Should we just take Jasper

graciecat

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Warning: this is going to be a novel.

Since we had to have our Lizzie put to sleep back in May we've been half heartedly looking for another cat.
We've gone to the shelter a couple of times...always looking for an older female cat.
We have two females and a male I love them all, but I prefer female cats...I always have.

Every older cat, male or female that we've seen at the shelter has either had a sign on the cage saying that they want a home without other cats or without small children...so we're out on both counts with that one.

A few months ago I was so in love with a 10 year old pure white female named Angel...one blue eye and one green eye, that I was thisclose to just giving it a try...if it hadn't worked I would have found her another home...she WAS NOT going to go back to the shelter, but then I realized that it wouldn't be fair to Angel.

At the end of November the Son of the lady across the street moved home with his girlfriend and their 3 cats.
One black kitten named Doom, a long haired very obviously un-neutered orange boy named Jack and a long haired orange and white boy named Jasper.
They say that Jasper isn't neutered either, but when I look at Jasper and I look at my Elliott, they look the same and Elliott is neutered.
Jack's are right in your face
but when you look at Jasper it's very tiny...like Elliott's...to put it bluntly...it looks like just the sack with nothing inside.

Doom got out...or was let out
and tried to follow me down the ally one day...I was going for a walk with my youngest son.
I didn't want her to wander away so I picked her up and took her home.
I knocked on the door and the son answered I told him what had happened and why I was bringing Doom home, I also told him that we'd been seeing a hawk flying around and given that Doom was so tiny she'd make a nice snack.
He agreed and put Doom in the house only to let her out three days later.
Nobody has seen Doom since, did the hawk get her? did someone take her in? did she wonder away and get hit with a car?
Nobody knows and the people who she belonged to just don't care.
When I asked him about her a few days after she went missing his answer to me was "Oh, well someone probably took her in it's not a big deal"


Jack was outside once and they took him back in and don't let him out any more...which is good.

Now to Jasper...I fell in love with him the second I saw him...he's big...just like Lizzie was...he's orange and white...just like Lizzie was.
He's the sweetest thing..something Lizzie was..when she wanted to be

In fact when she got in one of her "Moods" we called her Lizzie Borden.

A week before Christmas I see Jasper outside.
The irrespondable son told me that they HAD to throw him out because he had opened the closet door, clawed up four comforters to get to a box of candy that was behind the comforters, torn open the box of candy and ate it all...keep in mind this was a two pound box of chocolate covered peanuts.
They didn't hear any of this and they were all at home.
Add to all of this that after the cat "supposedly" ate all this candy he didn't get sick?
Frankly, it sounds like an excuse to throw him out.
Come on, I know cats can and do a lot of things, but to do all of that in silence and not get sick?
Plus he had an open wound on his face.

The son first told me that he did it to himself...then he told me that their dog had bitten him and that they'd taken him to the Vet the Vet had cleaned it up and put an e-collar on Jasper, but he didn't like the collar so they took it off and he kept ripping open his face while he was inside, but didn't rip it open when he was outside.

For the past two weeks Jasper has been living on our back porch...they have no idea where he's at and they haven't come looking either.
His face had healed up, but he did scratch it open yesterday...so much for him not bothering it when he's outside.


If you where me would you just gather Jasper up, take him to the Vet for testing and to see if he is or is not neutered and then just bring him in?
Or would you tell them where he is, knowing that they know he's "missing" and haven't looked for him at all?

My Husband is a Policemen and he tells me we can't just steal the neighbors cat....sorry, but I don't look at it as stealing..I look at it as a rescue.

They don't know how old he is...I asked...but he appears to be around Elliott's age which is almost 3.
Elliott is the first male cat I've ever had, he never sprayed as a stray and has never sprayed inside either...he was neutered three days after we brought him in and he was 18 months old.
If we do bring Jasper in and he's not already neutered we will of course have that done...BUT since it takes at least 4 weeks for all of the horomes to get out of their system will Elliott decide to spray to mark the house as his?
Will they try to fight it out to be head male cat?
Annabelle is the head honcho now...no doubt about that...but will Elliott try to make sure that Jasper doesn't "take his place" so to speak?

