Thank you all again for your nice words and support. I just wanted to say that I feel better now. I still wake up during the night thinking for a second "I can't believe I feel asleep so long, I have to feed Maya". I feel like she is somewhere in me. I don't know, I keep talking to her in my head and I somehow feel her presence around me, like if she was following me everywhere I go. Maybe that's just an impression (I'd rather think she's running around with her babies over the rainbow bridge), but I feel like she hasn't totally left this world. I've been with her 10 small days, wich is almost nothing in a life. But she changed a part of me forever, opening my eyes to the importance of spaying/neutering, and to the infinite pleasure of taking care of a foster cat.
I will never forget the moment that she died in my arms, scared and hurt, neither will I forget her loving eyes when she found a safe home in my appartment. I will also always remember these five tiny heads and spines that I saw on the radiography inside her belly.
This is the last picture I took of her, the day before she died. While I was taking pictures, she was purring in a weird way because her throat was so irritated. And inside her belly, it's like if her babies were boucing and jumping: you could see little bumps appearing and disapearing quickly everywhere on her belly.
I love you Maya
And I love you little guys inside her
I hope you're fine wherever you are
And I hope that, this time, my love for you all will protect you enough
Of all the violence, the pain and the suffering in the world.