Four months with my cat

rosiemac · Feb 18, 2008

Originally Posted by white cat lover

If you do not like your kitty, why not try to find him a new home? He knows you dislike him, cats aren't dumb.

Agree!

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

While you might have liked him for awhile, its really unfair to continue having him in your house when you don't like his personality, etc.

stop trying to punish him for what comes natural.

Agree!

Originally Posted by CrabDiver

So if they don't react to peer-pressure and don't try to please humans by adapting their behavior to us, they should completely understand us not adapting our behavior to them, no?

If you knew cats like we do, you would know that a cat owns us, we don't own them. You can't make a cat do something it doesn't want to do.

I have a young cat the same age as yours and he loves to run around with my others. Yours needs this as well and i really don't think a cat is the sort of pet for you, so i would be doing him a favour and handing him over to a "NO KILL" shelter where someone who knows cats will give him the attention and the love that he needs, instead of being shut up in a room and being sprayed with water when he will never understand why?!

crabdiver · Feb 18, 2008

Thanks for all your messages.

He HAS lots of toys.

I DO try to play and spend time with him each day.

I even try to feed him right and made an effort to get him off dry kibble and feed him something more appropriate.

He just has a meowing problem, and living in a studio this makes it worse. If he can try to "train" me (or manipulate me) in getting what he wants, then by what moral justification do you preclude me of doing the same to him?

This is not about "analyzing" anything, not about "cat worship," but about common sense.

Cats are animals and spent eons in the wild. I am sure they understand a little Darwinian realpolitik and won't be "offended" (another human trait) by our human way of doing things.

But anyhow I will think about what I am going to do with him.

Thanks.

rosiemac · Feb 18, 2008

Originally Posted by CrabDiver

He just has a meowing problem, and living in a studio this makes it worse. If he can try to "train" me (or manipulate me) in getting what he wants

He's not trying to train or manilpulate you at all?. Like weve explained he's just doing what cats do.

I have a talkative cat and she's been like that for the last 5 years, but that's how she is and i can't, nor wouldn't even if i could try and change her because that's her personality.

Like humans you can't change a person, and the same goes for cats

cattiew · Feb 18, 2008

this is just my experience, the cat actually will listen to you more if you get "mad"at him less. like my boy, he used to ignore me when i call him with a worrying voice. however now they know that i will never told him off and if i call him like that, it's got to be something dangerous he got off the surface before i need to call him second time

they know that i really love them and will compromise when i am too busy at work and have no time coming home to give them canned food and clean their litter box in lunch time

seriously, my girl talks a lot as well, and it's so cute when she is meowing

kelicat · Feb 18, 2008

Originally Posted by CrabDiver

If he can try to "train" me (or manipulate me) in getting what he wants, then by what moral justification do you preclude me of doing the same to him?

This is not about "analyzing" anything, not about "cat worship," but about common sense.

Yes, this is analyzing b/c you keep going at it. He is a cat, plain and simple, not a human. There is no moral justification for locking him the bathroom b/c he is acting like a cat by meowing. He is not going to stop one day and realize Darwinian rules....

I have one VERY vocal cat. She yells at me in the morning, talks to me all day long, then yells at me again to feed her at night. She complains loudly if she wants in the lap occupied by another cat, she complains loudly if the dog is in the room she wants to be in, so on and so forth.

He is still a young boy, please find a rescue to take him, what you are describing is no kind of life for a kitty, where his owner clearly doesn't like him and his activities. I"m not beating you up for feeling how you do about him, just please let him move on so he can have a life with someone that DOES love all this cat traits. You can search Petfinder for no-kill shelters near you, or more ideally a rescue.

brokenheart · Feb 18, 2008

Originally Posted by CrabDiver

Cats are animals and spent eons in the wild. I am sure they understand a little Darwinian realpolitik and won't be "offended" (another human trait) by our human way of doing things.

But anyhow I will think about what I am going to do with him.

Thanks.

Domestic cats did not spend eons in the wild. They, like dogs, were bred down to be companions to humans. We, as the humans who bred them down, have certain responsibilities. We, as the humans who take them in, have definite responsibilities.

If you're going to go all Darwin, answer this: Did you get him so you could have some kind of perverse Darwinian battle with him? And since he is part of your pack, and is a baby, Darwinian behavior would dictate that you nurture and protect him.

There is as much cooperation in nature as there is aggression.