Sorry for all the questions, like I said I've had cats all my life, but Elliott is the first male so I really have no idea if two males would get along without one trying to dominate the other.
My girls have always gotten along and even though Annabelle is alpha now that Lizzie is gone, she's never tired to dominate Gracie in any way.
She's swated Elliott a couple of times, but nothing aggressive...they play together all the time.
 

opilot

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Oh my ... TAKE Jasper in and RUN! LOL> You know NOTHING when they ask, if they even CARE to ask. Simply take him in to your vet, get him combo tested and cleaned up and take him home, LOL.

Keep inside only, or if he wont allow it, indoor/outdoor ... and make SURE
you chip him.


That's my 2 cents. I hate irresponsible pet owners who don't care 2 twits
about the animals they "care" for supposedly.
 

darlili

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I applaud your husband's ethics, but if they haven't been looking for Jasper, I'd just think of you just sort of missing the steps of reporting Jasper to animal control and then adopting him after AC picked him up! I'd take him to the vet for a check-up and go home from there. Usually the males aren't as territorial as the females, so this may be a plus.

Would your husband be totally uncomfortable with the situation?
 

twstychik

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I agree with everyone else. It's clear that Jasper already has a special place in your heart. If your hubby is that worried about it I bet anything you could go to the neighbors, tell them that Jasper has been living on your back porch and if they don't mind you'd like to take him in. Based on your post, they probably won't care.
 

addiebee

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Originally Posted by twstychik

I agree with everyone else. It's clear that Jasper already has a special place in your heart. If your hubby is that worried about it I bet anything you could go to the neighbors, tell them that Jasper has been living on your back porch and if they don't mind you'd like to take him in. Based on your post, they probably won't care.
Yuup, yup. yup. BUT - people can be weird about it, so be prepared.
 
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graciecat

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Originally Posted by opilot

Oh my ... TAKE Jasper in and RUN! LOL> You know NOTHING when they ask, if they even CARE to ask. Simply take him in to your vet, get him combo tested and cleaned up and take him home, LOL.

Keep inside only, or if he wont allow it, indoor/outdoor ... and make SURE
you chip him.


That's my 2 cents. I hate irresponsible pet owners who don't care 2 twats
about the animals they "care" for supposedly.
That's my feeling too, just take him.
If they cared even a little they'd be looking for him.
Their reaction to the fact that Doom was more then likely lunch for a hawk tells me that they shouldn't have pets PERIOD!
But, if he comes in he stays in.
There won't be any going outside again...they told me that he's always been an indoor only cat so I don't think he'll want back out.
I think the whole candy story is made up and that the Mother's dog didn't get along with him so out he went.

Originally Posted by darlili

I applaud your husband's ethics, but if they haven't been looking for Jasper, I'd just think of you just sort of missing the steps of reporting Jasper to animal control and then adopting him after AC picked him up! I'd take him to the vet for a check-up and go home from there. Usually the males aren't as territorial as the females, so this may be a plus.

Would your husband be totally uncomfortable with the situation?
He'd get over it, he always does

We had Gracie and Lizzie and then I rescued Annabelle...he got over her then he got over Elliott.
But then again neither of them were "owned" cats both were stray.
Besides the fact that he looks at it like stealing ( even though he did admit to me that Jasper has basically been abandoned ) he keeps saying "Look at all that hair and with your allergies, what are you thinking?"
"You KNOW he HAS to have fleas and you know that means a tape worm"
"Why do you believe that the dog bite him, what if he got into a fight with something when they put him out and that something had rabies?"

