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I'm pretty upset

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
So here's the deal. Here I am sat at home, on a Friday night, while all the girls from work are out on the town living it up. Apparently there is a works night out tonight - that not a single person mentioned to me until this morning. They've been planning for the last couple of weeks to go out, and somehow in the process (despite the fact that I see them every day and work my butt off for them) neglected to let me know. I only found out when one of my colleagues said "so are you coming out to eat with us tonight?".

Uhm..... you're going out?

Maybe it was a miscommunication.... my boss says she thought a colleague asked me, this particular colleague was under the impression that boss did. Colleague was going to call the restaurant to see if there was space and to book an extra seat, then she would call me to let me know when and where. Well it's now after 7pm, so I'm guessing that the restaurant is fully booked with no space at all for me to join them. Either that, or someone's forgotten me again.

Either way, it sucks. I get to miss out on a good night out because they "forgot" to see if I would like to come too. It's not really a big deal, but there's a nagging feeling at the back of my head that what if it was a "we'd rather you weren't there". If that was the case surely it would be easier to just tell me straight up.

I feel like such a loose end I could really have done with a nice evening out with people that I like very much and just chill out all together.
post #2 of 17
I'd be upset too.
post #3 of 17
I know how you feel (been in similar situations myself at work).

I'm sorry that it seems they forgot about you, but the only thing I can think of is to not let them know that it bothers you. If they did it on purpose, they'll only get a kick out of it to see you bothered, or if it was really a miscommunication, they'll think you're overreacting.

Just wait to see if it happens again, and then make jokes about how you must blend in really well with the surroundings that they don't even know you're there.
post #4 of 17
I have been in that situation before, and it does make you feel left out

I have recently been shunned when it comes to work nights out...for instance the christmas do. I was told about it weeks before it was due to happen, so I decided to book that night off so that I had a place. A couple of days later, I received my form back telling me that the night was fully booked, and there was no space left for me.

I went up to the staff room to check on the list, as there were only 18 spaces. Low and behold, only six people were going from what I could see, and there were plenty of spaces!

Makes me wonder if they were picking favourites, or people who had been there the longest and had formed their own little 'group'.

To say the least, I was not impressed, and decided to complain to the Senior Carer who was in charge of the night out. She didn't have much to say to me after that, and in the end I decided that if they didn't want me there, then I wouldn't bother.

Overall, I had a better night out with my closest friends...at least they appreciated me!
post #5 of 17
Thread Starter 
I think what sucks the most is that these ARE my closest friends. Makes you wonder if they're as close as I thought.

Ah well, I suppose it was better for me health-wise to go to a gym instead of sit and eat until I burst anyway.
post #6 of 17
I recently had a similar thing happen to me. I know how it can hurt. The only difference was for me it was the part time girl who was doing the leaving out. She got close to the boss so that she could get my job (I was full time) and it worked for her. But I think that it was the best thing that could have happened to me--I was really miserable in the situation. I hope that it really was just a mistake! And that it won't happen again!! for you to feel better--and just remember- you always have us!
post #7 of 17
Awww, I would totally be upset too That stinks I take things like that very personally and its hard not to wonder why you weren't invited earlier. It could be anything though.

At least you've got us here
post #8 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by emrldsky View Post
I know how you feel (been in similar situations myself at work).

I'm sorry that it seems they forgot about you, but the only thing I can think of is to not let them know that it bothers you. If they did it on purpose, they'll only get a kick out of it to see you bothered, or if it was really a miscommunication, they'll think you're overreacting.

Just wait to see if it happens again, and then make jokes about how you must blend in really well with the surroundings that they don't even know you're there.



i deal with this type of stuff, every xmas at work.
working nights, they always forget to invite me.
lol not that i would go anyway
post #9 of 17
That sucks. I've been there a time or two myself - I know how you feel.

Just keep telling yourself that it's their loss that they didn't include you..

And you have us: we're better company, anyway!

~KK~
post #10 of 17
that's too bad! Maybe they're planning on making a surprise visit at your house tonight.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, unless it became an ongoing thing. Probably what happened is that each person kept thinking that someone else had told you.
post #11 of 17
I'm sorry you are feeling left out. Hope things work out next time. Be sure that you tell several coworkers to let you know. Our office sends around a lot of emals on things like that - maybe you can suggest that.
post #12 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbjerkness View Post
I'd be upset too.
yeh, i agree! i would be aswel
post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 
Well it's 3:30 am here, and I get the added joy of waiting for my DH to come home (very drunk) from his works night out. It would have been nice if he'd thought to send an sms here or there or at least answer the one I sent him. I asked if he would mind being home by 3, but apparently not. We made an agreement last time (I hate when he's out late because he always comeshome too drunk and too loud and wakes me up) that he would get better about letting me know if he would be very late or not. If he could remember to do that, then I'm not going to get mad at him for not getting home at a reasonable time. Apparently he doesn't remember that deal either. So we've just had a big fight on the phone too. I called him to find out where the hell he was (there have been a lot of knifings in CPH recently, so I worry when he's out. When he's drunk he's pretty obnoxious, and I worry that one wrong word to the wrong person could land him in trouble). He tells me he's fed up of me ruling his life. I know this is the alcohol talking, but it hurts all the same.

The one night I could have been out having a good time too, and this is how I get to spend it. I love you guys very much, but a little physical company would have been nice too.
post #14 of 17
*hugs* I know what it's like to be invisible

Several years ago one of my cousins got married. I had no idea about it. Apparently when they sent out the invitations they forgot me! They did send one to my brother and his girl friend. I was told by my cousin (the father of the groom) that at the wedding reception they noticed I wasn't there and realized that they had forgotten to invite me

Try not to take it to heart. I doubt they excluded you on purpose.
post #15 of 17
Don't feel bad. I get left out of things at work pretty often. Or I'm the last one to find out. Sometimes I wonder if they do it on purpose. I've just learned to ignore it and figure it is their loss. I don't even try anymore. I just go to work and do my job. It's not worth the energy to worry and care about petty things when there are more important things going on in life.

I know it hurts, but think of it this way. It's better to find out now than later when you may have really invested a lot more of your time into it. Sometimes it takes events like this to find out who your friends really are.
post #16 of 17
i am sorry, sounds like this whole day was rough.
get some sleep, the new day will look better.
post #17 of 17
I totally relate... That has been the story of my life... I never get invited to the Friday Girls Night out.. I may be older than those girls, but I need a night out too now and then.
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