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Is it possible?

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
I am one of those people, when something gets into my mind, it stays there and I cannot sleep.
Tonight, I was trying to go to sleep and a friend of mine popped up into my head and I started to wonder, is it possible to have a soul mate thats not your loved one? Like a friend sort of soul mate?
I havent seen this guy in years, we parted on bad terms and the sad thing is, I miss his friendship, I miss the jokes we used to kid about, we looked alike - that a lot of people thought we were brother and sister, we thought the same way, it was like a male version of me. I dont even remember why we fought or why we dont talk anymore. I have not told hubby everything about him. I am not in love with this guy or anything, I just miss the conversations we had.
Is it really possible to have a soulmate thats not the mr right for you? Like a friend soulmate? I always thought a soulmate was like the person you end up with.
I really dont know what I am thinking, I just needed to get this out of my head so I can get some sleep.

Thanks for letting me ramble.
post #2 of 14

Yes, I think you can have a soulmate who you were not ment to marry. One of my best friends was a male..... We were awesome together, we knew each others thoughts, we joked, we were in love with each others personallities...but not in love physically with each other.

When he got married, I was really hurt (I never told him that), I felt like I had lost my friend forever. We don't talk very often (his wife feel insecure with me talking to him, and I dont want to get in the middle of his "business") - I think he was my soulmate, but I don't think I would have ever married him!

I'm sure I've confused you...... OH WELL!!!

post #3 of 14

I believe it is possible. I think that those people are ones with whom we have had a soul connection in a past life. Perhaps they were not a lover or mate, but a sibling, parent or child. I know not everyone believes in that sort of thing, but that's just my theory.
post #4 of 14
Thread Starter 
He was probably my brother in a past life, thats how we related to each other.
post #5 of 14
Kellye, I personally believe that for every person, there are people of either gender that once you get to know them, they're like a brother or sister. Except even better, as I don't relate to my brothers that well ... so "soulmate" is probably right.
post #6 of 14

My best friend is a guy who I dated for 6 years. We are most definitely soul mates. He is, without a doubt, a male version of me. We have so many bizarre little things in common that it is scary. He has some MAJOR committment issues, which is why our 'other' relationship did not last, but we are still joined together at the hip, for some weird reason. Friends insist that he is still in love with me. For a long time, I thought that somehow we were going to end up working out, but I see now that never will happen. The relationship causes a fair amount of questioning by people. His friends insist that we must still be sleeping together. We aren't. For me, that's the line that defines the relationship. A girl he was recently seeing asked what the deal was with us. He just explained to her that I have been and always would be in the picture. I suppose that now we are more like family; I am probably closer to him than any member of my family. But it's a difficult relationship to manage, given everyone's preconceived notions of men and women. It has taken me a long time to be able to negotiate it successfully, and bear in mind that I do not currently have a s/o in my life. I don't recommend crossing that bridge since you have a husband in the picture. Trust me, practically NOBODY understands.
post #7 of 14
Yeah...I do think it's possible.

The chances of hubby understanding are probably slim to none therefore, I would not even really mention it...but that is my opinion. Especially since you haven't seen him in years. Now, the reason you are probably thinking about him may not be that you necessarily miss 'him' but maybe you miss having someone close to confide in. Someone to talk to and just spill your guts to. Sometimes it's harder to tell everything to the person you share your life with and you just need someone who is on neutral grounds who will just listen and not challenge or condemn what you are feeling/saying.

Do I believe in emotional soulmates? Definately. And I truly believe that it is the best thing in life. Everyone needs someone to listen to us and to hear us out when we need to vent.

I think the reason he is probably on your mind right now may be because there is something you'd like to talk about with someone and there is no one you really want to confide in and you wish he was there to listen. Just my guess. I may be wrong.

But, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's only natural to miss old friends and the good times/closeness you've shared. Heck....if you guys looked alike and thought the same way....that is one friendship that will be hard to replace.
post #8 of 14
i start thinking about friends sometimes and can't get them out of my mind. even if they weren't super close friends. i just figure there's a reason they are in my mind.. that i should call or if i don't keep in touch or know where they are anymore, say a little prayer for them.

as for the soul mate nonspouse thing... yeah. i totally believe it. i don't think it is just a male-female thing. i think there are people who are soul mates of sorts on a totally platonic level. i think the irish call it anam cara. (if any of you know gaelic, i aplogze if i mispell it.) i had a book about it once. i will have to dig it up.

i totally understand not telling jake. i had a couple guys i felt like that towards. my ex was totally jealous and accused me of being unfaithful. it's hard to explain unless you have one, i guess.
post #9 of 14
Thread Starter 
oh i would never dream of being unfaithful, its not in my nature and Jake is the only one for me anyway.
You are probably right Jan, theres probably a reason why I started thinking.
I am just going to get on with my life and focus on whats important. Thanks everyone for your input. I feel better for getting this off my chest.
post #10 of 14
I missed the big discussion, but wanted to add my 2 cents anyway.

I definitely believe in friendship soulmates, and not necessarily male-female. It's almost like the key is when no one understands the relationship. When I was in college and my best friend and I hung out every day, almost everyone thought we were lesbian lovers (although if you knew us that idea was not even a remote possibility!). Even her husband accused us of that because he just couldn't understand us wanting to be together all the time and all the strange connections we had. We've grown apart in recent years, because of location (she lives in Nebraska), family (I got married and she has 3 kids), and money especially since we can't afford to talk on the phone for 4 hours a night anymore (yes, we did that for about 2 years after I moved out here after college. Talk about phone bills!). I still consider her my best friend though, and when we do talk it's like we've seen each other every day since the last time we talked.
post #11 of 14
There are people of both sexes that we meet and have an instant connection with. It seems as if you have always known them, and they become friends immediately. That's a non-romantic soulmate to me. I had that kind of connection with my brother-in-law. We could talk for hours and argue philosophy with great pleasure. If he was in a bad mood, I could always tease him out of it, and if I was being stubborn, he could tell me so without making me mad. We didn't always agree, but respected each other's opinions. I felt a truly platonic love for him.

My sister and he never had that kind of connection, but theirs was a romantic love connection. They argued constantly, but couldn't live without each other. I loved him like a real brother and a great friend. He died last summer after surgery, and I felt as if part of me had died too. It seemed impossible to me that he could die, even though I had previously lost my parents.
post #12 of 14
I definately think a close friend, whether male or female can be your soul mate. And I also think it is great when men and women can be such close friends!!!!
post #13 of 14
I think certain people enter your life to help you through a specific period of time when your 'soul' is troubled. Therefore, I don't believe that one person is your soulmate, but many people can turn out to be a soulmate because they fulfill different things that you need.

I believe one of my soulmates was a guy I met in Grade 1!! We grew up together and then went to high school together. What makes this unique is that we never hung out together, but everytime we locked eyes I 'felt' a connection to his soul. It was quite amazing.

We ended up dating while I was in university. He ended up having an accident at work one night when he jammed his knee in a moving conveyor belt and was taken to the hospital. I was at home sleeping and woke up with a pain in the same knee, by the morning it was gone. He told me what happened and it was just too freaky!!

We went our separate ways, but he is the closest connection to a soul mate that I have experienced! I would love to connect with him again!

post #14 of 14
Kass - that's a beautiful way to put it!!!!

I think certain people enter your life to help you through a specific period of time when your 'soul' is troubled. Therefore, I don't believe that one person is your soulmate, but many people can turn out to be a soulmate because they fulfill different things that you need.

I've always believed in "soulmate" as in significant other, but Kellye's question got me to thinking... and several people besides hubby came to mind. Both existed at different periods of my life - both were completely platonic - one was male, one was female.

However, I'm not sure that it is only limited to a time when your soul is troubled - could be you're the "angel" when someone else's soul is troubled, or even two "angels" connecting along the way, too. Sorry - I'm lacking better words for it, but I hope you know what I mean. I guess, I think that there are people out there we connect with. Maybe we were related or lovers (or enemies!) in a previous life. Whatever it is, I do believe it's something that's larger than time, and maybe even larger than the period of time in which the relationship occurs (like in Heidi's example).

I think there are people out there who reach places in us or understand us in ways others don't, etc. And, yes, I guess, I do think there can be more than one! As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I believe one can have a cat or other animal as a kind of soul-mate, too.

Just my two cents, too!
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