He's just trying to talk me out of it...he knows that my allergies aren't going to stop me....we have three cats now (it was four before Lizzie went to the bridge) so if my allergies haven't killed me by now bringing Jasper in isn't going to do it either.
We've dealt with fleas and tapeworms before...Annabelle and Elliott had both..no big deal we got rid of the fleas and treated them for the tapeworm and they're fine.
The rabies thing did kind of make me stop and think, but I really do believe that it was the dog and I believe that Jasper would be showing signs of being ill by now if indeed he was.

Originally Posted by twstychik

I agree with everyone else. It's clear that Jasper already has a special place in your heart. If your hubby is that worried about it I bet anything you could go to the neighbors, tell them that Jasper has been living on your back porch and if they don't mind you'd like to take him in. Based on your post, they probably won't care.
I agree, I don't think they'll care at all.
BUT, I'm afraid to take the chance.
The Girlfriend told me one day that Jasper was and I quote "My Baby"...well excuse me, but you don't toss your baby outside and then never bother with him again.
If it's a matter of the Mother's dog not liking Jasper and Mom wanting Jasper out well then I'd be packing up my stuff and my cat and looking for somewhere else to go or at the very least even keeping Jasper away from the dog until I could find somewhere else to go.
If it were me, there's no way he'd have been thrown out.
 

mom2raven

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my 2 cents,
if they just "threw" him out, maybe you could ask him if you could have him? Then your husband would not be uncomfortable and they could never accuse you of stealing their cat.
 

laureen227

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Originally Posted by opilot

Oh my ... TAKE Jasper in and RUN! LOL> You know NOTHING when they ask, if they even CARE to ask. Simply take him in to your vet, get him combo tested and cleaned up and take him home, LOL.
they've already abandoned him, you're not stealing him.
 
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graciecat

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Mason and I talked...out of ear shot of the kids of course.
He said I need to go over and ask them if Jasper has come home yet.
If they say no...which they will...he told me to then say "Gee, I wonder what happened to him?"
Then if I get the same kind of answer about him that I got about Doom then we can take Jasper to the Vet, have him checked and if he's okay we can bring him in.

He said if they show no interest in where he might be then he's fair game.

So, I did go over the lights are on in the livingroom but nobody came to the door.
I went to the back door thinking they might be in the kitchen but they didn't come to that door either.
I just thought I'd mention that there was no food or food bowls on either porch.
The way I look at it, if they cared about him at all they'd at least have food out for him or at least a bowl they could put food in.
It's been snowing all day long, there are footprints from the mailman and some footprints that must be theirs going out.
No sign of a bowl ever being there and no prints of any kind on the back porch.

So I guess I'll go over tomorrow.

Mason went outside to make sure he was in his little straw filled house, he was.
Jasper came out when he saw Mason and Jasper is such a little hair ball that neither of us noticed this before, but he has a flea collar on.
So I'm kind of wondering now if the whole thing with his face isn't because of the flea collar.
Maybe he's trying to get it off and that's why he keeps scratching open his face.
Any way, Mason took the collar off.
 

catsknowme

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OOOhhh, this is getting dramatic - Please remember that when you finally get to speak with the neighbors, the rest of us here at TCS are with you in thoughts, prayers & vibes!! I am so glad that you have taken Jasper in
 

brokenheart

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As far as male gettings getting along with each other. I've had three together (all neutered) and they've all been best pals.

Keep us posted!
 
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graciecat

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I just got back from the neighbors.
When I asked the Son if he'd seen Jasper he said no, but I'm not looking for him either, he's not my cat he belongs to Nicole...that's his girlfriend...or at least it used to be....something I wasn't aware of until just now.

He told me that Nicole had moved out a couple of weeks ago...so she left and then Jasper got thrown out, according to him.

He then tells me that she came back a couple of days later to get the rest of her things and Jasper, but Jasper was already "missing"
Then he tells me "I wish that damn cat would should up, I'm sick of her calling everyday to see if he's back and I'm sick of her driving up and down the street looking for it"...IT
what an idiot.

