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Im so frustrated!!

post #1 of 35
Thread Starter 
Alright it just seems as though everything always goes wrong for me! Nothing can go right! My cats have ringworm (Just Eek) the thread for that is

They also just got neutered and Eek had his head scraped at the same time!

Then to top everything off Im pretty sure Im raising the Spawn Of Satan!
My 2 Year Old either hates me, or is possessed by the devil recently! The past few days with him has been a nightmare. He doesn't listen to what I say (he's 2 I can't expect him to always listen) but then he gets mad at me and just whacks me a good one! He has hit me probably like 10 times in the past 4 days!

It all started Wednesday. Angel (my 5 y/o) was spending the night at my grandmas. So we were going to go out to dinner together. So Im getting the kids dressed for the cold wheather and I got Joseph ready and then go to get Jacob ready. He starts screaming at Me, NO WAY MOM! Every piece of clothing I put on him he ripped off, I went to put his socks and shoes on and he ripped his socks off. So I try to remain calm and put it back on him and then go for the shoes, he then grabs a shoe and belts me with it! By the time I finally got there we were a half hour late. So we went out to dinner and then I met them (angel and my gma) at her house. So I put them in the tub (she has a big enough tub for all 3 kids) and he starts screaming at me! NO WAY MOM!! NO WAY MOM! Im like whatever, I get him cleaned up and take him out. So its getting late and I decide I should get the boys home and put them to bed. I get Joseph in first, then go to put Jacob in his booster seat, he gets out and screams at me and I tell him that Ill put him in the other baby seat if he doesn't knock it off! (the other baby seat I have is for 2 year olds he just hates it) So he continues to scream and scream and scream. My grandma comes out of the house and says she would spank his butt if he were her child. I finally get angry about him not listening and put him in the baby seat. He screamed the whole way home! When I get home I go to take him in and he wanted out of the seat but would not get out of the van. At this point I have no patience so I take him out, change his diaper and put them both directly to bed. The next day it starts all over again, with him kicking me and yelling at me NO WAY MOM! I go to pick Angel up from school and he wouldn't sit in his seat again, so I tell him once again that he needs to be in his seat, seatbelted in. He freaks out. So I go and put him in the baby seat because he can't get out of that and he is kicking and screaming the whole time! I drop the girl that gets a ride home with me everyday off at her daycare and go home. I get Jacob unbuckled and get Joseph and Angel out and have the door open and am asking Jacob to come on, time to go in! He screams at me so I take the other two in and go back out to my garage and try to get him in. He wouldn't come for nothing. He took it so far as to bite me! So I go in (my garage door is shut, but the door to inside the house is open) and Im watching him, trying to talk him into coming in. It took 30 minutes to finally get him in the house. I just dont know what Im doing wrong here! I try spending extra time with him alone, and that doesn't work. Ive tried spanking him but Im not really a spanker so it doesn't faze him! Ive tried time outs! Im at my witts end! The worst part about everything is he is so darn mean to Joseph! He pushes him off of things, trips him, bites him, takes his toys away from him and is just down right nasty to him!! Does anyone have any advice?? I know its probably the terrible twos, but Angel never went through any of this!!
post #2 of 35
I feel for you! Take a breath, hold it in and let it out slowly..........Now applaud your self for getting through this week and being able to talk about after the fact! I'm not a mom (except for Maia), but definitely hear your pain!
post #3 of 35
Thread Starter 
Yeah, somedays are better than others I guess! It doesn't help that my DH is on the road all the time! I was lucky enough for him to come home last night, but he leaves again monday morning and wont be back for 2 weeks! I just want to be a good mommy and meowmy, and right now I feel like I can't do either of those things right! I can't seem to get rid of the ringworm on Eek even though its gone off of Jax, Joseph has a head to toe rash (not ringworm) but definatly not good, my luck is since he's the only one of the kids not to have the chicken pox that thats what it is! So its just been a rough week! Im going to sleep in tomarrow and hopefully I will feel better after that!
post #4 of 35
He really has chicken pox? And as far as the ring worm, that is a stubborn parasite!
post #5 of 35
Thread Starter 
Im presuming it is chicken pox. My other two had it a couple months ago even though they were vaccinated for it and he didn't get it. But now he has bumps all over him that are spreading and they look just like chicken pox! I can't get him to the dr till monday either! (Not going to take him to the ER to have them tell me I have to have it run its course!) So all in all everything is frustrating! Of course the poor little guy itches too, Angel itched so bad that she is scarred all over! I tried everything with her, oatmeal baths, creams, oral meds, benadryl and nothing worked! So Im hoping he doesn't have the problem where he scars that easily!
The ringworm has been really annoying also! It never seems to go away! Giving 3 cats baths every other day of the week and meds twice a day isn't easy when you have to take care of 3 kids all by yourself!!
post #6 of 35
