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What attracts you romanticly?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
I've been thinking a lot lately about someone. I have a crush on him and it is sort of strange. I did not find him that attractive at first, but he won me over with his personality. For me this has always been true. I may not be attracted to someone until I know more about them. How about you, what attracts you to a romantic intrest?
post #2 of 28
My husband won me over with his personality. I thought he was some what dorky when we first met so it wasn't very physical at first.
post #3 of 28
money,,,, this is added for extra text.
post #4 of 28
everything about my partner!
post #5 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax View Post
everything about my partner!
Same here! Its definately a mix of physical, emotional & his personality
post #6 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
My husband won me over with his personality. I thought he was some what dorky when we first met so it wasn't very physical at first.
Me too! I'll admit, I wasn't really very physically attracted to John when I first met him.
post #7 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by babyharley View Post
Same here! Its definately a mix of physical, emotional & his personality
yeh, i agree!
post #8 of 28
I lean more towards personality than physical. I'm not very pretty so who am I to judge someone else?

I usually find someone more attractive once I have gotten to know them and like their personality.
post #9 of 28
I want the whole package! Physical, personality, you name it!
My DH didn't really appeal to me too much when I first saw him, but I knew he was he one! His crazy upbeat peronality that can just light a room! He was only 120lbs when I met him, and now I have him up to 200lbs! OH YEAH!!

I also will admit I am a sucker for a goot bottle of "liquidpantypulldown"
Some of those colognes smell so good... You just cant help but to smell em!!
post #10 of 28
it was personality, I went out with his best friend first. he was a *&^. My now Dh consoled me after his friend cheated on me. we talked on the phone for hours, after about two weeks we started go out. thirty years later he is still a sweetie.
post #11 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
My husband won me over with his personality. I thought he was some what dorky when we first met so it wasn't very physical at first.
lol Same here!
post #12 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchess15 View Post
I lean more towards personality than physical. I'm not very pretty so who am I to judge someone else?

I usually find someone more attractive once I have gotten to know them and like their personality.
Hey, there are plenty of people in this world who wouldn't find my husband physically attractive. He's not GQ pretty or anything but I find him absolutely irresistible and totally sexy! Why? Because he's an awesome person too. I'l admit that when I first saw him it was totally physical. The first thought in my head was sex! Fortunately I had the opportunity to talk to him upon that first meeting and I really liked him. So, physical may be the hook but if there hadn't been anything to back it a romantic relationship is out.
post #13 of 28
I must have been physically attracted to Hubby because I picked him up at Detroit Metro airport's baggage claim. He's intelligent and that is very important to me. We have similar backgrounds, too. I also looked at his paycheck when we first started going out. So, he's tall, good-looking, and good in, well, you know.
post #14 of 28
A mix of both for me too...although a guy that isn't super hot can be super hot with the right confidence
post #15 of 28
For me, it's all about personality. I can't ever remember being really attracted to someone until I've gotten to know them. When I was in high school there was a guy I had a major crush on even though he was what most people would consider downright homely. In fact, I didn't even like my husband until after I got to know him.
post #16 of 28
If they don't have a good personality then it probably won't work out. Looks fade but your personalility stays the same.
post #17 of 28
It has to be a mix. The guy doesn't have to be classically handsome, but some physical cuteness is necessary. Sparkly eyes, a nice smile, etc.

A warm, funny, loving personality; intelligence, strength of character (VERY important to determine as time does on), sense of humor, common interests, respect...

(uh, I think I just described my boyfriend! )
post #18 of 28
Initially it's the guy's height. I absolutely love tall men. Next it's their hair and eye colour. For some reason I find that I prefer dark hair and dark eyes.

Now, if that person also has a beard or mustache, they don't get a second look from me. I find facial hair to be a complete turn off no matter what other qualities the person has that I might like.

Next is personality. I like humour but I don't like loud, obnoxious, class clowns who need to be the centre of attention.

I am also attracted to intelligent men. I have an IQ of 148 and I find that I seek out men who have an even higher IQ than I do because sometimes I enjoy deep conversations and I also like to continuously learn. My ex has an IQ of 175 and one thing I miss about that relationship is the conversations we used to have. Hours and hours, sometimes staying up all night and doing nothing but talking about everything and anything for 12 or more hours.

I also like it when a man remembers things that I have said. That means more to me than a bunch of flowers. And I like to know that I sometimes cross his mind when I'm not with him, so an occasional phone call to say "hello! I was thinking about you!" means so much.

I also like independence. I am not his mother and I don't expect to be treated like a slave/servent. I like it when a man can cook, clean and do laundry without expecting me to do it.

And I love it when a man can express his emotions and doesn't feel that he has to be the strong one all of the time. One quality that my ex had that I adored is his ability to be open and honest and competely candid about things, and the fact that he wasn't ashamed to shed a tear when it was warranted.

To me that all defines "romance" to me.
post #19 of 28
I forgot to mention that for some reason I'm attracted to guys with dark curly hair.....i.e. (Josh Groban)
post #20 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Initially it's the guy's height. I absolutely love tall men. Next it's their hair and eye colour. For some reason I find that I prefer dark hair and dark eyes.