I asked him if he had a phone number for her so in case I saw Jasper I'd give her a call...he wouldn't give me her phone number and I have no idea what her last name is, but he did tell me where she works he said she works Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 9 AM to 9 PM...so tomorrow I'm going to pay a visit to her at work and see what kind of reaction she has when I ask about Jasper....but if she's looking for him it sounds to me like it wasn't her that gave him the pitch it was more than likely the ex-boyfriend and his Mother.

I can't take that girls cat if she truely loves him and wants him back...which sadly for me...it sounds like she does.

I'll let you know what I find out tomorrow.
 

catsknowme

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Originally Posted by Graciecat

I can't take that girls cat if she truely loves him and wants him back...which sadly for me...it sounds like she does.

I'll let you know what I find out tomorrow.
Spoken like a true cat lover!! You have such compassion for both the cat & the girl [makes you realize why she must have left, poor thing]. Maybe when she speaks with you, she will realize that Jasper is better off in a stable home and that maybe further down the road she can adopt a couple of kittens in need, when she's got a stable situation to offer to them. Although, Jasper may be her comfort during a difficult time.
Sending prayers & vibes that the girl is given the wisdom to do what's best for Jasper, just like you are
 
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graciecat

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Thank you.
I just keeping thinking about the day she called Jasper "My Baby".
I did something I shouldn't have done.
I lumped that poor girl in with her ex-boyfriend and his mother and I didn't even realize that she'd left and that she was looking everyday for Jasper.

I want what's best for Jasper and if she's what's best for him I'll tell her I found him.
I'm just sorry I didn't realize what was going on before I judged that poor girl.

I feel like such a creep
 

addiebee

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Don't feel bad. You had no way of knowing what was going on across the street in someone else's house. You acted out of love and compassion for Jasper and you still are!
 

robertm

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You were --- and still are --- trying to do the right thing here. Trying to balance Jasper's well-being with your husband's sense of fair play and with Nicole's rights as Jasper's owner. In a situation like this, obviously at least one party isn't going to be happy with the end result.

None of this makes you a creep. If it weren't for you, who knows --- that hawk may have found Doom to be such a delicious meal that he decided to come back for Jasper. Or any number of other threats that homeless cats constantly face.

People are judged by the company that they keep. I consider it perfectly logical and understandable to lump Nicole in with the other misfits. And as such, given their complete lack of concern over their cats' safety and health, coupled with their Hans Christian Andersen-esque storytelling, neither she nor they deserved the benefit of the doubt.

Nobody else can tell you what the best course of action is, obviously. If I were faced with the same set of circumstances I really don't know how I'd proceed. On the one hand, I just get the impression that Nicole is not going to give Jasper the appropriate level of care. She shouldn't have had to come back for him along with the rest of her "things" because he should have been the first item that she took when she initially left. Period. And just because she refers to him as "my baby" doesn't necessarily mean that she cares for him properly (actions speak louder than words). On the other hand, she is his rightful owner and she allegedly continues to search and inquire about him.

Like I said, there's no easy answer here. But kudos to you for getting involved and trying to do the right thing.
 

eilcon

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You have absolutely no reason to feel bad.
You've been acting out of compassion and concern for Jasper, which no one else in this situation appears to have done. It could very well be that his owner does care about him, but staying with her in an unstable situation isn't good for her or Jasper. I agree talking with her to clarify things is the next logical step, but my gut's telling me Jasper would be better off with you. My prayers are with you and him.
 
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graciecat

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Thank you all so much for your support, I can't tell you how much it means to me.
I just want Jasper to be safe, warm, fed and loved.
All I can do now is talk to Nicole tomorrow and see how she acts when I ask about him.

Thank God I've never had to go through looking for a lost cat.
I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be, to worry and wonder if the cat is alive or dead.
Wanting to know the truth but dreading finding out all at the same time.

Whether he lives his life out here with us or with Nicole as long as he's taken care of is all that matters to me.
 

brokenheart

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If you give him back to her, maybe you can give her your phone/email and tell her that if in the future, for any reason, she can't keep him (for example, moving) that you would love to take him in.
 
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