on by the changes - Eric moving in and mostly Buddy's passing.
Is there a solution besides keeping doors between them all the time? I love them all, but this house used to be peaceful. Now it's not... and I'm breaking up fights and cleaning up pee all the time.
sincerely,
Gina
p.s. We really don't want to give up Mia, but her behavior sure wouldn't be making her big brother proud