I don't even know what to say.....My fingers are sitting on the keyboard as I try to think of words to comfort your situation, but to be honest, it really sucks right now and I can't lie to you about it! All I can offer is an ear and a chat, and one thing that I remember that was a killer itch soother growing up but safe, Witch Hazel.
post #7 of 35
Thread Starter 
Witch Hazel huh?? I havn't tried that!! I did however try Chamomile and Aloe, hydrocorotizone and benadryl!! Can you get witch Hazel at walmart??
post #8 of 35
I don't know, I live in Manhattan, NYC, to be honest I haven't used in in a long time, but it is good soothing skin relief! As far as aloe, the best is if you can get the aloe plant. If you cut the branch/stem/leaf of an aloe plant down the center and rub the extract as well as the leaf on the irritated skin, it is the best for healing! Not really an itch soother, but healing aid extreme, perfect for sun burn! But in this case is good to use when healing process has started. If it is chicken pox, as you know its something that has to be fought out, no treatment when its in process, just ways to sooth the discomfort......
post #9 of 35
Thread Starter 
I also have a humongous aloe plant! We've been growing it for years! So Ill try that too!! THanks! Talk to you tomarrow! Or Later today! LOL
post #10 of 35
you can get witch hazel at walmart, htey have clear which is the normal kind and if i am not mistaken they have a green kind that has a small amount of menthol which would help cool as with soothing it, i remember my chicken pox really well cause i had them so bad, i had them all thru my mouth and throat and the bottom of my feet were layered with them to the point i could not walk without screaming. I was only about 7 but god do i ever remember them. the only thing that helped me was calamine lotion for poison ivy. It really helped. It didnt take it away by any means but it helped. all i can say is this is the terrible two stage and regardless of how much attention you give him you gotta remember he is the youngest, the baby of the family and tho the others were not bad thru their two's he has an older brother and sister so he is going to act the worst out of the three. My x husband had three daughters that pretty close in age, they were born in 83, 85, and 87 . i started raising them when the youngest was almost 5 so i didnt go thru the terrible twos but i will be the first to tell you as a step parent that little one would cause so much crap for the group but then would turn on the sweetness and always cause the middle one to get in trouble for it and as they got older it didnt get better it got worse cause she figured out how to never get in trouble for it. it wasnt until the middle one was about 13 that we finally realized that all along it was the youngest. All i can tell ya is be lucky you have at least one girl and not all boys cause its worse when they are all siblings of the same sex.
post #11 of 35
P.S. I also remember with my chicken pox they were itchy too from where they start drying out to heal so i think the aloe will soothe that also because it will keep the healing pox moist.
post #12 of 35
Thread Starter 
Yeah, its actually not the youngest, Joseph, But the middle child Jacob!! Jacob is 2 and Joseph is 1! Joseph is the good one, ever so patient, and just a lover, Jacob is my evil child! Always has been, but thing are getting worse! Joseph is the one with the chicken pox though! So yeah, I got fun coming out of my ears!
post #13 of 35
Thread Starter 
Alright, so tonight my 2 y/o Jacob came up to me and asked for juice, so I get the juice out and he starts screaming! So I grab a different kind and he says NO WAY MOM! So I grabbed the last kind I had and he freaked out, started kicking and screaming! It was awful. Finally Jake came in and took him out of the kitchen because he was yelling at me so loud! He takes full blown swings at me and everything. He would never do that stuff to jake! Everything I do for him is wrong, he doesn't want me to help him do anything, if I dont let him pick out his own silverware he will freak out and wont eat until I let him pick it out. He has to have his way all the time! I play, I cuddle, I do whatever he wants! Ive tried tough love, Ive tried being a softy (Im better at being a softy) and nothing work with him! I know that middle children have issues but this is crazy!! He hates me!!
post #14 of 35
OHH I feel soo much for you... I cant handle a ill mom and my four leggeds
post #15 of 35
Thread Starter 
Yeah, It would be tough having a realling ill mom. My mom just got over cancer (again) but seems to be doing fine. She had other health issues, she can't drive so I have to drive her everywhere including her dr which is 44 miles away from me!
Some days, with 3 kids, and 3cats, one of whom is battling ringworm its a struggle to even get outta bed!! I enjoy peace and quiet every once in a while, and latey with Jacobs attitude its not happening! I know he'll grow out of it, but it still stinks in the mean time!
post #16 of 35
I'm far from a doctor and don't want to put ideas in your mind, but .........Could there be a possibility of ADHD with Jacob? Have you spoken with his doctor about these tantrums?
post #17 of 35
Thread Starter 
No I havn't spoken to the Doctor yet, see I have ADHD, and my Brother has ADHD, and the treatment they give to children is dangerous to say the least! If the medicine is given at too young of an age it can cause Turettes (sp)Syndrome! My brother has this and trust me, its not a good thing! I would much rather deal with the tantrums. He needs to go to the doctor anyway so Ill take him in and at least get him diagnosed if thats it!

