TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Men only!! This could help you
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Men only!! This could help you

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Undertand your woman a bit better, when they throw these words at you at least you know what they mean. you have been warned!!

1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm.This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
post #2 of 19
Haha, Ill have to show that to my DH!
post #3 of 19
Thats great...My DH wants a copy for his office at work!
post #4 of 19
here let me help you. this should help clear up any misunderstanding.

These are the rules
Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail. If you want to cry then cry just do not expect me to change my answer.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.

1. Yes,No, and a head nod are perfectly acceptable answers to every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a good thing. Please do no go see a doctor about it

1. If you want help with the house work then you can help with the yard work and car fixing

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the effort to find out.

1. Yes you are in shap. -ROUND is a shape.

heeh i hope that helped
post #5 of 19
Whatever.............

Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
here let me help you. this should help clear up any misunderstanding.

These are the rules
Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail. If you want to cry then cry just do not expect me to change my answer.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.

1. Yes,No, and a head nod are perfectly acceptable answers to every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a good thing. Please do no go see a doctor about it

1. If you want help with the house work then you can help with the yard work and car fixing

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the effort to find out.

1. Yes you are in shap. -ROUND is a shape.

heeh i hope that helped
post #6 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by catcaregiver View Post
Whatever.............

i am just trying to help
I am so misunderstood
post #7 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
here let me help you. this should help clear up any misunderstanding.

These are the rules
Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail. If you want to cry then cry just do not expect me to change my answer.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.

1. Yes,No, and a head nod are perfectly acceptable answers to every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a good thing. Please do no go see a doctor about it

1. If you want help with the house work then you can help with the yard work and car fixing

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the effort to find out.

1. Yes you are in shap. -ROUND is a shape.

heeh i hope that helped
We really are simple creatures. The above list is perfect.
post #8 of 19
I do the yard work, the mechanical work and the housework.

I got screwed!

Jeremy and I will actually shout What? Nothing, Whatever, and Fine at each other, just because
post #9 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by u8myufo View Post
Undertand your woman a bit better, when they throw these words at you at least you know what they mean. you have been warned!!

1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm.This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8)Whatever:Is a women's way of saying

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Is that why I stay single???
post #10 of 19
That is great!!!!
post #11 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
here let me help you. this should help clear up any misunderstanding.

These are the rules
Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail. If you want to cry then cry just do not expect me to change my answer.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.

1. Yes,No, and a head nod are perfectly acceptable answers to every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a good thing. Please do no go see a doctor about it

1. If you want help with the house work then you can help with the yard work and car fixing

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the effort to find out.

1. Yes you are in shap. -ROUND is a shape.

heeh i hope that helped
Bruce, are you SURE I'm not married to you? I have to forward that to hubby!
post #12 of 19
Boy can I relate to all that. It's true!
post #13 of 19
Absolutely........

Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a good thing. Please do no go see a doctor about it
....Oh my!.......you got to be kidding my friend!....
post #14 of 19
I read somewhere that there is a tribe in the South Seas who lives on two adjacent islands. All the men live on one island, all the women live on the other. They get together about four times a year (officially; most of the islanders can swim very well).

That sounds like a great system, doesn't it?
post #15 of 19
Everything would be a whole lot better if all men would just do what we say. JK
post #16 of 19
that's great!
post #17 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
here let me help you. this should help clear up any misunderstanding.

These are the rules
Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail. If you want to cry then cry just do not expect me to change my answer.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.

1. Yes,No, and a head nod are perfectly acceptable answers to every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a good thing. Please do no go see a doctor about it

1. If you want help with the house work then you can help with the yard work and car fixing

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the effort to find out.

1. Yes you are in shap. -ROUND is a shape.

heeh i hope that helped
And all this time I was angry at my boyfriend for nothing?!! Come on, you should have tolds us all this before!!

Seriously, great post!
post #18 of 19
I am SO glad I'm single!!!
post #19 of 19
That is absolutely hysterical!!!!! I had to see what was for men only, and the best part is that it made me laugh........why????? Because it's basically true, yes all of it, true! Cheers!!!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Men only!! This could help you