Now, if that person also has a beard or mustache, they don't get a second look from me. I find facial hair to be a complete turn off no matter what other qualities the person has that I might like.

Next is personality. I like humour but I don't like loud, obnoxious, class clowns who need to be the centre of attention.

I am also attracted to intelligent men. I have an IQ of 148 and I find that I seek out men who have an even higher IQ than I do because sometimes I enjoy deep conversations and I also like to continuously learn. My ex has an IQ of 175 and one thing I miss about that relationship is the conversations we used to have. Hours and hours, sometimes staying up all night and doing nothing but talking about everything and anything for 12 or more hours.

I also like it when a man remembers things that I have said. That means more to me than a bunch of flowers. And I like to know that I sometimes cross his mind when I'm not with him, so an occasional phone call to say "hello! I was thinking about you!" means so much.

I also like independence. I am not his mother and I don't expect to be treated like a slave/servent. I like it when a man can cook, clean and do laundry without expecting me to do it.

And I love it when a man can express his emotions and doesn't feel that he has to be the strong one all of the time. One quality that my ex had that I adored is his ability to be open and honest and competely candid about things, and the fact that he wasn't ashamed to shed a tear when it was warranted.

To me that all defines "romance" to me.
Honey, you dont need a man, YOU NEED A WIFE!!
LOL
post #21 of 28
I have to feel the initial pull of physical attraction, but really good-looking guys actually put me off a little, I draw the conclusion that they're cocky. No matter how physically attractive a guy is though, if he doesn't have a nice personality I won't stay interested for long
post #22 of 28
I think it's more persoanlity than looks, but looks is still important to me. I have to be attracted physically to my lover, no if ands or buts.
post #23 of 28
I guess I would have to say personality. I have pretty specific tastes, and tend to be more attract to quiet, confident people who are on the reserved side.
But hey a nice butt or blue eyes will turn my head on occasion.
post #24 of 28
Truth be told, when I met my dh I wasn't attracted to him at all. But, after spending time with him, I was completely smitten with his amazing sense of humor.
post #25 of 28
Looks fade, personality usually stays the same. BUT you have to be physically atttracted to the person from the start.

Why settle for just the personality and not want the physical too? I don't believe in the theory of "growing to love someone" and hoping you will. IMO you have to love them inside and out
post #26 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Initially it's the guy's height. I absolutely love tall men. Next it's their hair and eye colour. For some reason I find that I prefer dark hair and dark eyes.

Now, if that person also has a beard or mustache, they don't get a second look from me. I find facial hair to be a complete turn off no matter what other qualities the person has that I might like.

Next is personality. I like humour but I don't like loud, obnoxious, class clowns who need to be the centre of attention.

I am also attracted to intelligent men. I have an IQ of 148 and I find that I seek out men who have an even higher IQ than I do because sometimes I enjoy deep conversations and I also like to continuously learn. My ex has an IQ of 175 and one thing I miss about that relationship is the conversations we used to have. Hours and hours, sometimes staying up all night and doing nothing but talking about everything and anything for 12 or more hours.

I also like it when a man remembers things that I have said. That means more to me than a bunch of flowers. And I like to know that I sometimes cross his mind when I'm not with him, so an occasional phone call to say "hello! I was thinking about you!" means so much.

I also like independence. I am not his mother and I don't expect to be treated like a slave/servent. I like it when a man can cook, clean and do laundry without expecting me to do it.

And I love it when a man can express his emotions and doesn't feel that he has to be the strong one all of the time. One quality that my ex had that I adored is his ability to be open and honest and competely candid about things, and the fact that he wasn't ashamed to shed a tear when it was warranted.

To me that all defines "romance" to me.

Wow....I could have written this! The only thing that I would have said differently is:

Even if all of the above requirements have been met (ie: the perfect man!) and he lit up a cigarette....I'd walk away and never look back! I absolutely can not tolerate smoking!
post #27 of 28
I can be attracted to someone because of their looks, but when it came to dating, it had to be personality.

Like Natalie, it boils down to intelligence, wit, sensitivity, sharing responsibility, being equals in the relationship, and being thoughtful. I've also noticed over the years that the times I feel the most loved by Gary are the times that he - I don't know how to put this - but times that he makes sacrifices to help me or do something for me or with me.

But with Gary, it really was both physical and personality. I think he's completely gorgeous - and we definitely had a chemical connection as well as an emotional and spiritual connection. The first few months there was an physical electricity happening, and we could literally "feel" where the other person was even though in a different room. He used to pick me up from work, and I was on the 31st floor of a huge building - and I could always tell when he pulled up in the car outside. A few seconds later, the phone would ring. There was literally like an electrical buzzing sensitivity kind of thing, and just holding hands I could feel from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, like I was a lightbulb or something.

Laurie
post #28 of 28
My man won me completely with his wit and charm alone. He's funny and intelligent and relaxed, but can be serious when he really needs to be. He's very loving and most of the time he says the right thing at the right time. He's very supportive and encouraging - quite the positive energy to be around. We met online, so it was nice to find out that we could communicate before we saw one another. THEN I discovered that he was VERY good looking! THEN I discovered he's rich as WELL!!! And I'm not even going to mention the last thing I discovered - under the cover of darkenss!! I'm a lucky girl - I got the full package in this one!
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