There once was a frog.

u8myufo

u8myufo

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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!


Have a lovely day
 
lillekat

lillekat

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This one will probably be more appreciated by the Brits..... but


Two guys work in a restaurant. One named Yorfase, the other named Hans.
Yorfase was a new waiter, Hans was the kitchen assistant.

The restaurant was a fish restaurant, the kind that you choose which
fish/lobster/crab/squid that you wish to eat, and it gets taken to the
kitchens, etc.

In the tank there was a squid that Yorfase had grown fond of. It was a
real straggly looking thing, mild green in colour with hairy lips,
almost like a beard and moustache. It seemed fond of Yorface and used to
let Yorfase tickle him when the manager wasn't around.





One day, a man came into the restaurant and ordered Squid. Yorfase asked
which squid he would like. The man pointed to the mild green squid and
said "that one". Yorfase tried to make the man to choose a larger more
attractive active squid but the man refused to change his mind.





Sadly, Yorfase took his squid into the kitchens and lay it on the
chopping board. The squid looked at Yorfase with sad watery eyes as it
awaited its fate. Yorfase stood with the chopping knife in his hand and
could not kill his friend.





He called to Hans who was assigned to plate washing, and asked if he
could do the terrible deed, Yorfase could just not bear to kill the
squid.





Hans admitted that he could not kill the squid either.





The moral of the story is....Hans that do dishes are as soft as Yorfase
with Mild Green Hairy Lipped Squid!.
 
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