Four months with my cat

crabdiver

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I have spent four months now with my new cat. He was a five months stray when my friend found him.

I have a hard time understanding all the hype around them. People treat them as if they were human, a companion, even a "child."

They are conceited, boorish, and manipulative creatures. I don't find them friendly, except when it has to do with being served their food.

They will drive you crazy, and attempt to manipulate you by various means, and when that fails, by other means. Yet we must not "hurt their feelings" when they act in a contemptible manner. If they meow incessantly, we must "give them attention."

Example: my cat meowed INCESSANTLY because I chose to close the windows and turn my AC on. He was out to get it his way and get me to open the windows again so that he could smell the outdoors. I used the spray against him several times, but after a short pause, he simply comes back and starts whining, and whining again. For hours... When I searched ways to stop such behavior, all I read is that we must "play with the cat," we must give the cat "more attention."

We never would do this with a child! We would never reward such behavior!

Who controls who here? How can we be so subservient to such a creature?

I am not anti-cat, but when a cat attempts to drive you crazy to get what he wants, I have a hard time understanding how such behavior can be considered a normal cat way of life, and we humans must simply smile (oh he is just being a cat) and give the cat "more attention." Cats may be cats, but we cannot tolerate for them to think they are in charge. And up to now, after four months with him, he still thinks he is the one in control.

I just want to know: how can any one in their sane mind TOLERATE such behavior?
 

white cat lover

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First of all, is your kitty neutered?

If you just ignore him, eventually it stops. My cats are friendly, some like to sit in laps, one bites me if I touch her. To each his own....each kitty has it's own purr-sonality.

If you do not like your kitty, why not try to find him a new home? He knows you dislike him, cats aren't dumb.
 

goldenkitty45

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Obviously you are not really a cat lover
But if your cat is not spayed/neutered, that could be the reason he's meowing a lot, wanting out, etc.

IMO its wrong to spray them to keep them quiet. Some cats are more likely to be talkers then others.

I do agree, that if you are not happy with your cat and its not what you want to deal with for the next 15-20 yrs, then please find your kitty a new home where he will be loved for who he is. Maybe a cat is just not the right choice for a pet for you and that's ok
 
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crabdiver

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He is neutered. He just drives me insane! I cannot stand the incessant whining anymore! I feed him twice a day, and in between meals, if I eat something, he will start whining at me because he wants some food. I open the fridge to get a snack: whining !!!

When I come home to prepare the food (a mixture of canned + raw) he will not stop meowing as I prepare it, on, and on.

I live in a studio, and there is really no way for me to get him out. I have resorted to putting him in the bathroom and shutting the door because of the meowing.
 

kelicat

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I had assumed I was in my right mind... but I guess maybe I'm not...I have 6 cats of my own, and various rescues that come and go. At this moment I have two rescues in addition to my 6. So I share my house with a lot of bossy felines


My cats do rule the house within reason. They have learned somethings are just not acceptable. Countersurfing for one, if I am in the room that is... if I leave the room, apparently my human/feline contract has a clause that the food if up for grabs then...

Right now as I type, I had to take a break b/c my foster, Penny, jumped up and layed on the keyboard meowing at me, demanding my attention. I guess it is just me... but I love every second of it. I love catering to them.. even though some mornings I (jokingly) feel like throwing a few of them out the window as they meow and Kailey tugs on my hair to wake me up to go and feed them, I still love every second of it. And I feel privilaged to share my home with them.

When I go from room to room, I nearly always have a few four legged companions following me. It is not always food related. Penny has graduated from the keyboard to my lap right now, and she isn't after any food, just a wam lap and lovin.

When any of my furry kids (yes they are my kids) come and cuddle on my lap, or purr and twill to me when I've come home after having a bad day, everything I've ever done for them, just got paid back 10 times over.

If you feel this way about your cat, you should really find him a new home. Your dear creature can pick up on how you feel about him, and deserves someone who can really appreciate and enjoy him, and not lock him in a bathroom for being a cat.

Honestly, he is being a cat, and the advice you are getting is appropriate. And if you just can't stand him that much, you just aren't a cat person. Not everyone is. Just like not everyone is a dog person, or a reptile person, etc...
 
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crabdiver

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I've liked having him, but just noticed that their are some behaviours I just cannot tolerate, and lately I have been feeling frustrated.