If you can't love him, really, he's better off somewhere else. The little guy needs a HOME. Sounds like right now he's no more than a behavioral science experiment to you.

cattiew · Feb 18, 2008

their are plenty of people who will to love them just the way they are. it's ok if you do not. Please let that poor thing have a chance to find the love it deserve

rogueruby · Feb 20, 2008

Hi
I don't think anyone has mentioned this yet, but not all cats are made the same and it seems you have picked a cat that is incompatible with your lifestyle and needs.
I suggest you find a new home for your kitten and go on a search for an adult cat whose personality you enjoy. There are many benefits of picking an adult cat from a shelter. First, you may be saving a life. Secondly, the personality of the cat is already set, so you know what you are getting. You would probably do best with an older cat who enjoys sleeping most of the day and likes occasional cuddles. The people at the shelter, if it is good one, can tell you more about the cats behavior--if it is more loud or quiet and how much activity it needs.
I have one cat that is almost maintanance free. He just does his own thing. But my younger cat bounces off the walls if I don't play with him.
I wouldn't expect anyone to be able to be best friends with every human who walks though their door and neither should you expect you will get along with every cat.

Good Luck!

brokenheart · Feb 20, 2008

Originally Posted by RogueRuby

Hi
I don't think anyone has mentioned this yet, but not all cats are made the same and it seems you have picked a cat that is incompatible with your lifestyle and needs.
I suggest you find a new home for your kitten and go on a search for an adult cat whose personality you enjoy. There are many benefits of picking an adult cat from a shelter. First, you may be saving a life. Secondly, the personality of the cat is already set, so you know what you are getting. You would probably do best with an older cat who enjoys sleeping most of the day and likes occasional cuddles. The people at the shelter, if it is good one, can tell you more about the cats behavior--if it is more loud or quiet and how much activity it needs.
I have one cat that is almost maintanance free. He just does his own thing. But my younger cat bounces off the walls if I don't play with him.
I wouldn't expect anyone to be able to be best friends with every human who walks though their door and neither should you expect you will get along with every cat.

Good Luck!

Awesome points!

enuja · Feb 20, 2008

How about training the cat? There are lots of books out there on training cats, and it will give you and the cat something to do together that is advantageous for you (because you'll be making ways to control the cat's behavior in the future).

I really don't think that cats pass judgements like "sane" or "insane" on anything at all, including you. They do what they want. Period. They don't think about what you want, so they don't do what you want or judge you for making sacrifices or anything like that. They just do what they want.

However, they can be trained. You give something they like for a particular behavior, and they can learn to do this new thing that is advantageous for them.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure that cats can be trained to be quiet. I quite strongly suspect that your cat can be trained to play with you during particular times of day or after particular signals. If you are able to train the cat in a way that gives the cat the attention it wants, it might stop meowing because it no longer has an unmet need, but I do think that some cats are simply more vocal than others.

In other words, is it the sound of the meow (not trainable) or the I-need-attention behavior (trainable, if you give the cat attention during daily training sessions) that is bothering you? If its the simple fact that cats meow, a new home is probably what this young cat needs.

chloekitty98 · Feb 21, 2008

I'm sorry but this post made me LOL. You really have to have a sense of humor about it. My cat, who lives with my parents, is about the sassiest/grouchiest kitty there is. She does have her sweet moments, but she defintely thinks she is the queen of the universe and everything else is below her. I personally think it's kind of funny. Maybe you're just not a cat person?

faith's_mom · Feb 21, 2008

Originally Posted by CrabDiver

I have spent four months now with my new cat. He was a five months stray when my friend found him.

I have a hard time understanding all the hype around them. People treat them as if they were human, a companion, even a "child."

They are conceited, boorish, and manipulative creatures. I don't find them friendly, except when it has to do with being served their food.

They will drive you crazy, and attempt to manipulate you by various means, and when that fails, by other means. Yet we must not "hurt their feelings" when they act in a contemptible manner. If they meow incessantly, we must "give them attention."

Example: my cat meowed INCESSANTLY because I chose to close the windows and turn my AC on. He was out to get it his way and get me to open the windows again so that he could smell the outdoors. I used the spray against him several times, but after a short pause, he simply comes back and starts whining, and whining again. For hours... When I searched ways to stop such behavior, all I read is that we must "play with the cat," we must give the cat "more attention."

We never would do this with a child! We would never reward such behavior!

Who controls who here? How can we be so subservient to such a creature?

I am not anti-cat, but when a cat attempts to drive you crazy to get what he wants, I have a hard time understanding how such behavior can be considered a normal cat way of life, and we humans must simply smile (oh he is just being a cat) and give the cat "more attention." Cats may be cats, but we cannot tolerate for them to think they are in charge. And up to now, after four months with him, he still thinks he is the one in control.

I just want to know: how can any one in their sane mind TOLERATE such behavior?

Sounds like you need a DOG instead of a cat...seriously...if you can't handle that cats are independent, and sometimes at best, 'snobbish' creatures who are not so easily trained as a dog who 'bows at your whim' then get an animal who is suited to your leader lifestyle. Cats don't live in packs like dogs, so they don't 'know' what being a leader, or lesser means...they are independent creatures, who, although enjoy other cat company, they are certainly not dominance structured like a dog.