I just keep thinking there has to be some easy way of making things better!
post #18 of 35
Oh I wasn't thinking about medications, I was thinking more about if diagnosed, then there would be different ways of approaching his needs. Also maybe diet and special therapy for both, someone who can help you find ways to avoid fits and violent behavior.........We can't always figure everything out on our own, sometimes a little outside help, and not necessarily medication, is just the right cure!
post #19 of 35
Does he have anything that he REALLY likes or enjoys? If so, tell him that the next time he hits/screams/bites you, that he won't be able to play with that for 5 or so minutes.He needs to learn even at 2, that it isn't right to do those things to you.
I would see if you can maybe get him interested in something, that he can do ONLY when he is good.
post #20 of 35
Thread Starter 
I totally agree with the Mommy & Jacob counciling! There is 2 things that he likes the best,
!.) His Blanket (If you try to give him a dif one even for the night he trips)
2.) Superman, he sleeps with Superman every night~ (its actually spider man but he thinks its superman!!) I dont know if maybe he is a home body or what, because 90% of our troubles happen when we're out and about!
Oh and Ill ever let DH shot again, he got everykind of Gatorade except for the ones me and Jacob like! (grape feirce)So thats why he freaked out about the juice earlier! Didn't have the kind he wasnted! Well have to see what the dr says about all this becase Im more than really to take councling!!
post #21 of 35
I don't have any answers for sure, but if you're trying to reason him into doing things, it's been my experience that you just can't reason with a 2 year old. The only thing I would suggest is punishments when he misbehaves that will matter to him (i.e., taking away privileges) and being consistent with it. And then have him earn that privilege back by being good?

I hope things get better for you soon.
post #22 of 35
Thread Starter 
So today he is being all nicey nice to me, which is so weird but Im taking advantage out of it and getting my xtra kisses while I can!! Nap time today me and the boys decided to lay on the couch and he cuddled with me all sweet like, however I did wake up to a shoe getting thrown at my head but that was by Joseph! My lip is all fat and bloody!! It only bled for a couple minutes but now it has a blood blister looking type thing on it!! Everyone think my DH beats me! LOL it a hoot when I tell them my 1 y/o did it! Oh well, it'll go away soon enough! Giving myself good that Jacobs couple of bad days have gone away!!
post #23 of 35
ok, let me start with the fact that i don't have any children of my own. i do have 10 nieces & nephews, & i am a professional educator [special ed teacher]. based on that... my sister got a book she says helped her when her kids were small: Raising the Strong-Willed Child.
since spanking is an acceptable choice in my child-rearing philosophy, i'd probably spank in some of the instances you cited. the juice thing - i'd've said, "ok, then no juice for you." if he had hit/kicked me at that, a spanking & a a time-out would've followed, plus i'd've insisted on an apology, as well.
i know he's only 2, but he sound quite advanced, communication-wise [this is a good thing - shows he's smart!].
post #24 of 35
Hope your having a better day!!!

