Opinions please!!

catloverin_ks

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
10,177
Purraise
1
Location
Podunk, Kansas
I am sorry, but I just have to get some opinions here!!
And I think it is ok to post it here and not in IMO.

So DH and I had a discussion on whether married people should be allowed to work at a bar....funny subject, but it is because I had a offer to work DAYS at a bar and he does not want me to take it.

So................he says NO way, that it is not a job for married people and I say yes as long as you do your job and you get paid for it~it is ok.

Am I wrong for thinking like that??
 

misty8723

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 16, 2006
Messages
7,688
Purraise
8,129
Location
North Carolina
I don't see what difference it makes if you're married or single to work in a bar (or anywhere else).
 

okiron

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
405
Purraise
1
What exactly are his objections on it? What will you be doing?
 

arlyn

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
9,306
Purraise
50
Location
Needles, CA
A normal bar? Sounds fine to me.
I could understand where he was coming from if it was a strip joint.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

catloverin_ks

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
10,177
Purraise
1
Location
Podunk, Kansas
Originally Posted by okiron

What exactly are his objections on it? What will you be doing?
He just thinks that the drunks will make passes at me, and he don't like that idea. Umm just basically be a bartender, which is something I thought would always be fun. But I havent yet decided on whether I am going to take it....
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

catloverin_ks

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
10,177
Purraise
1
Location
Podunk, Kansas
Originally Posted by Arlyn

A normal bar? Sounds fine to me.
I could understand where he was coming from if it was a strip joint.
Exactly!!
I totally agree!!
 

okiron

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
405
Purraise
1
Tell your husband that drunks are gonna make passes at you regardless of where you work. At least as a bartender you'll be making tons of money lol.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8

catloverin_ks

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
10,177
Purraise
1
Location
Podunk, Kansas
Originally Posted by okiron

Tell your husband that drunks are gonna make passes at you regardless of where you work. At least as a bartender you'll be making tons of money lol.
Yup! I agree....I worked at a convinient(sp?) store and there was always guys(and drunks) coming in and they flirt there just as well!!!
 

petstorejunkie

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
91
Purraise
1
Location
Georgia
He needs to trust you not to reciprocate those drunken advances. I would just reassure him that you love him, and only him. remind him it's a public fascility and he can visit anytime
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #10

catloverin_ks

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
10,177
Purraise
1
Location
Podunk, Kansas
Originally Posted by Petstorejunkie

He needs to trust you not to reciprocate those drunken advances. I would just reassure him that you love him, and only him. remind him it's a public fascility and he can visit anytime
Yes and he knows this
The owners are very nice and caring people and they dont care if your spouse sits in there, as long as they dont stir up trouble!
 

trouts mom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2006
Messages
23,949
Purraise
16
Location
Snowy Santa Land
Yep like everyone said here..it doesn't matter what you do for a living..if guys are going to flirt with you they will and he needs to trust you
 

pjk5900

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jun 12, 2004
Messages
1,249
Purraise
1
Location
Southwest Indiana
Hate to go against the rest of you all but,

I think it would end up being more trouble than it's worth.

He will be jealous, you will enjoy the attention and it will drive a wedge between you.

Sorry, my husband wouldn't want me to work in a bar either.
I agree, there's nothing good to come of it.
 

hurdyburdy

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Oct 2, 2007
Messages
794
Purraise
1
I wouldn't really see the problem with it.. but would it bother you if the tables were turned and your husband was working in that environment?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #15

catloverin_ks

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
10,177
Purraise
1
Location
Podunk, Kansas
Originally Posted by hurdyburdy

I wouldn't really see the problem with it.. but would it bother you if the tables were turned and your husband was working in that environment?
I wouldnt mind, and he knows that
 

twstychik

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
5,720
Purraise
4
Location
Northern IN
Originally Posted by pjk5900

Hate to go against the rest of you all but,

I think it would end up being more trouble than it's worth.

He will be jealous, you will enjoy the attention and it will drive a wedge between you.

Sorry, my husband wouldn't want me to work in a bar either.
I agree, there's nothing good to come of it.
So, it's that cut and dry huh? I'm fairly certain that (providing it wasn't an "adult lounge") that my husband could be secure in the fact that I love him and am married to him. He would NOT be jealous and I probably wouldn't enjoy any attention and we certainly would not let it drive a wedge between us. In fact, I can say with some confidence that the advances of a bar fly would be far from enjoyable for me.
 

rockcat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 6, 2002
Messages
6,665
Purraise
18
Location
The Spacecoast
I spent 19 years in the bar and restaurant business, much of it as a bartender. You will get hit on. Definately. Sure you get hit on at other places, but more so at a bar. Also, the men hitting on you will be drinking.

So, you are trustworthy and can handle being hit on. There isn't anything wrong with working in a bar. You are just doing your job........YOU are not responding ------- but it makes your husband uncomfortable.

Sometimes married people do/don't do things for each other. Sometimes it's not so much who is right. Sometimes being right is very important. Pick your battles. Only you know how important this one is.
 

larussa

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
4,899
Purraise
71
Location
Central New Jersey
I don't see anything wrong in working in a bar no matter who you are. It's just a way to make money and help in the household, it's not as if your working the streets.
 

yosemite

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2001
Messages
23,313
Purraise
81
Location
Ingersoll, ON
Sounds as though your hubby is a tiny bit insecure in your relationship.
If that is the case, then your working in a bar is going to bother him a lot so I think the decision you need to make is whether putting that sort of strain on his insecurity and your relationship is worth the extra money. Sometimes the money isn't that important IMO. Jobs come and go, hubbies (hopefully) stay.

I can somewhat relate in that my husband was a full-time musician during our first 5 years of marriage. It was difficult for me at times - not because I didn't trust him, but the groupies were unbelievable. I swear they would go out with Godzilla if he strapped on a musical instrument (not that my hubby looked anything like Godzilla - just the opposite in fact). I saw young women who apparently had no pride when it came to trying to hustle one of the band. There were times even when I was there in the same room and they knew who I was, they would try to grab him and kiss him. Just recently in fact, I went to see him play (he still plays with a band for fun and they do about a dozen gigs a year) and one woman (not so young), said to me, "Doesn't it make you hot seeing him up there?". I couldn't believe she said that. What an idiot.
 
Top