As to giving him away, that would be kind of hard for me. I am not sure I could find a home for a 10 month old cat, and I would feel guilty bringing him to a pound.
 

lmunsie

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if you want a pet you can be in control of a cat isn't a good pet, since they are not pack animals they don't need control or to be in control. Since he is still young he probably just has a lot of energy and wants attention. I take pleasure in the fact that my cats get whatever they want whenever they want. I feel like this is how a cats life should be.

Maybe you can try leaving your cat some dry food out during the day so he can munch on it when he is hungry so he doesn't bother you (and feed him the wet at regular intervals). Any behaviour you don't like should just be ignored and have some treats to give him just when he is relaxing and being quiet.
 

siggav

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This is a really good article to read, it touches on some differences between cats and dogs (which are also partly some of the social differences between humans and cats since humans and dogs share quite a lot more socially than cats do really)

http://www.messybeast.com/cat-dog.htm

Basically a very important thing to really understand about cats is that they aren't pack animals. The whole hierarchy and who's the boss and all that is something they get to an extent but it's not nearly as fixed or as hardwired as in dogs. So ways that work to discipline dogs and humans just won't really work on cats. It can be quite hard getting your head around that properly since it feels natural to us as humans to react in certain ways (for example knowing that the boss is angry at you for doing something specific and then being happy when the boss is pleased with you.)

It's definately possible to teach cats to behave but ignoring them and redirecting to something else is usually the most effective way to go about it and it can take a lot of repetitions before they give up.
 

goldenkitty45

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10 month old cat is still a young cat - so you should have no problem rehoming him. If you cannot picture yourself with this cat or any other cat for the next 15-20 yrs, then don't have one. Plain and simple in my book.

While you might have liked him for awhile, its really unfair to continue having him in your house when you don't like his personality, etc.

Some cats are more talkers then others. You have a talkative one - stop trying to punish him for what comes natural.
 

brokenheart

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Originally Posted by CrabDiver

I just want to know: how can any one in their sane mind TOLERATE such behavior?
Because sane people don't expect cats to behave like humans (And of course we humans are all non-manipulative, perfectly mannered angels
)

Seriously, though, I think that's it. A cat is a cat and he's going to act like a cat. (Keeping in mind that they're all individuals, of course.)

Very Henry Higgins/Liza Doolittle, you and your cat


Also - and this is important - at ten months HE IS STILL A BABY. You don't expect a two year old human to behave like a thirty-five year old. He'll get calmer with the years, if he's treated lovingly.

But if you really can't tolerate him being a cat, which is what he will always be, then you should give him to someone who'll enjoy and love him (not just dump him at a shelter). Otherwise learn to let him be what he is.

By the way, have you tried compromise? Open the window in another room for him and shut the door till he wants to come out while you run the air conditioner for you in another. Human spouses and roommates (and office-mates) have these issues, too. It's part of living with another creature.
 
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crabdiver

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Originally Posted by Brokenheart

Because sane people don't expect cats to believe like humans (And of course we humans are all non-manipulative, perfectly mannered angels
)

Seriously, though, I think that's it. A cat is a cat and he's going to act like a cat. (Keeping in mind that they're all individuals, of course.) You either enjoy having them around, or you don't. And it sounds like you -- begrudgingly maybe -- do.

Very Henry Higgins/Liza Doolittle, you and your cat
So if they don't react to peer-pressure and don't try to please humans by adapting their behavior to us, they should completely understand us not adapting our behavior to them, no?

Therefore people who act in a way as to give in to all the cats' demands would seem very un-catlike to them (since they are reacting to peer-pressure), and worthy of their manipulative contempt or at least would probably appear, in their cat mind, to be quite insane.

Again, sanity demands an answer: why the cat?
 

goldenkitty45

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Why are you so insistant on analyzing a cat's behavior? Either you accept it or you don't - you sound like you want to make the cat logical - its NOT human. If you don't want to accept that or understand the cat is doing what a cat is supposed to do (NOT what we want them to do), then you don't need to be owning one.

Its clear to me you don't want the cat to be a cat, you want it to be something its not. So find him another home as soon as possible.
 

white cat lover

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Cats do what cats want.

I've given up trying to understand them.

