I Need Vibes!

Last night my friend called me while she was crying her eyeballs out! Her parents kicked her out after a huge blowout. Some words were said that maybe shouldn't have been said. So now she is staying with me. I just can't imagine how anyone could do that to their child. She said that she was getting ready for work and her dad started yelling at her (which she does alot) and that she was in a hurry so she wouldn't be late. He started messing with her head and poking her and cussing at her. She got mad and said you. Then she ran out of the house and he called her back in. She went back in and he slammed her against the dryer and grabbed her by the neck. They started yelling and she got lose and ran out the door. While she was at work she tried to call them and apologize but they just kept hanging up. She got home and by this time her dad told her mom what had happened. Her mom told her to give her house keys to her and her car keys. My friend pays for the car and even paid the down payment for her. Then her mom demanded $150 from her so she could cancel her phone. My friend pays for all of her stuff, it's just in her mom's name. She has by Saturday to get all of her stuff out or they are going to sell it. I went by her house to pick her up and her mom yelled out the door to her and said who's now? How could anyone do this to their kid. Sorry this post is so long but I just want to know what you think about since I am kind of biased on this position.
Oh, I forgot we are both 20 if that makes any difference.

At 20 years old she is old enough to live on her own.

As a parent, I had to kick my daughter out just before she turned 18.

We parents have a tolerance level for immaturity and irresponsibility and being a doormat for our children that only goes SO FAR.

I'm sorry, but having been on the other side of that coin, I would more likely than not wind up siding with her parents. There are two sides to every story.

I don't care what she said- nobody had the right to grab her by the neck and slam her up against the dryer. She needs to get out that violent situation and not go back. That's abuse. She doesn't deserve to put up with that. I wonder if there is more to the story?

Eithor way she's better off cutting ties and getting out of that situation. Vibes headed her way that she gets things in order to find her own place and get in a situation where she can care for herself

I have to agree with both sides here - I'm also a parent. Although my son is very young and doesn't live with me, I know how I would feel if my tolerance level was exceeded. Given that we don't have both sides of the story, there might be a good reason for her parents to be competely fed up. I would probably also lose my temper in the face of obscene language - though definitely not to the degree of violence. Anyway, that's as may be - BUT as Nikki rightly says, what your friend has just gone through is nothing less than physical abuse. She would actually have good reason to call the police over a violent situation like that.

I wonder if her mother is kicking her out because she is also being abused and wants her daughter out of that situation, possibly by siding with father, she can avoid a more violent situation directed at her. Forcing her to break ties may just be a blessing in disguise. It might be a hard and painful way to do it to ensure that your friend stays safe, but I don't know any mother who wouldn't do the same.

There are two sides.... but I also think there might be more to this than meets the eye. I really hope that you and your friend are ok there together and that things will start to work out. for both of you.

Thank you for some positive feedback. He has an anger problem and this isn't the first time something like that happened. He always starts fights with her and this time she just lost it. I'm just mad because they are taking all of her stuff away that she pays for. I don't know how her mom is going to sell the car. My friend got it back in July and she bought it for $13, 000. I'm not sure how that works but I don't think the car is worth what she owes on it. I think they call it negative equity.
I just wish I could do more for her. Last year she went through a nasty divorce with her high school sweetheart because he got another girl pregnant. She's just having a bad time and she doesn't deserve it because she is such a sweetheart and would give anyone the shirt off her back.
I feel like her parents are huge hyproctites!