Food Stamps

What does anyone know about food stamps???

I have a college professor that told me that he was on food stamps all through college and I shouldn't be ashamed to aply for food stamps. I got to thinking that I haven't been eating good and the only time I have a glass of milk is at work because it's free. It would really help to just get $20 a month to buy milk. (I hate the idea of buying milk because it's so expensive). What I'm worried about is that my SO makes a decent amount of money but we don't share our money/expenses. He pays for his share and his food and I pay for mine. Of course now and then we share food, but for the most part we don't share food like a regular couple would. (It's not that he doesn't want to either, it's that I feel like a looser mooching off him.)

Does anyone know if I will still be eligible for food stamps if my SO makes a decent amount of money (probably 1,300 a month)? It's just not fair to put him down on my application because he doesn't pay for me!



EDIT when I say SO I don't mean husband. He's my boyfriend and the only thing we have our names together on legally is our lease. (We've been together a little over two years now)

Originally Posted by EnzoLeya

my SO makes a decent amount of money but we don't share our money/expenses. He pays for his share and his food and I pay for mine. Of course now and then we share food, but for the most part we don't share food like a regular couple would. (It's not that he doesn't want to either, it's that I feel like a looser mooching off him.)

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You really need to get over that need for total independence chip on your shoulder.

Being in a relationship is a 50-50 partnership. What's yours is his and what's his is yours. He is your "SO" so it's obviously a live in committed (married?) relationship.

The fact that you split expenses like roommates is silly.

You are his wife and he is your husband. Start acting like a married couple instead of roommates.

If he has the larger income, then of course he will pay more of the expenses than you. That's just how marriages are.

The fact that you are in a relationship and can't afford to buy food and looking into food stamps, while your husband has money for groceries is just wrong.

You really need to step back and reconsider your priorities here. Sharing income with your husband is not mooching. It's being a partner in a relationship.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

You really need to get over that need for total independence chip on your shoulder.

Being in a relationship is a 50-50 partnership. What's yours is his and what's his is yours. He is your "SO" so it's obviously a live in committed (married?) relationship.

The fact that you split expenses like roommates is silly.

You are his wife and he is your husband. Start acting like a married couple instead of roommates.

If he has the larger income, then of course he will pay more of the expenses than you. That's just how marriages are.

The fact that you are in a relationship and can't afford to buy food and looking into food stamps, while your husband has money for groceries is just wrong.

You really need to step back and reconsider your priorities here. Sharing income with your husband is not mooching. It's being a partner in a relationship.

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Actually when I say SO I mean just that. We aren't married. We've been dating for 2 years. I don't want to 'take' his money because he has no financial responsibility to me. I'm not a person to take money from anyone. I would much rather take advantage of something that is available to me than to ask people for money. I'm the type of girl that you take to a movie and I pay my half because I can't stand someone else paying for me.

I definitely have to agree with Natalie. It's a teamwork, not 'do your part and I'll do mine' thing. The only time that works is if you're planning on a separation.

Originally Posted by StacyD1987

I definitely have to agree with Natalie. It's a teamwork, not 'do your part and I'll do mine' thing. The only time that works is if you're planning on a separation.

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Are you saying my boyfriend should pay for me? Or if he was my husband he should. I would agree if he was my husband, but I don't think boyfriends should have take responsibility for their girlfriends. I don't want to be "that girlfriend."

I think they count the entire household, but I don't remember. Go and apply. Don't falsify information though, just tell them the situation, they will either count him or not.

Originally Posted by EnzoLeya

Actually when I say SO I mean just that. We aren't married. We've been dating for 2 years.

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But you live together as a "married" couple.

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but in Canada and most of the US States including the one you live in, and in fact many countries, but living together in a commonlaw relationship makes you "legally" married after 6 months. While you don't have to go to court and get a divorce to end the relationship in order to marry someone else, that commonlaw status does entitle each party to 1/2 of the other's assets... money, inheritance, lottery winnings, investments, any assets at all including pensions! Plus you are each responsible for 1/2 of each other's debts. And in Canada (not sure about the US), the commonlaw spouse can be added onto work benefit plans. In addition to that, as a commonlaw relationship both incomes need to be reported on each others' income taxes, just like if you were married with a piece of paper binding you 2 together.

So in the eyes of the law you are married because you are living together. He is more than your SO, he is actually your husband.

So why not live together as that instead of as "roommates with benefits"?

if your living together, then it a joint thing.
Its his job. If you made more moeny then its yours. Just the way it works

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

But you live together as a "married" couple.

