Why I don't drink!

blue

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i have a hiding place
(well, i almost never drink)


:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:

oh, this is too funny:

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you
getting your arse kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
 

billie

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Hey, this is simply hilarious - I've just sent it to all of my women friends who do drink (just as I do) and they've all enjoyed it thoroughly.

Now I'll think twice before having a beer (and not only for weight concerns)
 

airprincess

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that is absolutely hilarious!!!! I've been guilty of the 'you may think you are whispering and you're not!!
 

ash

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Well I have been guiltyof the wispering malfunction in the past but I am no longer able to drink any alcohol! I have a weak heart and last time I had a drink it felt like my heart was going to stop! Needless to say I have not had any more!
 
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