I am only a PM away
post #25 of 35
Thread Starter 
Today the tantrums made me late to pick Angel up from preschool....GRRRR!!
Him and his giant attitude!! Freaks out and starts disrobing and just erks me in general! I get him in the van finally and he will not let me buckle him in!! Then I try to leave it at that and he freaks out because he's not buckled!! *PULLING MY HAIR OUT* He's a stinker!!! Then when I finally get him home I get the other two inside the house and there he is in the van not willing to get out! Such a poophead. Ill have to see what the dr says about this, cuz its crap!! I can't deal with this all the time all by myself!! I dont have a life already and this is just making things worse, I can't go out of the house without him freaking out, which makes me not wanna leave the house at all!
post #26 of 35
YOU are bigger than him. Do not try to talk him into getting out of the vehicle. You take him and drag him out and into the house. I would allow him
to lay on the floor and tantrum(ignore him while he does it)but if he starts hitting me or throwing stuff he would get a spanking. I feel there is nothing wrong with spanking as long as the adult is in total control. There is a big difference between spanking and abusing. You also have to spank on the botttom only hard enough to cause at least some pain....I grew up in a home where I got spanked if I pushed things too hard. It did not teach me to hate my parents.It did not teach me to go around thinking hitting others was okay. It taught me,hey,thats not cool or hey..hitting hurts I'm going to quit. I believe there is such a thing as bipolar in kids but I think the majority of kids that are diagnosed with something like that are kids that have been allowed to hit,kick,bite scream and get their way. I would never let my kids hit me or do the same to a sibling. They'd get their butts spanked. If they bite,I lightly pop them on the mouth. I had one son that that didn't work so I bit him back once(not HARD)and it worked. If he tells you NO,then he does NOT get what he wants at all. If he won't get into his seat,then you put him in so he can't get out and turn the music up Some kids are more strong willed and if you don't get a handle on it now, it will be very hard when he is as strong as you. He shoves/hits his brother....he gets spanked. I don't get people that think that if you do this,it will only teach them that hitting is okay. You are teaching him it is NOT okay to hurt his brother. You are the mom. You are the one to dole out discipline. Its DIFFERENT than sibling hitting sibling. When he is being sweet and kind, tell him how much you love him and enjoy his good mood. Everytime he does something right or good or without throwing a fit, praise him. If he screams or yells NO and then you change and give him what he wants you are only reinforcing that his strategy works...they are smart.
Good luck.You can do it.
post #27 of 35
Thread Starter 
Yeah, I think you're probably right... I grew up in a house where we got to choose our belt... So Ive always tried to stear away from spanking if at all possible! He is very strong willed!! He can go for hours just screaming and hitting and such! With Angel, she has gotten a pat or two and mostly knows better, Joseph would never do anything very bad, Yeah, he hit me the other day with a shoe, but I dont think he was trying to throw it at my head... He gets a few pats on the hand for the most part and the other day when he bit me I did bite him back... It hurts and it seems like it worked! He hasn't bit me since! he had bitten me like 5 times that day though... Jacob is just different, he has the worst attitude and prides himself in making me angry! ARGG!!! He's so stubborn! 2 years old and he's way too smart and way too naughty! Things have got to be done to take care of this issue before it gets out of control!
post #28 of 35
It's been a LOOOOONG time since I had a 2 year old, but does it help if he doesn't have an audience? I remember one time my daughter tried this, and I walked away to another room. She just followed me from room to room, and gave up when I ignored her.
post #29 of 35
See, this is why I'm not a parent. Honestly, I think he does need a spanking. Not a whipping (I would NEVER hit a child with a belt), but a few firm swats on the butt. When I was growing up, I remember being spanked maybe 3 times. Most of the time, just the threat of the spanking was enough to get me back in line because I know my parents would do it if I REALLY pushed it.

I don't have kids, but my best friend's son went through a milder rebellious period when he was about that age. According to her doctor, this is the age when the child starts wanting to develop some independence and start being their own person. She was ready to pull her hair out too, but the doctor recommended letting her son do some things on his own. Let him pick out his own silverware (ummm...sharp knives probably wouldn't be a good idea though ), let him chose certain things. Like I said, I'm not speaking from my own experience, I was just experiencing motherhood vicariously through my friend, which is ABSOLUTELY fine with me!

Good luck with that!

Oh, BTW, when I had poison ivy I rubbed witch hazel on it and it actually helped a lot!

For the ringworm, didn't they give you an ointment to put on your kitty? When mine had it they gave me that and didn't recommend baths (so the ointment could soak into the skin). Oh, I got ringworm from the cat, and the best thing for it is athletes foot ointement. Cleared me up in a few days. Don't know if you could put that on your kitty if it is on a place he could lick it off.

Wow...your life make MY head hurt!
post #30 of 35
Thread Starter 
haha my life makes my head hurt too!! I just went to change their diapers so I could put them to bed and he fought me tooth and nail, kicking and hitting and yelling at me! I gave him a good swat on the butt and he said "NAUGHTY MOMMY" which was kind of funny, but I didn't laught because I didn't want to encourage him. Everything is his, and his lil bro sure knows how to take a beating from him! Ive taken to sticking him in his crib and just letting him scream! If I walk away from him he follows me around and screams and hits to get my attention! So I locked myself in the bathroom (yes I know, I took the easy way out) and he sat at the door and pounded and screamed! ARGG!!
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