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but in Canada and most of the US States including the one you live in, and in fact many countries, but living together in a commonlaw relationship makes you "legally" married after 6 months. While you don't have to go to court and get a divorce to end the relationship in order to marry someone else, that commonlaw status does entitle each party to 1/2 of the other's assets... money, inheritance, lottery winnings, investments, any assets at all including pensions! Plus you are each responsible for 1/2 of each other's debts. And in Canada (not sure about the US), the commonlaw spouse can be added onto work benefit plans. In addition to that, as a commonlaw relationship both incomes need to be reported on each others' income taxes, just like if you were married with a piece of paper binding you 2 together.

So in the eyes of the law you are married because you are living together. He is more than your SO, he is actually your husband.

So why not live together as that instead of as "roommates with benefits"?

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That's actually untrue.

http://www.unmarried.org/common.html

They woud have to declare it, and in order for debts to be inherited, they would have to consolidate any loans they have. Otherwise, say one died or something equally horrible, the loans would be forgiven. For example.

These two haven't declared their marriage, so they're simply cohabitating.

Although, it would be nice of the bf to chip in and a lot more healthy for the OP to ask for help. Government assistance has a TON of red tape, and it generally WAY more trouble than it's worth. And it's intended as a last resort.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but in Canada and most of the US States including the one you live in, and in fact many countries, but living together in a commonlaw relationship makes you "legally" married after 6 months.

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I am not sure about Canada, but this is absolutely untrue for the US. Common-law marriage is defined as 1) both parties eligible for marriage, 2) Acknowledging and announcing to the community that you are married, and presenting yourself as married.

She is not commonly married to her boyfriend because she calls him her boyfriend, and they might be married to other people.

Glad I saw your misinformation, so she doesn't think she is married just because she is living with her boyfriend.

Originally Posted by EnzoLeya

Actually when I say SO I mean just that. We aren't married. We've been dating for 2 years. I don't want to 'take' his money because he has no financial responsibility to me. I'm not a person to take money from anyone. I would much rather take advantage of something that is available to me than to ask people for money. I'm the type of girl that you take to a movie and I pay my half because I can't stand someone else paying for me.

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Hmmmm...even though you aren't married, you are still 'committed' to each other by living with each other. Why don't you two just sit down together and put together a budget that works for both of you? So you don't feel like you aren't paying for everything, and so he doesn't feel like he can't take care of you...I'm sorry, but if I can speak for your SO, he's GOT to feel like that at times...part of being committed to one another, married or in a long term relationship is taking care of one another; it's not just about living together. If you both don't get that NOW, you won't get it when you are married, and that is going to be a huge tension in your marriage.

In some form, by living together as a couple, you have a responsibility to each other. The extent of that responsibility is not as clearly defined as with a marriage... for some people it is like being married, for others it is not.

My boyfriend and I live together also. We are not married, and do not have any plans to marry in the near future. We have been together for nearly 2 years, but have been living together for just 5 months.

Our rent is split 61% him, 49% me (a $15 difference). Our utilities are split right down the middle. Just for reference, I make about 1/3 of what he makes, but he has debts from college, and I made it through college without any debts. I'm currently in grad school, so I'm not making what I have the potential to make once I've finished my education... which is part of the reason I'm not interested in splitting expenses differently. In the future, I might be the one making more. (As long as we live within our individual means, we should each have money for individual indulgences.)
On the other hand, (if)once we're married, we have to put each others well-being first... before we spend money as individual. If we have children, if one of us becomes ill, etc... we have a commitment to take care of one another as long as need be. Living together without being married is kind of a grey area, in my opinion. If one of us were unable to work, I would take care of him and he would take care of me... but would it be indefinite or until the end of our lease?

In our home, food and household items that we both would like to use are shared. This includes milk, dinner foods (we try to eat dinner together every night) toilet paper, shampoo, etc. Sometimes we split things in half, sometimes not exactly. It depends on whether or not the items we get are essential and/or affordable for each of us. We are a couple, and we want to help each other out. This doesn't mean that we try to take advantage of one another. It just makes more sense to share things, sometimes!

That said, there are some food items that we purchase individually. For example, I love ice cream and chocolate and the SO doesn't. He likes instant rice and tuna kits for lunch, and I don't. So we buy these items individually.

This arrangement works well since we don't know if/when we will marry. We still get to share as well as retain financial independence... to an extent.

In regard to the food stamps, just explain your situation and be honest. It's worth a try. If they accept, then your problem is solved. However, if your application is not accepted, then I think that you should work on feeling comfortable with eating food that your SO bought. You care about each other. Food is essential. If he makes more money, and cares about your health, then there's nothing wrong with it. You're not depriving him of anything, or mooching. (It's not as if you're buying designer purses with his paycheck!) If you really have a problem with eating food that he paid for, then maybe you can share the expense of some common items?

Originally Posted by gailuvscats

I am not sure about Canada, but this is absolutely untrue for the US. Common-law marriage is defined as 1) both parties eligible for marriage, 2) Acknowledging and announcing to the community that you are married, and presenting yourself as married.