I control my dogs; because they will assume an alpha status if I don't. With cats, yes, you can train them to an extent, but they will never see you as the 'alpha' in your home, and 'bow' to your every command like a dog can be trained to do.

Want control over 'everything' your pet does? Then get a dog, because they thrive off of human interaction, and have a desire to be trained. Most cats, even the most friendly ones, could care less about having individual training time to 'fetch', 'sit' or 'rollover'...its just not their nature, and it takes a very special person with TONS of patience to train a cat to do such tricks.

Oh, and if you want an obsessive behavior to go away, the best way to do it, is to ignore it; and praise the animal when he is doing the correct thing...this is key especially with cats. You want your cat to stop meowing in the window, then don't spray him for it...you are giving him attention for meowing, just walk away, and let him figure it out that no matter how much whining he does, you are NOT going to budge and open that window...When he gets off the windowsill, then toss a treat in his direction, to acknowledge that this is the correct behavior.

faith's_mom · Feb 21, 2008

Originally Posted by CrabDiver

He is neutered. He just drives me insane! I cannot stand the incessant whining anymore! I feed him twice a day, and in between meals, if I eat something, he will start whining at me because he wants some food. I open the fridge to get a snack: whining !!!

When I come home to prepare the food (a mixture of canned + raw) he will not stop meowing as I prepare it, on, and on.

I live in a studio, and there is really no way for me to get him out. I have resorted to putting him in the bathroom and shutting the door because of the meowing.

If he is yowling all the time in between meals, then perhaps setting down a high quality dry diet that he can browse on as he chooses, may help; he might just actually BE hungry...I have never simply fed my cats once or twice a day...I always leave food free choice; they are less likely to develop a whiney, begging behavior that way, and are also less likely to develop 'counter or garbage surfing' behaviors. In my experience, cats just do better when on a free choice feeding regimine. It would be worth a try...

You could always take him to PetCo or PetSmart, just to 'get him out and about' as well...

Maybe getting him a companion may help too...perhaps he is just lonely for more interaction than he's getting; but then, you would probably be unhappy with two cats then.

cococat · Feb 22, 2008

Originally Posted by CrabDiver

He is neutered. He just drives me insane! I cannot stand the incessant whining anymore! I feed him twice a day, and in between meals, if I eat something, he will start whining at me because he wants some food. I open the fridge to get a snack: whining !!!

When I come home to prepare the food (a mixture of canned + raw) he will not stop meowing as I prepare it, on, and on.

I live in a studio, and there is really no way for me to get him out. I have resorted to putting him in the bathroom and shutting the door because of the meowing.

Glad you are here!

Welcome to owning a cat

You must care for your cat or you wouldn't have came here looking for answers.

Sounds like you have a talker. My cat is a talker too, I have a houseful of various sizes of dogs and single the cat is the most demanding and annoying. But this is just her personality. It is how she is. Playing with her does help, but she still loves to talk all the time and be in your face at all times and on you. And wake you up in the morning to feed her with her yells and walk on your face while you are sleeping, etc.

Your cat is how he is to a large extent, the sooner you accept this, the better. You can't really "train" your cat, like you could a dog. You can't reason with kitty, like you could a child. A cat is a cat. If you live in a small studio and it is just you and him he is probably very bored, some cats, and most kittens are active. Most kittens seems to crave exercise and have a lot of energy to burn during their awake hours (cats sleep a lot). Think about him for a minute, if you were in his shoes. You have the world, your friends, your career, the world outside, he has you and the studio.

We as owners have to play with them and give them lots of love and attention, it is part of owning most animals, we are responsible for their care, for giving them mental stimulation, love, water, food, exercise, everything. This means taking some time out of your day every day to play with the cat and spend quality time . Lots of people get two kittens so they can keep each other company and burn energy together. Does he have some cat trees? What types of toys does he like best?

mrblanche · Feb 23, 2008

Assuming your post isn't a troll (and it bears some of the marks of one), I'd have to say that your cat is about the equivalent of a 14-year-old human. He wants to talk to you, but you lock him up, depriving him of stimulus and companionship. You talk about him as if he were an object that you intended to put on your shelf to have your visitors admire and to congratulate yourself with your kindness, and you seem to forget he does have a personality. He's much less manipulative than any child would ever be; if that's news to you, then you really have less experience with children than with cats. All you have to do is provide food, water, and a litter box, and you'll find he'll largely take care of himself. Some cats are "talkier" than others, even cats in the same litter. But closing him in another room won't shut him up; it will only make him louder.

Four months with my cat

rosiemac

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crabdiver

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Thread starter

rosiemac

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cattiew

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kelicat

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brokenheart

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cattiew

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rogueruby

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brokenheart

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enuja

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chloekitty98

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faith's_mom

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faith's_mom

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cococat

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mrblanche

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