wives, would it bother you if your husband..

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Yes it would. IMO party or no party, you don't need to be drinking so much that you get drunk. Especially at an office party with co-workers.

At least he was responsible enough to stay over and not drive, but I'd sure be pretty upset. NO excuse for it in my opinion. And if it was the last day of work and there was a party planned, why were YOU not invited too?

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It actually was not an office party. He throws darts here, it was a party his dart buddies planned for him.

I am absolutely furious at him now. We are moving in less than a week. I TOLD him I have things to do. One of them is go to the grocery store, we are trying to have as little perishable food as possible to move. Well we are doing a great job. I told him last night that I do not have anything to feed the kids for lunch today and I needed to go to the grocery store BEFORE that so I have something to feed them.
I am SOOOOO mad now. There is NO reason for him to not answer his cellphone.
I guess he has no reason to be upset with me for spending too much money if I order pizza for lunch.
Or if he walks into the lions den once he gets home.

I'm really not certain. I can't see myself getting involved with someone who drinks like that because I don't drink at all.

As long as he called or sent me a text I don't think I'd mind him staying out all night if I overlooked the drinking.

Although, it does seems a bit inconsiderate and irresponsible to behave like that.

If he didn't call I would be worried and angry and I'd probably let him have it when he got home.

Have you heard from him at all?

I would be more worried than mad, but furious when he did get home.

Actually, I can't see my husband ever doing anything like that, so if he didn't come home, I'd probably be calling police and hospitals.

I'd be upset! We have lots of taxicabs here. We could pick up the car later.

Getting drunk and staying out all night so he wouldn't have to drive home is forgiveable.

Not having the common courtesy or respect for your feelings to call and let you know that he was going to stay out is NOT! Oh, yeah, I'd be mad as heck!

We went through this a lot when we were first living together. He never wanted to "have to call and ask permission". It took many years, and many many arguments, for him to be convinced that it wasn't asking permission, it was just having a little respect for the other person's feelings. What finally did it was the night that I stayed out until the wee hours of the morning and didn't call him. He was nuts worrying about me, and got a taste of what it felt like. (Actually, I didn't even do anything...I just napped on a friend's couch to make my point...but he'll never know that. )

I had an ex who was like that. I would be worried & then it would turn into me being furious.

If he's that irresponsible & cannot even call you to let you know, thats really awful.

I'd definately let him know how upset I was when he got home!

I'm used to it. DH will go over to his friends and play Xbox night. Of course we got internet here at home yesterday so he can stay up all night and play at home.

An issue my wife and I deal w/ the most is my time spent w/ friends. We moved 3 1/2 years ago from Greensboro, NC. We go up there maybe 2-3 times a year. That, of course, is where my friends are and it is always an issue on how much time I can get w/ them b/c we are visiting her parents (DRAMA everytime!) and w/ two kids.... it's hard to get out.

Her issue has always been w/ fairness (having to stay w/ the kids while I go out) and..... of course.... my past history w/ drugs. My friends never come down here to see me but her friends do. When her friends come, I always try to get her to go out while I watch the kids so she can spend quality time w/ them. I don't think it's wrong of me to expect the same. But it's hard b/c she is somewhat possessive. When I go up there, I only go out past 8:30pm, after the kids are asleep. So I will get one night for about 4 hours w/ my friends and that might happen 3 times in a year.

I feel that it is EXTREMELY important that both husband and wife get their own personal time w/ their friends and as long as they are responsible w/ the PT, then I see nothing wrong w/ it. Without time to one's self... it can mentally drive some of us insane . By doing so, this will keep the relationship much stronger and as long as the trust is there, then an overnight stay is alright as long as they check in if that was part of the plan. So he was wrong for doing that. Also, w/ one car, like someone else posted... what if something happened??? That is not the best idea. He should have had a friend pick him up if there was any probability of him staying out overnight.

Sorry to get off topic a little but to sum it up....

Your husband staying out all night and spending time w/ his friends is fine as long as he doesn't do it all the time. Instead of saying I "might" not come home, I feel you two should discuss a schedule, perhaps, on "friend nights" and plan for him to be picked up. Whoever is watching the children should ALWAYS have the car if there is only one available. He is wrong for not calling and you should put him in the dog pin for 1-2 nights unless he has a convincing excuse for not calling... most likely not.

Him not calling is a NO NO!!! That is just something you do out of respect!

I am sorry your stuck at home...that really stinks!!!

Thankfully, Trav has not done this to me so far, but I know as soon as we return to Australia he will party with his mates as he hasnt seen them in so long.

My ex bf did the same thing and well i cant trust a person who does that

I finally found him after some serious sluething. He was sleeping, oblivous to what I have been going through, a simple phone call would have been all it took.

I think flowers are in order.

Originally Posted by mom2raven

I finally found him after some serious sluething. He was sleeping, oblivous to what I have been going through, a simple phone call would have been all it took.

I think flowers are in order.

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I think more than flowers are in order. Glad you found him though.

It would bother me too but I would rather him be sleeping over at a friend's place than driving home drunk.

Originally Posted by mom2raven

I finally found him after some serious sluething. He was sleeping, oblivous to what I have been going through, a simple phone call would have been all it took.

I think flowers are in order.

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This deserves him taking care of the kids for a day and you having a fun day out.

Originally Posted by katachtig

This deserves him taking care of the kids for a day and you having a fun day out.

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Seriously!!!!

It wouldn't bother me a bit if he called, but no contact, that is very bad

I'm not the jealous type, so no, it wouldn't bother me and that is based on past experience.

However, I would expect that he have the courtesy to call and let me know so that I don't stay up all night worrying if he was in a car accident and laying dead or dying on some road.

I would rather he stay over at a friend's house than risk his or the life of others by driving drunk.

The way I figure it is that if a guy is going to cheat he's going to cheat. If he does it's no reflection on me or anything that I did. Also I don't distrust until given reason to. However if a guy cheats on me once he doesn't have a second chance to do it again because I'm gone... and that is based on previous experience to.

Pffft too right it would bother me!. I wouldn't have an issue with him going out with his friends, but i would draw the line at staying out until the early hours or staying at his friends when he has a bed at home. He could have got a taxi home so theres no excuse, plus staying over at a friends house after a night out is something i did when i was 18/19.

I hope you give him an earful while he's completely hungover!!!! Not letting you know where he is, and having the car is SO wrong. I understand that by the time he realised he was too drunk to drive, he was probably too drunk to call you, but he definitely should have called before he got to that point.

Mine learned years ago not to do that without a call. We have an agreement, as long as he calls so I won't worry, I won't say a word, and if he wants, I will come and get him and any friends that need a way home. If they want to sleep on my couch, I will take them back to their vehicles the next morning. His friends thought he was just whipped until I got some of them home safely and with no fights the next morning. We have a couple of friends that I will go get even if they are not with him. He even calls me if he is going to be really late coming from work, which he often is. He can't leave in the middle of a tattoo, and it never fails a big, expensive one will come in to be done a short time before closing.
I agree with koodeez about the importance of time with your respective friends or alone. The longer we are together, the more important it becomes. I am afraid I still don't give him enough time, just out of habit, but am trying to get better about it. He is much easier to get along with when he has his alone time. He usually just sits at home playing his guitar, though.
It was really inconsiderate of him not to call or find another ride. Leaving someone stranded, especially with kids is a huge no no. I hope he has the mother of all hangovers.