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My cat that used to ADORE me..

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
...is NOW hissing at me and making that crazy sound that cats make towards enemies, like dogs or other cats.
I'm afraid my kitty will never forgive me for bringing a little kitten in. I got this little kitten for him (my kitty) actually, plus she looked so sad at the pound, that I couldn't help but adopt her.
The minute that I brought her home, bang bang goes balistic and now won't even respond to me.
It's so bad that I have had to find the new little kitty a new home and now bang bang is sick.
It's scaring me that bang bang will hate me forever, almost as if I have betrayed him and he's never going to trust me ever again.

what should i do and is my hypothesis on the whole situation correct?
I'm miserable because of this. Please reply!

post #2 of 15
Resident cats usually are displeased when a new cat comes home.

You should confine the new kitty to the bathroom for a few days and let the two sniff each other through the door for awhile. Once the resident cat gets used to the scent of the new one, she'll be more accepting.

My cats all hissed at the new kitten. I kept her confined either in the bathroom and by a wall of boxes in the living room. The others would peek at her over the boxes. Now they all play together. The grumpiest one likes her the best.

Let them start over with this slow introduction.
post #3 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by bang bang View Post
It's so bad that I have had to find the new little kitty a new home and now bang bang is sick.
Bang bang got sick? Was the kitten sick too? You better visit your vet!
post #4 of 15
Introducing new cats to each other can take a few weeks, and you want to make sure your existing cat doesn't feel left out.
post #5 of 15
How long have you had the kitten?

When I brought my second cat home, my first cat who was a big mushball got very angry. Hissing at me, growling, glaring, swatting at me. I felt like I'd ruined his life. This lasted a few days. By the 6th day they were hanging out together in the bathtub.

It takes a while.
post #6 of 15
I'm going through this very thing right now. Rather than start a new thread, I'll post in this one.

I brought Frau home last night (we renamed her...and my fiancée is student teaching to be a German Teacher). MK, who's normally VERY affectionate towards Teresa, and was being his normal self until we put the cat carrier down. The moment he did and he got a clue as to what was in that carrier, his disposition changed...totally. Ears back, tail puffed, hissing, spitting, growling, but fortunately no swiping.

As an aside, this is where my ignorance as a young cat owner almost a decade ago shows...when MK would swipe, I would "kitty bopped" him. I lightly tapped the bridge of his nose with the side of my index finger...it's what I was told I was supposed to do. He stopped swiping. I had no idea about the water gun thing. So, now, it's VERY rare that he swipes...and it's normally at little kids that are pulling his whiskers or tail.

We moved Frau into the bathroom and I tried to comfort MK. I offered him a treat (a word he responds to by meowing and going over to the food bowl we use for his treats...pouches or cans of soft food), but he wouldn't touch it. We left him in the bedroom and he sat on the other side of the room and watched the bathroom door. I came in to the living room, did a google seach and found this site. We are currently doing the blanket approach we found in an article on this site.

We kept trying to comfort MK by sitting on the bed with him, but he kept growling. Eventually, we felt it best to shut him off from the bedroom while we watched TV/news in the living room. Eventually, he settled down and, by the end of the night, he was back to his normal self...rubbing on me, sitting on my desk. But, he still wouldn't eat his treat.

I would go in during commercials and check on Frau. I'd pet her and play with her on the blanket. When I'd come back out to the living room, MK would growl, but his ears and tail were normal. He's continued hissed and lightly growl at me this morning when I came in from playing with her..ears in a forward position

I'm assuming that the hissing and slight growling are normal and a move in the right direction from last night when it was all out war for a few minutes. Am I doing right by petting Frau and them coming in and letting MK smell me, hiss a little, and then petting him? The door to the bedroom is open but he's not really gone in there much. He DID eat a treat this morning...rather voraciously.

I want to be calm and confident, but this is extremely new territory and Teresa is already incredibly nervous about the whole thing. She was very upset last night because of how angry MK was. Today, she questioned us picking Frau up. I've told her that everything will be ok and that it most definitely takes time...MK is just being possessive. So, I've come here to post a novel in hopes that I have the right impression of the situation and that way, I can comfort her as well.

Sorry for the length. I tend to post long responses.
post #7 of 15
I know the feeling, I went through the same thing. Matilda still hasn't forgiven me and I feel so bad for bringing a kitten home. In retrospect, she would do best as an only cat but they are both part of our family.

With a new cat, it's best to keep them seperated for at least a week. Let them sniff each other through the door. Get them to associate each other with good things (like food). If you do a google search for "cat introductions" you will find loads of information. I had no idea it was such a complicated process (or can be) but I'm glad I did a little research on the subject.

When I brought Chloe home, Matilda had only been here for 5 weeks. I kept Chloe in her own room for about 5 days and slowly introduced them. They are so opposite, personality-wise. Chloe is this hyper little 6 month old (she was 3 months old when I brought her home) and Matilda is a lazy (but young) adult cat. Chloe always wants to play and she annoys Matilda. They tolerate each other just fine and are just now starting to sort of sleep near each other on the bed (there is still at least a foot between them). Chloe is mellowing out a little so that is helping. I don't know if they will ever be 'friends'. They key is time.

Don't be too hard on yourself about bringing home the new kitten. You did a good thing and saved a life It will just take a lot of time. Your older cat will come around eventually.

There are some things you can do to help the tension. I like Rescue Remedy, it's good for calming cats down (like your resident cat). There are also Feliway diffusers which can help with territorial issues and also can help calm the cats down.
post #8 of 15
I'm picking up some feliway later today.