She is not commonly married to her boyfriend because she calls him her boyfriend, and they might be married to other people.

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Even so, common law marriages aren't recognized in some states. However, if a common law marriage is recognized by a state, then it is recognized in all states.

For example, my SO and I live in California, so we can not be declared married by common law. If we lived in Colorado and were married by common law, then our marriage would be recognized in all states, including California.

I've checked!

Does the SO know that you're considering food stamps because you can't always afford enough food for yourself?
Surely he would have a big problem with this, no one can claim to care about someone and watch them go hungry while they have plenty.
Sounds like the relationship needs to be discussed a bit - with each other instead of people on a forum.

hmm, I have to say I am very lucky that my SO just gives me his bank card and tells me to get what ever i want. i always tell him when im about to buy something just so he knows.
We have split the costs up here and there, but in theory we just put our money together and work from there.

Eg. I bought the flight tickets home, but he has to pay the months rent and ect.

20$ isnt much and eating food or cooking for each other is not mooching at all.

i think you also need to sit down with him and talk to him

He does know what I am doing. It's the fact that he doesn't have enough money to support both of us. He pays all the utility bills and is paying for his car a long with other loans. To be honest he doesn't even have a full time job so at any minute his empolyer could say he has enough workers and let my boyfriend go. I'm just so tired of feeling like I can't do anything for myself. I get food from my family, but I would really like to be able to buy milk and bread as I need it.

I didn't want to start a whole debate about what my boyfriend should be doing for me. He does enough as is and I hate using his money. If we were married it would be a totally different story. We aren't commonly married either, no kids, no legal ties, like I said before. It would be like you asking your best friend to pay all your bills and buy your food. Your friend would get really tired of that after awhile.

I remember when I was in college my sister and her roommates would go the the government free cheese program. I guess I never thought of doing that-I was a nutrition major so had cooking classes which helped out.
It should like perhaps both of you would qualify for food stamps. I would investigate it.
It doesn't make sense in this country for people not to eat the foods they should.

BTW have you thought about powdered milk?? Frozen bread dough can be inexpensive as "day old" bread from bakeries.

Originally Posted by EnzoLeya

He does know what I am doing. It's the fact that he doesn't have enough money to support both of us. He pays all the utility bills and is paying for his car a long with other loans. To be honest he doesn't even have a full time job so at any minute his empolyer could say he has enough workers and let my boyfriend go. I'm just so tired of feeling like I can't do anything for myself. I get food from my family, but I would really like to be able to buy milk and bread as I need it.

I didn't want to start a whole debate about what my boyfriend should be doing for me. He does enough as is and I hate using his money. If we were married it would be a totally different story. We aren't commonly married either, no kids, no legal ties, like I said before. It would be like you asking your best friend to pay all your bills and buy your food. Your friend would get really tired of that after awhile.

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I understand both sides of this argument, but I have to say that if he's made the commitment to live with you, he shouldn't "get tired" of helping support you. If he does, then he's not worth it anyway. It sounds like he needs to get a full time job. If you're in school, you might need to get a part time job to buy things. I believe in the government helping out people that really and truely need it, but I don't think it's right for people who can do more, and just don't want to, to take taxpayer money. Things might be tough for a while, and "not fun", but that's life. I've had to stuggle in my life, but I always knew that I didn't want to rely on the government to feed me. I went years eating Ramen Noodles and hotdogs, offbrand sodas, etc, and it wasn't fun, but I made it work. I've taken jobs I didn't want to work just so I can pay the bills. I didn't keep the job I liked and then go ask the government for help.

Sorry if this comes off mean... I have run into too many people at the grocery store paying with food stamps then going outside and getting into their Caddy's. I know that isn't you. Like I said, I've struggled a lot and I don't like to see people give in when there is more to be done. I hope you find a solution to all of this. Good luck.

Originally Posted by GailC

I remember when I was in college my sister and her roommates would go the the government free cheese program. I guess I never thought of doing that-I was a nutrition major so had cooking classes which helped out.
It should like perhaps both of you would qualify for food stamps. I would investigate it.
It doesn't make sense in this country for people not to eat the foods they should.

BTW have you thought about powdered milk?? Frozen bread dough can be inexpensive as "day old" bread from bakeries.

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Thanks for the information! Anything is really helpful. I know there are a lot of people out there abusing government aids like this, so why can't a person who is working and going to school use an aid like this. Right now I am paying for food with my student loan (which is running out) and I'm paying 14.9% interest on the food I'm buying. Anything would help.

I haven't read this entire thread, and without commenting on your situation with your SO, this is what I have learned about food stamps, at least in PA, where my sister lives. If you buy and prepare your meals together, you're consided a "family" for the purposes of eligibility. If you buy and prepare your meals separately, then you as an individual are the only one considered. It may be different in other states. The only way you will know for sure is to apply. Good luck!