I love them as they are....and appreciate them for being them.
 

brokenheart

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Originally Posted by CrabDiver

So if they don't react to peer-pressure and don't try to please humans by adapting their behavior to us, they should completely understand us not adapting our behavior to them, no?

Therefore people who act in a way as to give in to all the cats' demands would seem very un-catlike to them (since they are reacting to peer-pressure), and worthy of their manipulative contempt or at least would probably appear, in their cat mind, to be quite insane.

Again, sanity demands an answer: why the cat? (ancient Egypt and cat worship somehow come to mind)
Ah. Because, grasshopper,
they ARE loving (and each cat shows it in their own way) and funny and sweet and comforting. Otherwise people wouldn't have them.

And cats (remember, yours is still a baby; kitten batteries never run down) are much less demanding than we humans. What do they want? A safe place, some food and water, some fun and some love. That's really not that hard, is it? When they're grown they sleep about 17 hours a day!!!! So there are 7 hours you maybe have to bend a little, and bending is good for you.
 

abbycats

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Poor little guy was a stray kitten when you got him, now he has a home and somebody to love. It makes me sad for this kitten that you don't like him. If you take him to a shelter that euthenizes, your kitty will be put to sleep. What a sad ending for the little guy when all he wanted was somebody to love and care for him. Your kitty deserves a good home with somebody who will cherish and love him. If you decide to give your cat away please make sure he is going to a good home. He had a rough start in life already. The little guy deserves a happy life
 

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As others have said cats are unique and cats will do what they want. We have to just accept them as they are.

I think your cat sounds bored, lonely and in need of alot of affection and some entertainment. Do you have any toys for your cat to play with? Cats were meant to be outdoors and most of us keep them indoors. It is a cat thing to want to sniff the fresh air. It is as natural to them as many of our human wants and needs are to us.

A 10 month old kitty is not very old - still a baby really. You can probably find a good home for your cat if you want.
 

cattiew

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well...cats will get what they want either from you or by himself!! think about it, what he asked for was food and space. he will be able to get it inside or outside of your flat! you think so because you "trap" him in your flat and you are the only creature exist in that area. please don't think how much you provide for him and he should not get whatever he want!! we think our flat is better for him, but it's not always the case. if you let him go on the street, they may even prefer to go back to street where they can have what they want. you can't hate a cat maoweing just like you can't hate people because they talks!! if you don't like your job, you can quit and now the poor thing is "trapped"!! seriously they are smart little angel and i promise they will be a good friend if you just don't use your "human" view to prejudge a cat! you can't provide what he want is pretty much your fault not his!! it's just like you give your baby only food but not right to cry or walk or asking what he want!!! he is only asking what he want, and did he bite you or hurt you when he not get it ? NO !!! he is being good, please don't hate him just because he is a cat not a human. or please find him a home where there is some love in this poor thing's life. he need love as much as we do. if you really don't like it, he will be much better off in the non kill shelter etc. he is not having bad behaviour, just have got enough love in his live !!!
 

missymotus

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Originally Posted by JeanW

Do you have any toys for your cat to play with?
That's what I was wondering. The poor kitty sounds bored. Indoor cats need toys they can play with alone as well as interactive toys like feather wands, also a cat tree to climb/scratch etc.
 

larke

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He's desperate for some activity at his age, and can't just sit like a decoration til you get around to interacting. Plus, if he feels needy about something (rightly or wrongly) consider that he has to be vocal to let you know - what else can he do, write a letter? You must find either another home for him, or else commit to being more proactive with him by finding toys he can play with (cats make Wayne Gretsky look like an amateur when it comes to playing with 1" balls), slowly jiggle an end-knotted 4' cord under a sheet of newsprint or a cloth for him to pounce on, get him a tall cat tree to run up and down on (cats need heights), etc. But always remember that they just don't get cause and effect when it comes to behaviour - when you 'punish' them for something, even if they've just done it, all they're aware of is hating the punishment and don't connect it to what (to a cat) is perfectly appropriate behaviour. What they will do though is eventually catch on to whatever it is that provokes you to be mean, and when they're hungry, or want something else, deliberately go and initiate the 'bad' behaviour to get your attention... which again is just being 'cat', not nasty otherwise - they need to communicate, but only have so many ways to do it after all. If you don't appreciate their own weird brand of intelligence, then find a new home for him and get a dog (but of course you'll have to walk him 2-3 times a day).
 
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