She darted out when I opened the door to the apartment and MK just growled a lot...stayed on the bed. So, they've been informally introduced.
post #9 of 15
Picked up the Feliway yesterday and plugged it in. It's been in for over 12 hours now and there's definitely a difference in MK's behavior now. He's calmer and more like his usual self...mowing at me early in the morning. He's been on a hungerstrike of some kind since we brought Frau home and he was all excited to eat this morning. Of course, he gouged himself and vomited.

I had to go into the bathroom to get the carpet cleaner and talked/petted Frau because I feel horrible that she's been stuck in the bathroom for 2.5 days. I know it's for the greater good, but I still feel bad. So, I rub on her, and she rubs me with the side of her face. I will say that doesn't seem put off by the smell of MK on me at all...she's never once hissed or growled at my hand.

I sprayed the carpet and went to comfort MK to let him know it was ok. I started with the hand that Frau had not rubbed. I then moved my other hand to his head to pet him and, of course, he smelled it. Now, normally, this is where he'd hiss and growl, but, this time, he rubbed my hand. I'm really hoping that's a step in the right direction.
post #10 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by bang bang View Post
...is NOW hissing at me and making that crazy sound that cats make towards enemies, like dogs or other cats.
I'm afraid my kitty will never forgive me for bringing a little kitten in. I got this little kitten for him (my kitty) actually, plus she looked so sad at the pound, that I couldn't help but adopt her.
The minute that I brought her home, bang bang goes balistic and now won't even respond to me.
It's so bad that I have had to find the new little kitty a new home and now bang bang is sick.
It's scaring me that bang bang will hate me forever, almost as if I have betrayed him and he's never going to trust me ever again.

what should i do and is my hypothesis on the whole situation correct?
I'm miserable because of this. Please reply!

This is exactly how Kitty was when I took in a homeless cat so I know how bad you feel

It got so bad I had to get an animal behaviourist to come and see us. The thing was no-one wanted my new cat so we had to make a few changes. She now lives in my bedroom with access to the enclosed backyard and Kitty has the rest of the flat.

It has taken nearly 8 long months but Kitty is pretty much back to how he was before.

I`m thinking though that if you have rehomed the new kitten it may be quicker for you. I wasn`t sure from your post if it has gone or you`ve found someone who wants it?

What I had to do with Kitty ( baring in mind he is an indoor/outdoor cat ) was when he came in, I had to pay little attention to him but offer him his favourite treats by hand. No stroking and if he didn`t come to me then I had to leave him to do what he wanted.

When he realised I had chicken he was happy to take the food and go.

After a while he spent more time indoors. He started to rub himself on me again ( which he had stopped doing ) so then I could give him a stroke. This went on for many months, gradually spending more time indoors and coming to me for strokes and treats.

It took ages but was so worth it to have my baby back to him old self
The behaviourist said he wasn`t angry, it was fear that was making him behave like that. Even though I did the initial intro`s slowly he didn`t like it and wanted out. I couldn`t understand why he was like it with me even after I scrubbed my hands and changed clothes after being with Maisie but she said by then he had already associated the smell of her with me so it made no differance.

Hope I haven`t rambled too much
post #11 of 15
I brought home Kiwi (2 yo) to Milo (1.5 yo), so I was introducing two adult cats, and I can tell you that it was weeks before I could leave them in the same space, and months before they stopped hissing at each other. It's been nearly 4 years now and they are buddies, but still have their love quarrels every once in awhile.

So basically, it can take a long long time. It is pretty rare for two animals to just accept each other instantly, according to what I've heard/read.
post #12 of 15
I haven't rehomed her. Right now, at day 2, that's not an option. I admit that it could become an option down the road...and we'd write it off to lesson learned.

I went ahead and moved the blanket out to the bedroom and he was sniffing it from the bed. When I first moved it, he was hissing and growling, but his ears and tail were normal.

I not only feel bad for keeping Frau locked up, but I feel bad because I know that MK is uncomfortable.
post #13 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcwm View Post
I haven't rehomed her. Right now, at day 2, that's not an option. I admit that it could become an option down the road...and we'd write it off to lesson learned.

I went ahead and moved the blanket out to the bedroom and he was sniffing it from the bed. When I first moved it, he was hissing and growling, but his ears and tail were normal.

I not only feel bad for keeping Frau locked up, but I feel bad because I know that MK is uncomfortable.
Sorry, things are getting confused. I was meaning that for the OP Bangbang
post #14 of 15
I did kinda hijack his thread.

I know some forums are really strict about starting new threads when there's an existing similar thread. I figured better to be safe than sorry.
post #15 of 15
Dont give up yet. Not quite the same as Pipsi was only 4 months old when I brought Little Dude home but the first night I thought she was going to kill him. Then I did a bit of research (mostly on this site) and found out about the 'safe room' I kept him separate in our spare room (my husband actually slept in there for 6 nights with him so the little guy wasn't lonely) whilst she got used to the idea of another cat, I had a Feliway plugged in outside the door and luckily for me there's a big gap under the door that they could 'bat' eachother under without actually fighting, whenever I did open the door I had plenty of titbits or catnip treats for Pip but I think the thing that worked the best was the 'vanilla dab' so when I did let him out (just for a couple of hours to start) they smelt the same. What I'm trying to say is that my advice would be to take it very very slowly, it will make things difficult for you for a while (ask my husband - that sofa bed is very uncomfortable!) but is worth it in the long run.
Good luck
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